How to Brew Beer in a Coffee Maker, Using Only Materials Commonly Found on a Modestly Sized Oceanographic Research Vessel

Southern Fried Scientist, a graduate student studying population genetics in hydrothermal vent communities, was onboard a research vessel longer than he normally likes to go without beer. So he decided to brew his own, and now offers detailed instructions on how you can do likewise:

The tools you need are simple: an electric drip coffee maker with hot plate, a coffee filter, 2 1-liter glass sample jars with air-tight lids, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 rubber bands, and a source of clean (preferably R/O) water.

You’ll have to be more creative with your ingredients. Your need grains, malt, hops, and something for flavor. Simple grains such as those found in common cereals – Raisin Bran, Cracked Wheat, Kashi, whatever you can find – are decent sources of starches and usually contain enough enzymes to break the most complex proteins down. Fruit and nuts will add flavor, but are not important. The grains should be ground as fine as possible, rolled under a rolling pin or crushed in a mortar and pestle. The smaller the grains the greater the reactive surface area.


Link via Say Uncle | Photo (unrelated) via Flickr user Matt Seppings used under Creative Commons license

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"Pffft! You do not need hops or even grain. A sugar source and water are the minimum ingredients you need to make a brew."

Yeah and all ya need for 'wine' is prunes, a plastic bag and a toilet. But f--k if I'm gonna drink that if I ain't back in prison.
... ... ...

"But coffee is, indeed, an excellent additive. I brewed a coffee porter that ROCKED a few years back."

In the whole of my life there are three hangovers that I remember. One of them totally not worth it at all. ...
Irritating, twitchy, buzzless, most frustrating "drinking" EVER.
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Pffft! You do not need hops or even grain. A sugar source and water are the minimum ingredients you need to make a brew.

But coffee is, indeed, an excellent additive. I brewed a coffee porter that ROCKED a few years back.
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