Name That Weird Invention!



It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of wacky inventions in his weekly Museum of Possibilities posts. Can you come up with a name for this one? I can't even figure out what it's for! The commenter suggesting the funniest and wittiest name will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop.

Contest rules: one entry per comment, though you can enter as many as you like. Please make a selection of the T-shirt you want (may we suggest the Science T-shirt, Funny T-shirt, and Artist-designed T-shirt categories?) alongside your entry. If you don't select a shirt, then you forfeit the prize. Good luck!

Update: Congratulations to qwhacker, who called this "The Long Arm of the Law". Qwhacker wins a t-shirt from the NeatoShop! The second place entry was from cs, who did not specify a t-shirt:
"The future of traffic enforcement - The Self-Service Ticketing Lane Response Vehicle and Revenue Generator. No longer will officers have to be inconvenienced by weather or in danger from other vehicles on the highway. They will be able to work comfortably from the nearest coffee shop and use Facetime to issue tickets while sipping their latte.

"Drive Up X2" Police Patrol System

The officer drives up to the stopped individual, who in turn, has apparently driven up to the video interface. Drive Up times 2.

Neatoramabot on gray, medium
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The Got-Away
"The law enforcement vehicle that does 0-50 in 20 seconds, requires four lanes to make a u-turn, and won't drive in reverse. Now with forty percent tire protection!"

Neato Turtle XL
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The purpose of the invention? To keep the officer safe from an armed driver. Put a breathalyzer and fingerprint reader on it before it gets mass-produced!

As long as it has a siren, call it the "Whooping Crane"

Since it keeps cops out of harm's way, "Cop-out"

Or, since police stay in the vehicle, "Cop-in"

"Long arm" would have obvious references to the law.

It may help catch thieves, but the spectacle may slow traffic: "Robber necker"

The extendable arm gets its own name: "Telis-cop"

The video screeen could be called "No-eskype" (or the ticket wicket?)

And the keypad/license reader could be called "Patrol Control" or "Speeder Reader".
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The " Cop-Chat-O-Matic "
Proposed situation:
On a game show
" Hello miss you are on with the Cop-Chat-O-Matic! I have been meaning to ask you: ... Can I see your license and registration please?! "

I would like the " chemists do it periodically" shirt in a small please
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The future of traffic enforcement - The Self-Service Ticketing Lane Response Vehicle and Revenue Generator. No longer will officers have to be inconvenienced by weather or in danger from other vehicles on the highway. They will be able to work comfortably from the nearest coffee shop and use Facetime to issue tickets while sipping their latte.
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The Mobile Cop Shop - who needs to go back to the police station when you can take care of those reports or tickets right in the field.

Moose Likely to Succeed, Medium, Serene Green
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Mobile Driving Offender Notification Upbraid and Ticketing System - Mobile D.O.N.U.T.S

Oh, and don't forget - iPlod

T-shirt = Look Out Schroedinger's Cat, It's a Trap! Male, 2XL, chocolate or black
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