Fashion Misstatements

By StevenMJohnson in Fashion, Museum of Possibilities on Sep 10, 2010 at 5:05 am

When What The World Needs Now was published in 1984 I felt I had tapped into a streak of American cultural insanity – or, to be more honest, my own insanity – so successfully that no future designs in any field could out-crazy mine. Wrong! Instead, I see now that my work was just a timid first step in a worldwide mix ‘n match innovation binge that would make my odd designs look almost staid and boring. In 1984, these women’s shoes, for example, were my idea of nutty-crazy.

Yet, if you follow fashion design these days, some of the designs for dresses, coats, hats and shoes for women seem over-the-top insane. Today, no strange idea is allowed to remain unexplored.

I have tried my best to be ahead of the curve. Here are some truly meaningless and awkward shoe-hat combo designs. This clothing line is part of my As Above So Below collection. These, I hope, are crazier than current clothing designers would dare offer to the buying public.

In women’s wear, funky and colorful tennis shoes have become a fashion item and are sometimes worn with a formal dress or business suit.

When I look back at my files from 1982-83 I find odd hat designs that touched on the shoe-hat theme. They have never been published. They are shown on Neatorama for the first time.

Can the current crop of fashion designers top these? I doubt they can. These designs are at once too heavy, sweaty and off-balance to really catch on. Or are they? Assuming they merely look like the shoe or boot they are imitating, but are actually ultra-light, might there be a clientele for these? Should I quit cartooning and start designing ShoeHat products?

These soft sheepskin slipper-style ShoeHats look rather warm and comfortable if worn in winter. I like them. One could store lightweight things inside the upper story.

The GloveHat on the right would not fit with my ShoeHat product line, of course. Plus, unlike the ShoeHats, this design is borderline practical, assuming one could discover an advantage to having two matching and one non-matching GloveHats. Right-handers would choose a right-hand GloveHat as the hat, considering it as a spare.

In an upcoming post in the Museum of Possibilities series, I will continue to explore the hat theme. I plan to shift away from impractical designs like the above to practical and useful designs like the snowshoes hat, smoking helmet, and folding campsite toilet hat.

Visit Steven M. Johnson at his website.


What The World Needs Now (Autographed Editions)
If you like Steven M. Johnson's Museum of Possibilities, you'll love his book! What The World Needs Now is packed with 152-pages full of his wonderful, zany, and plain weird inventions: Link

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  1. Gurumaguaffi
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 5:59 am

    hahahahaha!

  2. Manticore
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 6:36 am

    am I the only one who don’t think any of these are funny, amusing, or neat at all?

  3. mks43094
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 7:00 am

    You should call it “shat.” Oh wait… maybe that would be a bad idea.

  4. Gauldar
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 8:12 am

    @Manticore

    Yes, you are the only one. Those moccasin hats are hilarious.

  5. lewen
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 8:22 am

    missed the boat again…last year a designer..can’t remember who…sent their models down the runway with 3 inch heels strapped to thier heads as hats.

  6. Alex
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 9:16 am

    This will go well with my Undercap!

  7. Frau
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 10:05 am

    @ manticore – no. I do not see them as funny or amusing.

    Circa 1974 – I was designing and creating my own outfits for my Tiffany Taylor doll. Most notably her shoes. she only came with one set, so I made her some other shoes from unusual materials. Recently Alexander McQueen had some amazing shoes from the Platos Atlantis line, and I saw some shoes that reminded me of the ones I had made many years ago.

  8. El Tonto
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    The shoe hats are ripped off from the movie “Brazil”.

  9. StevenMJohnson
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Hmm… Iewen and El Tonto accuse me of being too late with the ShoeHat concept or stealing it. These drawings, as I carefully noted, were done in 1982-3 while the movie Brazil, which I have not seen, came out in 1985! Precognition, perhaps?

  10. mks43094
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    You should call it “shat.” Oh wait… I already said that.

  11. RocketTem
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Crocs would make some very sexy wetsuits.

  12. ted
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Funny and amusing are kind the same thing, Manticore.

    Sure, I don’t feel the same way about his cartoons, but I let it pass, knowing that somebody is enjoying them.

  13. Dougert
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    manticore, i am right there with you. these are not amusing or neat, just stupid ideas that were drawn on paper. i used to do this too, but i was in grade school. they are a waste of neato-space. i don’t understand how they are reoccuring posts.

  14. Ben Terry
    Sep 10th, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    Man, I love these posts. The early ones that somehow people took dead serious, and the later ones now that people just “I don’t like” about. To be honest, I hope they all get compiled into some kind of book. They kind of have a Church of the Sub-genius meets Mad Magazine meets Dead Kennedys liner notes thing going on. Some of them comment on things pretty clearly, others are just for fun, all good.

  15. Manticore
    Sep 11th, 2010 at 12:42 am

    not really the same thing. I can’t really explain it but I guess ‘amusing’ to me is a weaker version of funny. But really. What’s so funny about a guy wearing a shoe hat. Every time one of these pops up I roll my eyes and skip over. Just wondered this time if I was the one person who didn’t see something funny/neat in these things.

  16. ted
    Sep 11th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Well yeah, manticore. The phrase you’re looking for is “mildly amusing” as opposed to side-splitting funny.

    I think it’s funny when you see some of the people who don’t get it, and think these are real ideas, but mostly I shrug and scroll down. To each his/her own.

  17. Michaelpeets
    Sep 11th, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    I suggest to SOME folks that they find other (better) venues to release their anger than the comments section of blog-posts.

  18. Johnny Cat
    Sep 11th, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    I appreciate Steven’s posts, ya’all are just of a different cloth if you don’t think it’s amusing. For the rest of us who do, keep it up, dude!

  19. StevenMJohnson
    Sep 12th, 2010 at 12:03 am

    Well, a few like Ben Terry and Johnny Cat say they like my posts and that I should continue with them, but a cluster of like-minded folks agree that my work is a big waste of “Neato-space”.
    The discussion here among the Neato-space Time Waster Club has even delved into shades of difference in meaning between something that is “amusing” vs. something that is “funny.’ I have rather enjoyed that discussion.

  20. John P.
    Sep 12th, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    I love these posts! Sort of like if Phillip Garner were writing blog posts.

  21. StevenMJohnson
    Sep 12th, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Mr. P: If Phil Garner were writing blogs here, I would gladly step aside. My work appeared alongside his work on the People & Places page in Road & Track magazine in the early 1980s. I was honored to be on the same page with a truly strange man like Phil.


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