Call me, but not on Skype!

By Miss Cellania in Gadgets, Hacks & Mods on Jan 10, 2010 at 8:09 am

We looked forward to the promise of video phone calls for fifty years, but now that they are here, no one wants to actually use them. The hassle of dressing up or cleaning the room for a phone call only explains part of it. Joel Stein captures the exact reason why video phone calls never caught on, despite the availability of Skype.

…Skype breaks the century-old social contract of the phone: we pay close attention while we’re talking and zone out while you are.

As soon as you begin to talk, I feel trapped and desperately scan the room for tasks I can do to justify the enormous waste of time that is your talking. I wash dishes, I file receipts, I read news sites, I make little fake suicide faces to my wife Cassandra about how much I want to hang up that cause her to yell “Joel, I need you now” in a really unconvincing way that I’ve asked her not to do, but I still can’t stop making the suicide faces. In desperate times, when I am on my cell phone in the middle of nowhere, I will pace. The only other time I pace is when I stub a toe or burn myself. But when I start talking, I assume that you are sitting perfectly still, rapt.

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(image credit: John Ueland/TIME)


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  1. Elagie
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 9:47 am

    I have to agree that Skype can be pressure-making (before a scheduled call, I keep adjusting the angle and lighting to make sure I don’t look awful!) and I would never use it for day to day calls — but I have to say it’s been nice to have (especially for my daughter) since my son enlisted (ACK!) It was especially nice to be able to see him when he was in Iraq to reassure ourselves that he was unscathed and in one piece!

  2. Mah
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 10:00 am

    Oh, thank God someone said that.

    Not to mention the awkward feeling that the conversation will never end. I mean, on the phone, you’re being billed, there’s a limit somewhere. But one the internet, specially on free video skype, you’re trapped. There’s no excuse to go anywhere or do anything else. And trust me, we need that, not because we hate our friends or family or whatever. Even when you’re talking to someone you really miss and want to see, sometimes it’s like hanging out but neither of you can move or zone out watching tv. You have to keep staring at each other. All the time.

    Awkward.

  3. C
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 11:16 am

    This is so true! I get lots of chores done when I’m on the phone and I can’t stand being stuck in one place so as not to appear rude.

    Not to mention If I just woke up and look lousy the last thing I want to do is let you see me.

    This option is great sometimes, others it’s just a pain in the butt.

  4. uh huh
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 11:33 am

    david foster wallace already wrote about this in infinite jest.

  5. didrooglie
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Yes! My phone experience exactly.

  6. jazz on your face (female)
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    living over seas and this being the only way to talk to the ones I love back home it’s really convenient but once I move back skyping will be at a minimum.

  7. GrouchieGrumbles
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    None of my friends have cameras hooked to their computers. I don’t and I don’t necessarily want to spend the money for one that wouldnt be jittery anyway.

  8. GailW
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    I hate talking on the phone anyway, so this is hilarious to me. :)

  9. Skipweasel
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    I use Skype sometimes, but text only.

    Does anyone else find it slows their computer down a lot? I’m not talking about something underpower, either.

  10. c0ldfish
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    uh huh is totally right

    if you want to read a brilliant but long winded 1000 page book about tennis and drugs, you can read infinite jest, in which david foster wallace predicts this and describes this in an uncanny manner.

    some people say it’s the best american book. praise like that.

  11. Kalel
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    I have a marvelous phone voice that is rich, sincere, professional… and just a bit sexy. However, since I work mostly from home, I often look as if I’ve been sleeping under a bridge.

  12. AntDude
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Good thing I don’t use Skype, webcams, etc. ;)

  13. ted
    Jan 10th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    I’ve never done that. I imagine a lot of kids are using it for phone sex.

  14. Justin
    Jan 11th, 2010 at 1:16 am

    I thought I was the only one who felt that web cams made things freaking awkward!

    Talking on the phone, chatting online, and talking to people in person is 10x more comfortable than video calls! And I don’t think it has anything to do with someone zoning out and wanting to do something else.

  15. Chris Johnston
    Jan 11th, 2010 at 6:12 am

    I live in Los Angeles, and I made a friend in Second Life (over the voice chat) who lives in the Netherlands.
    I’d never used Skype before, but the first time I called him he took his laptop and, thanks to the wonders of WiFi, gave me a full tour of the little shop that he owns, including the street out front and the displays out in the back yard. Then he did the same when he Skyped from home later. That sold me, and we’ve been Skyping ever since.
    Of course, he’s the ONLY person I’ve been able to Skype with!
    Everybody else just ignores me when I suggest it.

  16. Melissa
    Jan 11th, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    I think Skype would be fun for planned calls, but lousy for unplanned calls. I don’t want to be seen when I’m not looking up to par (or have to see others when they aren’t).

    If I had a friend or family member that lived far away that I was unable to see in person very regularly, I could see arranging to have a Skype chat would be nicer than just a phone call.

    And I could see it being helpful for me when I wanted to have an important talk with someone I couldn’t be with in person. Sometimes I have a hard time really understanding people over the phone with no non-verbal cues to go with their words. “I’m fine” could mean “I’m fine” or “Actually, I’m terrible and want to talk about it but don’t want to impose on you.”. For most conversations, and conversations with people I see often, that’s okay. But sometimes being able to look at the person I’m talking to might be a big help. Telling your sister who lives across the country you’re expecting a baby would be extra cool if you could see the look on her face when she hears the news.

    However, most calls just aren’t that important or interesting. I don’t need or care to see you or have you see me when you’re just calling to say you’re going to be home late or want me to bring home a loaf of bread.

  17. gerrycody
    Jan 11th, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    I did not realize that others hated the phone as much as I do. Your description is uncanny. It’s only for certain people though, I’ve trained most people not to call me.


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