Name That Weird Invention!

It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas in his Museum of Possibilities posts. What should we name this one? The commenters suggesting the funniest and wittiest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop. Put on your thinking cap and leave an entry in the comments.

Contest rules: one entry per comment, though you can enter as many as you like. Please make a selection of the T-shirt you want (may we suggest the Science T-shirt, Funny T-shirt, and Artist-designed T-shirt categories?) alongside your entry. If you don't select a shirt, then you forfeit the prize. Good luck!

Update: First prize for naming it and a t-shirt goes to Scott-O, who calls it Asscender. Second prize is awarded to ed4linda for calling it the SUC: Sport Utility Compact-o-van. However, ed4linda did not select a t-shirt.

During April and May, Steven will be off writing a book describing his techniques for thinking up whimsical product concepts, and will not be submitting images to Neatorama.com. The Name That Wierd Invention contest will resume Monday, May 30.