Bank Issues 43-Page Dress Code

The Swiss bank UBS has issued a new dress code for its employees. The document is 43 pages long and goes into exhaustive detail about how bank workers should present themselves to the public, including underwear colors and makeup application:

The regulations designate a 1.5 millimeter maximum fingernail length for men, suggests that female bankers wear makeup and put on perfume directly after showering and not after lunch, advocates that shoes be changed daily to bring greater levels of “peace and serenity,” and mandates employee underwear that is skin-toned and “always made of superior quality textiles.”[...]

Men should don footgear with a shoehorn; women should not wear new shoes. Suits must not only be charcoal grey, black, or dark blue, but dress coats must always be buttoned when employees stand, and open when sitting. Skirts must reach the middle of the knee with a tolerance for extending 5 centimeters below the joint.

Stockings that are "opaque" are out. Socks? Always black. Women may wear no more than seven jewels, men three. Scarves are compulsory, and to be tied with “authorized knots.”


Link via Lowering the Bar | Photo via Flickr user twicepix used under Creative Commons license

In my first real job I got a negative performance review for looking "shabby". I asked for specifics, so that I would know what to change, but my supervisor, and his, and the HR people would offer no suggestions, only that I needed to improve.
So I went to the bookstore and found a book that gave me a series of rules to follow for selecting, wearing, and caring for my clothes. This appealed to my engineering mindset -- follow the formula.
It worked extremely well. Since I walked to work, it also made me extremely popular with the shoe repair shop, but that's another story. Worn-in leather soled shoes can be extremely comfortable and still look great.
So my reaction to this article has been "oh cool, they're Swiss, they're wanting to project an image of cool competence, and they've created a rulebook for how to do it! Where do I get it?"
Unfortunately, I've only been able to find the dresscode_f.pdf version of the file, not the dresscode_m.pdf.
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Having their wardrobe micromanaged by The Man will be just great for employee morale.

I like the fact that the teller at my bank wears funky costume jewelry and does her hair and makeup like a 70s Bollywood star. I'd be really put off by a cold, regimented, corporate ambiance. I like to see more personality.
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Shorter post:
Where can I find the pdf of the male version of this? the "F" version is linked from LeTemps and other places, but the "H" version eludes my searching skills.
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And I thought my employer was bad for saying women who have large engagement rings should leave them at home because the secretaries aren't as wealthy and it would make them feel bad.

This is about a million lawsuits waiting to happen. How do they expect to have any workers? It's a like a mini North Korea.
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My first job in 1968 required white dress shirts (wear a pastel one and they'd send you home) with tie and dark pants. And that's in an office away from the public eye. What goes around, comes around.
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Being around so many well dressed people to that extreme will just make me feel so uncomfortble walking in there! Just stick to the no jeans or khaki policy and let the rest use their judgement!
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