A Screw-In Coffin

By Minnesotastan in Everything Else, Gadgets, Hacks & Mods on Feb 7, 2010 at 3:33 pm


A patent has been issued for this device, which would conserve space in burial grounds.  The inventor even envisions a transparent variety:

“A clear plastic Easy Inter Burial Container, where the body is additionally encased in clear resin and is standing erect for all to view during installation, creates a very impressive image.”

The screwing-into-the-ground would be performed either by humans or by an adaptation on a tractor backhoe.

Link, via.


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  1. Molly M
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    That seemed pretty cool...up until I read that it's completely clear and you can SEE the body inside. That part is just creepy. To see it spinning around as it's drilled into the earth would remind me of...well...those spinning dessert cases they have in diners, only with a dead person inside.

    If they could figure out a way to make it so that a fairly normal looking casket could be placed into the middle of a giant screw and buried upright, I'd be a little more on board.

  2. AntDude
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Molly, the clear version is just a possible variation on the basic idea. I doubt many would spring for it.

    In any case, I was just going to say that I don't think this is any more or less unusual than burying our dead in the first place.

  3. Minnesotastan
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Molly, the link indicates that the "standard" version would be made of opaque metal.

  4. NorwegianBlue
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Vertical burials are certainly nothing new. But I don't see that using human force as a method of internent would work with this device. Screwing a big tapered screw like that into the ground would take a hunge amount of torque. The earth would need to be compressed sideways as the screw dug it's way down and if the burial were adjacent to other coffins the space in which to compress the earth would be limited. Better to dig a hole using an auger attachment on a backhoe and simply slide an unthreaded coffin into place.

    This is an over complicated solution to a problem, but then you couldn't patent the method of digging a deep narrow hole with something like an auger and dropping in a traditional casket.

    Also there is the matter of decomposition. Many religions have a tradition of returning the earthly remains to the earth. Encasing the cadaver in plastic means that this is going to take a very, very long time to happen.

  5. health
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    If you bury me encased in plastic, I will so haunt your ass.

  6. swissonian
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    Somehow it might be funny watching the recently deceased spinning with 2500rpm if you are playing the right music along with it.

  7. fyngyrz
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    This would being a whole new meaning to the phrase "You're screwed."

  8. swissonian
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    I´ll bet with this new method the people will be turning in their graves ^^

  9. Timm
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Let's hope there are no big rocks in the way of this thing as it is screwed in.

    I can see a crew of men having to try 7 different spots before they find one that wouldn't have something in the way of the coffin as it is screwed into the ground.

  10. Max Power
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    swissonian, I just spilled tea all over my desk from laughing. XD

  11. Elagie
    Feb 7th, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    Timm, That was my thought exactly -- here in Connecticut it's impossible to dig more than two inches in any direction without hitting enough rocks to seriously scratch up a plastic coffin and granite ledge is usually not far beneath -- you'd need well-digging machinery before you'd get a vertical coffin into the ground.

  12. Croolis
    Feb 8th, 2010 at 4:11 am

    the stiff in the coffin must be a bit shorter than the guys rotating it into the ground .. see, they're slightly bent from the effort and still their heads are higher than the top of the scroffin (is that what it's called?) .. and the base of the device is too narrow for feet to go in in a dignified way, so i'd guess the occupant goes in head down?

  13. Timothy Totten
    Feb 8th, 2010 at 10:17 am

    It's an interesting exercise in design which brings attention to the issue of burial space requirements while ignoring the fact that several upright burial schemes are already being marketed to the industry.
    In fact, the past few National Funeral Director Association Expos have featured a company that already sells an upright casket.
    From a practical viewpoint, how would you get it to the cemetery from the funeral? A gigantic "nut" trailer?

  14. tigergal39
    Feb 8th, 2010 at 10:23 am

    I think this is a good idea, you could get many more in your family plot.

    And if you both are in clear plastic, you can spend eternity with your finger just inches from your brother saying "I'm not touching you"!

  15. Foodie
    Feb 8th, 2010 at 10:32 am

    If you screw the coffin in so that the top is the usual 6-feet under the surface, there would be a good chance of hitting water somewhere. But that's OK, the plastic coffin will make a dandy little boat.
    'I'm on a boat ...'

  16. Torben BoP
    Feb 8th, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    "Screw you, Mother in law" gets a whole new meaning.

  17. TDW
    Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:27 am

    "You spin me right round
    baby right round
    Like a record baby
    right round
    round round"

    --Dead or Alive

    (no pun intended)

  18. the fool
    Feb 28th, 2010 at 8:34 am

    For some reason, I found myself thinking of its feasibility as an apparatus for skydivers whose parachutes don't open.

  19. sue fosti
    Aug 21st, 2010 at 7:50 am

    The advert is quite interesting, but some of the comments are truly hilarious. Thanks for making my day!

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