A Bank Robber Nicknamed “Shrek”

By Alex in Comics & Cartoons, Crime & Law on Nov 19, 2009 at 6:43 pm

“Ears” something unfortunate for bank robber David Holyoak of Manchester, England: his distinctive feature made it really easy for the police to identify and locate him!

As Holyoak, of Whitefield, Manchester, began a three-and-a-half year jail sentence for robbery yesterday, one officer said: ‘This man only needs to look at himself in the mirror to realise crime is not for him.

‘With his big ears and rotund features he stands out a mile, and the officers have no trouble spotting him. He must be a total liability when he is part of a gang.

‘He has already been dubbed Shrek and must be one of the ugliest robbers in the country.’

Link

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2Tone
Nov 19th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Looks more like the youngest kid from Malcom in the Middle grown up and gone bad.
pwscott
Nov 19th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
You think he would hear the cops coming. :p
theturbolemming
Nov 19th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Awww. That last bit is so mean. He already got arrested, no need to make fun of him for something he can’t control..
helimx
Nov 20th, 2009 at 12:43 am
oh shut it theturbolemming, it’s not like he’s some productive member of society. or has some affliction that keeps him from being able to be productive. he’s just a goofy looking, no good criminal. don’t be so thin skinned.
sc0tty
Nov 20th, 2009 at 3:11 am
Probably had no chance of running away with the drag caused by those.

But it would be a totally awesome chase scene if he made to a the rooftop of a skyscraper with cops right on his tail, leaped off the side, and his ears acted as parachutes, landing safely out of reach.
sc0tty
Nov 20th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Pardon my grammar:(
ted
Nov 20th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Yes, let’s make fun of his ears. That will help reform him.
felixthecat
Nov 20th, 2009 at 8:58 am
That comment is indeed mean. Probably his whole life people have been laughing at him.
pyrit
Nov 20th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Now, now, no trolls! This is about ogres!
Jenna
Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:29 am
^related is via our local paper’s ‘Felony Arrests’ link
CapnMarrrrk
Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Gosh, people are generally unimaginative. What? So he’s got big ears, that makes him Shrek? No. Now Maurice Tillet…HE looks like Shrek. In fact, I hear Shrek was based on him. http://is.gd/4ZHqp
sc0tty
Nov 21st, 2009 at 3:51 am
He’s obviously proud of them, cutting his hair so short only makes them more pronounced.
me and you
Nov 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 am
You wanna see his brothers ears! its like looking at a Big Mac, seriously though hes had the ears jibe all his life it really doesnt bother him and it also gives the ladies something to peddle when he is guessing there weight

ps, He looks nothing like Shrek and has never been called that by anyone he knows, Roland Rat is a diff matter though!

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