Which Browser Would You Marry?

Posted by Johnny Cat in Blog & Internet, Funny on November 6, 2009 at 1:31 pm


Picture1With the advent of competing browsers came some fierce loyalty to one brand or another.  Some people would go as far to say they “love” their browser of choice.  That got Grace Smith thinking.  If you had to marry a web browser, which one would it be, and why? She put the question to her Twitter followers, and got many responses.  Some examples:

I’d marry Firefox, but I’d like her to lose some weight and stop complaining when I accidentally call her Google Chrome.

I imagine I would start by dating Firefox, but come to realize she is high maintenance and run off with Safari.

It would have to be Opera, still barely touched and very innocent but with some great hidden features.

Netscape is my MILF!

I would marry FireFox, but every once in a while have a fling with Safari (For the looks) & Chrome (For the performance).

Can’t say which one i’d marry but I’d divorce IE6 in a second.

IE makes promises it doesn’t keep.Safari is unpredictable and incompatible. Firefox hogs the resources. I think I’d be single.

Firefox, though I have to admit, I’ve had several affairs with Safari. *shamefaced* But I’ll always come back to you, Firefox!

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18 comments to "Which Browser Would You Marry?"

  1. R.
    November 6th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Too bad the responses are all so sexist...

  2. dply
    November 6th, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I'd marry Chrome just for the google money.

  3. pwscott
    November 6th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Yes Netscape would still love me like always. Giving me just what I need and letting me roam around. Ah so simple life.

  4. sise
    November 6th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    I'd marry firefox... but only if it promised to wear it's pimpzilla theme for me every once in a while :D

  5. danny
    November 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I would marry Opera, because it is simple to use, elegant, and always here for me.

  6. Manticore
    November 6th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Operaaaaa *hugs*

  7. Zavatone
    November 6th, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    "Netscape is my MILF". That is too funny. You made me lol.

  8. s3xt0y
    November 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    they all suck except opera.

  9. Shannon
    November 6th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    FMK is a better question...
    F*ck Chrome, Marry Firefox, Kill IE.

  10. Shannon
    November 6th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    Wait no, swap Chrome and Firefox I think.

  11. buddhaflow
    November 6th, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    I gotta throw my hat in with Opera too. We're officially hitched, I think. It's been my favorite for ten years, ever since 3.0.

    Shit, they INVENTED both tabbed browsing and the search box in the upper right, along with a bunch of other things you take for granted in whatever browser you use!

    I'm actually using FF right now, because I find it runs the best on Linux, and plugins are amazingy powerful and unparalleled on any other browser. But, most of the time you don't need all these fancy plugins - and Opera comes with the functionality of about ten FF plugins built-in, which is SO convenient if you have to change computers a lot (ie, cyber cafes etc.) I've installed it at least 100 times over the last year...

  12. buddhaflow
    November 6th, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    One feature of Opera I find indispensable is "keyword searching" - type a keyword or letter followed by a phrase in the address bar, and it will search for it. ie: "w bacon" searches wikipedia for bacon, "z bacon" searches amazon, etc. You can easily custom configure this too-I put "i" as google image search and "v" as Youtube search.

    So, I'm an English teacher, and when I want an image in a hurry in a classroom full of little kids, I just type "i bacon" and within less than a second from when I put my hands on the keyboard I have a screen full of dripping, oozing bacon.

  13. AntDude
    November 6th, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    I'd marry Lynx. [grin]

  14. Moon
    November 6th, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    If you like it so much, why don't you marry it?

  15. JustinButNotTHATJustin
    November 7th, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Maxthon was my baby until I had to update and didn't bother. Chrome hasn't been playing nice.

  16. Video Game Dork
    November 7th, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    Stats show IE is the 2nd most used browser (after Firefox), and yet no one seems to want to admit it? lol. There could be a parallel there with marriage...

  17. Tonga
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:32 am

    Marry who you want, but don't invite responder 17, who is a slimy, lame,and unwelcome spammer.
    Please delete me if/when I'm ever noticed...

  18. Tonga
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    So, the spammer is removed, making me a self-hater. Oh well, I must deserve it. Bastard me.


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