Comments on: 11 Recordings of Terrible Hold Music

By: TA_Tim

TA_Tim — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 19:09:35 +0000

I can’t stand #7!

By: Golden Silence

Golden Silence — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 04:58:13 +0000

#3 made me want to shove an auger through my ears and hit the Go Button. #4 actually wasn’t too bad. Speaking of number 4 – I found two names and a song title attached to it: Darrick A. Deel and Tim Carleton – Opus Number 1. They were the two engineers that worked on the Unified CallManager project.

Here’s a directory with various wavs of the song in it: http://www.digitalnrg.com/dnrgftp/MOH/

The first, third, and fourth sound the same to me with the last one sounding a bit… “higher fidelity.” *snrk* I couldn’t be arsed to mess with the second file.

Here’s a YouTube link if you wanna terrorize/please your friends: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5ZvUYhIeoQ

Cheers!

By: Bleeding ears

Bleeding ears — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 21:07:02 +0000

I think #2 has been in several… uhhh… “movies.” But #3 is by far the worst? When you play all of them at the same time it is better than #3.

By: KMan

KMan — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 18:34:17 +0000

Carson, Brandi, Vampiress, and Aerik:

You all mentioned #4. It reminds me of flying over the coast of a caribbean island with the blue water below the plane!

Could one of you PLEASE research the Title/Artist of that hold loop?

For some strange reason I really dig it and would appreciate having the full-fidelity in my collection!

Thanks on behalf of myself and Dday!

By: Dday

Dday — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 06:09:50 +0000

Where can I download #4?? I have a customer at work that loves that song (not sure why) and it would be awesome if I could get it to him for a ringtone. Any ideas? I’ve scoured the internet and cannot find it and my internal phone guys are no help.

By: Donna Mourra

Donna Mourra — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 16:35:17 +0000

“Melody Phone” was invented by Jean Georges A Mourra. My father was the first person who invented music while waiting on the phone. It’s a music box that you attach to the back of the phone. My father invented it because everytime he was waiting on line for someone, they would hang up the telephone, and he got tired of waiting and then they would hang up on him. If anyone says they invented it, they are wrong. My father is still alive and he is 81 years old.

By: Vee

Vee — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:49:09 +0000

The best hold music is Symantec (Norton Anti Virus). They play pop/rock music from the 80′s and 90′s. Well that was 2 years ago. I don’t know if they still play the same thing.

By: PENFOLD

PENFOLD — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 21:25:55 +0000

#6
correct me if i’m wrong, that’s the hold music used by MICROSOFT.
It only wins because you will spend at least TWO HOURS deling with Tech Support and a good amount of time is listening to this awful s**t!

By: The Kieselguhr Kid

The Kieselguhr Kid — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 05:18:09 +0000

Haha. These are great. #4 is a classic. I used to have a customer service job that sometimes required me and my coworkers to be on hold for long periods of time. We all agreed that #4 was the cheesiest hold music ever invented, and whenever one of us got stuck listening to it, we would put it on speakerphone so the whole office would have to suffer. Haven’t heard it in years, but I recognized it right away. Thanks for the memories.

By: evilcupcakes

evilcupcakes — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:48:20 +0000

I work at the front desk in a hospital lab, so I have to call doctors and clinics all day long. You know when you call your doctor and have to navigate that convoluted phone tree from hell only to get put on hold for 20 minutes? Welcome to my nightmare. Many of them use #4, and I have actually grown to like it because 1) it’s WAAAY better than some of the crap I am subjected to (“Thinking about liposuction? We’re here to help!”) and 2) it gives me a brief respite from the dreadful, repetitive, “Fergalicious” Top 40 radio station I am forced to listen to all day long. How sad is that bit of Pavlovian conditioning??

By: efficientcom

efficientcom — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 07:17:34 +0000

10 is like a sitcom from the late 70s mixed with a after school special about acne scars.

By: zxcvb

zxcvb — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:30:30 +0000

#11 is awesome and epic! I would love to hear that — I would get so pumped.

