If you want to ensure your pet animal lives as long and happy as possible after you die, bequeath it to a random middle-class family with kids on craigslist. It will eat cheap dog food, yet feel like a prince at the center of the universe until the end of its days.

BUT…

If you want your dog to get assassinated or otherwise end up as the centerpiece of some shadowy intrigue, why don’t you bequeath it millions of dollars that will otherwise wind up in the hands of the shrewdest player.

No one will think twice about offing your beloved pooch if they think they have a slim chance of getting so much as a couple hundred bucks out of it, much less millions. Shit, there are people lining around the block up to shoot the millionaire dog out of nothing but spite and envy.

If you believe in reincarnation…now would be a good time to hope you’ll come back as a wealthy pooch or cat.