Town Gets A Safe Tree

By Miss Cellania in Christmas on Nov 27, 2009 at 11:06 am

It’s not exactly what people think of as a Christmas tree. The town of Poole, Dorset, England has a municipal Christmas tree that falls in line with Britain’s stringent health and safety guidelines, which try to avoid all possible risks, no matter how remote.

Thus it has no trunk so it won’t blow over, no branches to break off and land on someone’s head, no pine needles to poke a passer-by in the eye, no decorations for drunken teenagers to steal and no angel, presumably because it would need a dangerously long ladder to place it at the top.

Last year Poole boasted a Norwegian fir draped with strings of coloured lights. It cost £500 and continued a decades-old tradition. The replacement, which is constructed on a metal frame overlaid with what appears to be artificial grass, cost £14,000 and comes with built-in fairy lights and hidden speakers to play Christmas tunes that will put shoppers in the festive mood. But the only mood apparent among shoppers who saw the tree yesterday was a bad one.

Citizens compared the tree to a wizard’s hat and a traffic cone. Link

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Skipweasel
Nov 27th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Actually, our Health and Safety rules are only stringent when applied by jobsworths. Most of us get along fine and don’t have to put up with this sort of silliness.
Gauldar
Nov 27th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Make an idiot proof safety tree, and an idiot will find a way to get himself killed by it.
Miss Cellania
Nov 27th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Whats a jobsworth?
Manticore
Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I put on my robe and wizard hat…
Foreigner1
Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I see it coming that in some years they will replace all the natural trees with enviromentally friendly steel structures with added padding, big flashlights and anti-climbing barriers and big signs with very long lists to warn the passerby of possible dangers like “taking a bite out of this structure can cause bodily harm” and “reading this sign can lead to utter madness”
felixthecat
Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
It is still too dangerous. If they were serious about this they would have an image of a tree projected onto a semi-transparent onion skin tarp hanging on a wall.
Jake
Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
@Miss Cellania
it’s more than my job’s worth to let you know that!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jobsworth

basically it’s a term for bureaucrats
Miss Cellania
Nov 27th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Ah! That makes sense. Thanks!
pwscott
Nov 27th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Astroturf tree? At least pelt it with paintballs to give it “colour”. :p
tipple
Nov 27th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
What about making it of reindeer pelts & providing hallucinogenic mushroom punch along with hairy straws?
Lea
Nov 27th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
*Bangs head on felixthecat’s tree projected on a wall*

I in general hate Christmas but this still saddens me.
anon1
Nov 28th, 2009 at 10:21 am
This looks like one of those aluminum trees from the tree lot in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

The appropriate replacement would be a pitiful bent-over pine sprig mounted on a pair of 2x4s with a single ornament.
Sinnyo
Nov 28th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I’d just like to echo Skipweasel’s comment. “Stringent health and safety guidelines” my foot – it’s just a single council pandering to a nonsense.
jm1656
Nov 28th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
a perfect liberal’s holiday tree.
Frink
Dec 8th, 2009 at 7:28 am
There was a PR flak from the shopping centre concerned on BBC Radio 4 yesterday saying that this “tree” had had to be replaced with a real tree due the fake one having been vandalized

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