Top 10 Reasons Why the World Won’t End in 2012

11. Elvis and the aliens return to steal our water. :^P

this whole 2012 thing drives me nuts. human beings tend to personalize everything and so of course people expect now, as many have throughout history, that although the earth has been relatively stable for the past couple dozen million years that it will be entirely destroyed within our lifetime – approximately 80 years. those numbers make no sense, common sense or otherwise. it’s statistically moronic and juvenile, and essentially, just an extension of people’s basic fear of dying. “but the mayans predicted it and so did nostradamus!” or whatever. who cares. the mayans can eat me. remember how they got their butts kicked by some imperialist euro-trash? (or was that the aztecs? regardless – they’re super dead) nostradamus was lame, people infer whatever they want into vague (super vague) and trite poems of grandiose nonsense. i can’t believe people are fussing, or even simply thinking about buying movie tickets, over this apocalyptic theory/film. remember Y2K? that was only 9 years ago. 9 years later and you’re doing this again. it’s like when somebody falls for the same trick twice in the same day. get off it. the world isn’t going to end, you are simply going to live out a very mundane life and then die, which is a lot worse – i’m going to write a book about that btw. the article about failed doomsday cults on this very website should give major insight into the common tendency for people to subscribe to weak stuff of this sort. if the world ends in 2012 i’ll pay everybody a bazillion dollars, and bazillion isn’t a real number, but it doesn’t matter cause it’s a worthless wager on a meaningless example of mainstream human idiocy. maybe i’m just pissy cause my ex-girlfriend left me for the author of the book 2012, i dunno, but he seems like a good guy, so i think my bias is decent. lemon out.

I always groan when someone posts a lengthy, narcissistic rant that nobody can care enough to read all the way through.

sorry ted.

tl;dr

i’m planning on going on a picnic in early 2013.

Article could use some editing; Betelgeuse won’t go supernova for at least 10,000 years, and some estimates go as high as 100,000. In any event, it’s too far away to matter. Not that I expect ‘stellar’ scientific accuracy from Discovery.

My prediction is, the world ends right after I *finally* find a decent job.

Rt

Why my second comment wasn’t here?ek