By: apcroz

apcroz — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:12:09 +0000

You want to hear GOOD hold music? Good hold music has squirrels mentioned in it. This is how you do hold music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgKocsYhTc8

By: Steven Finch

Steven Finch — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:55:51 +0000

Some of these are just terrible. Why dont they just use music from http://routenote.com as hold music??

By: Jorge Alberto

Jorge Alberto — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:05:15 +0000

I wonder if this is why we descend from the trees and started walking on its hind legs.

By: Camille Cheney

Camille Cheney — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 20:44:14 +0000

# 10 is way worse than FreeConferenceCall.com at #2. To the person who has written thier own lyrics…would love to hear those! If you want to hear #2 hold music to dance check you FreeConferenceCall.com on YouTube for some dancing entertainment.

By: Who's the boss

Who's the boss — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:46:27 +0000

Here is number 10′s origin

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Whos_The_Boss.html

By: sian

sian — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 04:44:17 +0000

number 7
horrible horrible horrible

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 03:10:53 +0000

While #11 is bad, #3 could lead to insanity if listened to for too long. However, #2 is pretty funny I must admit.

By: Bryon

Bryon — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 01:40:34 +0000

HATE #s 3 and 7. They make me go a little crazy in only a few seconds. Why would a company do that to its customers!?!

By: Ria

Ria — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:55:04 +0000

#7 is my fav. That horn farting in my ear really makes me forget about being on hold… for an extra minute or so.

By: Katsavegan

Katsavegan — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:42:29 +0000

Oh jesus. #7 is so awful. #8 is bad too, but god, #7 is soo terrible.

By: ttc

ttc — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 22:08:34 +0000

#6 might be Progressive.

In any case, hold music that doesn’t make me want to throw myself through a window is a rare thing!

By: carriep

carriep — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:53:15 +0000

#7 will make people the most psychotic, I think.

By: ilikedginger

ilikedginger — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 19:38:54 +0000

#6, absolutely, brings me back really bad memories of my old job.

However! My least favorite of all time is a tie between those who use ice cream truck music (I used to have to call car dealerships and this existed) and this other dealership who used a 30 second clip from New Radical’s “You Get What You Give”. A particularly terrible dealership and now that song gives me a ragestroke every time I hear it.

By: estevan carlos benson

estevan carlos benson — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 19:08:23 +0000

I’m playing all at the same time. It’s much better.

By: gelan

gelan — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:24:04 +0000

I see that a lot of people actually did voluntarily listen to bad hold music to rate it, but come on…

By: VICKI

VICKI — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:06:13 +0000

Number 3 gets my vote! Pretty sure it caused me to have a seizure, much like the “Mary Hart Effect” on TV. They all bring back horrible memories. Considering recording them on my answering machine for the benefit of telemarketers. It would be fun to hook these tunes up to one’s doorbell with an outdoor speaker…driving away those annoying people selling products and religion.

By: Victoria

Victoria — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 12:52:32 +0000

I have a soft spot in my heart for number 2. One day, while waiting for a conference call to start, I put it on speakerphone to share the atrociousness with my colleagues. One of them immediately launched into a hilarious Barry White impersonation to accompany this soft porn soundtrack: “Aaaww yeeeah. . . your call is VERY important to me, baby. You just hold on now. I’ll be with you VERY soon. Yeeeeeaaahhh. That’s right.”

It was pretty hard to stop giggling when my client finally got on the call.

By: Martinez

Martinez — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 12:20:30 +0000

Oh boy, oh boy! All of them are terrible pieces of “music”…delete’em for ever….

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 05:00:50 +0000

This is a very clever piece. I love it.
I hate every one, but mostly 10 and 11.

By: Horatio

Horatio — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 05:00:35 +0000

We use #1 at my work. I think it’s the default for the phone system honestly. We also, for at least 3 years straight, have kept our average answer time solidly under 30 seconds.

By: 4midori

4midori — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:08:42 +0000

Brilliant! I hate hold music. Also, check out drug stores for the worst in muzak!

