Comments on: A Screw-In Coffin

By: sue fosti

sue fosti — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 14:50:17 +0000

The advert is quite interesting, but some of the comments are truly hilarious. Thanks for making my day!

By: the fool

the fool — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:34:50 +0000

For some reason, I found myself thinking of its feasibility as an apparatus for skydivers whose parachutes don’t open.

By: TDW

TDW — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:27:53 +0000

“You spin me right round
baby right round
Like a record baby
right round
round round”

–Dead or Alive

(no pun intended)

By: Torben BoP

Torben BoP — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:39:26 +0000

“Screw you, Mother in law” gets a whole new meaning.

By: Foodie

Foodie — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:32:03 +0000

If you screw the coffin in so that the top is the usual 6-feet under the surface, there would be a good chance of hitting water somewhere. But that’s OK, the plastic coffin will make a dandy little boat.
‘I’m on a boat …’

By: tigergal39

tigergal39 — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:23:23 +0000

I think this is a good idea, you could get many more in your family plot.

And if you both are in clear plastic, you can spend eternity with your finger just inches from your brother saying “I’m not touching you”!

By: Timothy Totten

Timothy Totten — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:17:03 +0000

It’s an interesting exercise in design which brings attention to the issue of burial space requirements while ignoring the fact that several upright burial schemes are already being marketed to the industry.
In fact, the past few National Funeral Director Association Expos have featured a company that already sells an upright casket.
From a practical viewpoint, how would you get it to the cemetery from the funeral? A gigantic “nut” trailer?

By: Croolis

Croolis — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:11:13 +0000

the stiff in the coffin must be a bit shorter than the guys rotating it into the ground .. see, they’re slightly bent from the effort and still their heads are higher than the top of the scroffin (is that what it’s called?) .. and the base of the device is too narrow for feet to go in in a dignified way, so i’d guess the occupant goes in head down?

By: Elagie

Elagie — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 03:42:04 +0000

Timm, That was my thought exactly — here in Connecticut it’s impossible to dig more than two inches in any direction without hitting enough rocks to seriously scratch up a plastic coffin and granite ledge is usually not far beneath — you’d need well-digging machinery before you’d get a vertical coffin into the ground.

By: Max Power

Max Power — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:15:55 +0000

swissonian, I just spilled tea all over my desk from laughing. XD

By: Timm

Timm — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:49:19 +0000

Let’s hope there are no big rocks in the way of this thing as it is screwed in.

I can see a crew of men having to try 7 different spots before they find one that wouldn’t have something in the way of the coffin as it is screwed into the ground.

By: swissonian

swissonian — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:26:39 +0000

I´ll bet with this new method the people will be turning in their graves ^^

By: fyngyrz

fyngyrz — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:07:36 +0000

This would being a whole new meaning to the phrase “You’re screwed.”

By: swissonian

swissonian — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:02:52 +0000

Somehow it might be funny watching the recently deceased spinning with 2500rpm if you are playing the right music along with it.

By: health

health — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 22:55:02 +0000

If you bury me encased in plastic, I will so haunt your ass.

By: NorwegianBlue

NorwegianBlue — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 22:13:45 +0000

Vertical burials are certainly nothing new. But I don’t see that using human force as a method of internent would work with this device. Screwing a big tapered screw like that into the ground would take a hunge amount of torque. The earth would need to be compressed sideways as the screw dug it’s way down and if the burial were adjacent to other coffins the space in which to compress the earth would be limited. Better to dig a hole using an auger attachment on a backhoe and simply slide an unthreaded coffin into place.

This is an over complicated solution to a problem, but then you couldn’t patent the method of digging a deep narrow hole with something like an auger and dropping in a traditional casket.

Also there is the matter of decomposition. Many religions have a tradition of returning the earthly remains to the earth. Encasing the cadaver in plastic means that this is going to take a very, very long time to happen.

By: Minnesotastan

Minnesotastan — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:48:34 +0000

Molly, the link indicates that the “standard” version would be made of opaque metal.

By: AntDude

AntDude — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:46:36 +0000

Molly, the clear version is just a possible variation on the basic idea. I doubt many would spring for it.

In any case, I was just going to say that I don’t think this is any more or less unusual than burying our dead in the first place.

By: Molly M

Molly M — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:50:55 +0000

That seemed pretty cool…up until I read that it’s completely clear and you can SEE the body inside. That part is just creepy. To see it spinning around as it’s drilled into the earth would remind me of…well…those spinning dessert cases they have in diners, only with a dead person inside.

If they could figure out a way to make it so that a fairly normal looking casket could be placed into the middle of a giant screw and buried upright, I’d be a little more on board.