By: pyrit

pyrit — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:26:16 +0000

Next time, try re-dialing the number but change the last digit to the next number. So, if the last digit is 5, dial 6. Large companies have blocks of phone numbers, sometimes successive.
If you don’t want to hear the movie theater’s recording, dial up (or down) a digit and the manager might answer. And then you can ask him to check lost & found for your cell phone.
Works with US Gov’t. offices and lots of other places.
Sometimes they say, how did you get this number? Oops, did I misdial?! Oh while I have you on the phone…

By: mike L

mike L — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:25:12 +0000

#2 has to be the worst, its so loud and annoying.

By: Idil

Idil — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:01:49 +0000

Haha I hate to say this but I actually really like #6

By: Sharon Elin

Sharon Elin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:57:22 +0000

The recordings you captured actually sound great compared to those I usually hear. Imagine these same insipid compositions sounding warped and battered like they’re playing under water or like someone’s holding their thumb on a tape! Does the company who uses these ever check the condition of their recording?

By: Prairie Dog

Prairie Dog — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:47:56 +0000

I don’t care to check if it’s still there, but my vote is for the tech support hold music for Western Digital. It sounded like they looped a 20 second music snippet, and not a good one.

By: Leisa

Leisa — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 22:15:37 +0000

The fact that #3 cuts off early, screwing up the rhythm, is totally unforgiveable.

By: pwscott

pwscott — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 21:51:53 +0000

I’m sure the Georia Dept. of Revenue has employed one of these. Please hold your expected wait time is 40 minutes.

By: codeman38

codeman38 — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 21:20:11 +0000

@rasqual: Wow. That starts off pretty decent, and then goes off into completely weird territory very quickly. And it makes the chord progression in #5 seem perfectly reasonable. I also love the random inexplicable “vroom” bass sounds scattered throughout with no rhyme or reason.

By: rasqual

rasqual — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:51:54 +0000

http://marquardts.org/wordpress/?p=13

We’ve since changed it.

You hafta listen to at least the 50 second point to appreciate the lunacy of this.

Bonus points for anyone who can survive to 1:30 without going stark raving bonkers, and serious awards to anyone getting through the inexplicability of 2:41 to 2:50. And that’s just the beginning.

By: Biogirl

Biogirl — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:47:55 +0000

Wow, those are all terrible. I’d say #3 is the worst, just because of the complete lack of attention paid by the person (sadist?) who looped it.

By: Reid

Reid — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:11:35 +0000

#6 is used by Xerox’s service department.

By: mjgolli

mjgolli — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:02:06 +0000

Some of these are probably telecom system provided “royalty-free” music. The on-hold music that was provided by Nortel on my company’s Option 11c switches was crap … didn’t hear it on the list, tho.

I replaced that shizzle with an MP3 player of great stuff. That is, of course, not necessarily “royalty-free”. ;D

The lady in loop 1 also does the voice for the speech files of the Asterisk open-source PBX system. They also have some pretty generic “royalty-free” music by default.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:54:56 +0000

Its between 3 and 10. The bad loop timing will surely drive you insane, but the style of music in 10 will have you looking for pink and purple tights and the big hair spray.

By: Jon G

Jon G — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:51:53 +0000

#7. Definitely #7. I had to laugh, it’s so bad.

By: Bryan

Bryan — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:50:19 +0000

#3 is the worst *BY FAR*.

#8 and #11 also *really* suck.

By: Dan B

Dan B — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:26:21 +0000

One of the local ISPs here always used Jeff Foxworthy’s cd of redneck jokes. While it was different, it got old pretty quick when you were on the line for support.

By: Bud

Bud — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 18:26:13 +0000

I laughed out loud at a couple in the last half of the list.

I would add to this torture (possible future article alert) some bad waiting room office ‘muzak’ I have had to endure. At least official Muzak (TM) is often full songs run through sappy string arrangements, or better.

My Doctors wife runs a bit wholistic in her choices for office decor and music which she chooses, and there is this odd new age cross of Tin Drum Jimmy Buffet ala John Tesh minimalism that is quite maddening, which the scented candles she prefers (what about allergy patients?) only makes worse.