Your Butt is Killing the Rainforest

Posted by Alex in Home & Garden on February 26, 2009 at 4:39 pm


Here’s something for you to ponder the next time you’re in the bathroom: American’s love for soft toilet paper is ecologically hard on forests!

… fluffiness comes at a price: millions of trees harvested in North America and in Latin American countries, including some percentage of trees from rare old-growth forests in Canada. Although toilet tissue can be made at similar cost from recycled material, it is the fiber taken from standing trees that help give it that plush feel, and most large manufacturers rely on them.

Customers “demand soft and comfortable,” said James Malone, a spokesman for Georgia Pacific, the maker of Quilted Northern. “Recycled fiber cannot do it.” [...]

Though most of the pulp comes from tree farms, but not all:

Although brands differ, 25 percent to 50 percent of the pulp used to make toilet paper in this country comes from tree farms in South America and the United States. The rest, environmental groups say, comes mostly from old, second-growth forests that serve as important absorbers of carbon dioxide, the main heat-trapping gas linked to global warming. In addition, some of the pulp comes from the last virgin North American forests, which are an irreplaceable habitat for a variety of endangered species, environmental groups say.

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38 comments to "Your Butt is Killing the Rainforest"

  1. mikerm19
    February 26th, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    Not this environmental crap again. Ugh. I don't even want to go into why it's really not that big of a deal.

    That said, I buy cheap tp. It's usually not that comfortable, but I don't really care.

  2. LisaL
    February 26th, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    If you wanna rub sandpaper over your no-no bits, more power to ya, but this gal likes her soft fluffy tp!

  3. Peter Forever
    February 26th, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Toilet Paper for my ass but for which price ? Global warming is a real problem, even in our toilets ^^ WELL PLEASE DO NOT GO TO TOILET
    A SIMPLE LIFE IS POSSIBLE, UNCOMFORTABLE BUT ECOFRIENDLY

    Lol

  4. coalitionforspace
    February 26th, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Might be time to try a more European solution.

  5. Goober
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Of course this is all a crock of shit. Virtually all paper, toilet and otherwise, is made from trees that would never have been planted except as a crop to be harvested for paper production.

    There are more acres of forest in North America today than there were before the white man arrived 500 years ago.

  6. Toy LaRocca
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    As with everything on the internet, it's the greedy, selfish Americans fault. The more educated peoples of every other continent use the more environmentally friendly corn cobs - getting three or four uses per cob.

  7. Marissa
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    Seventh Generation has a super soft 100% recycled toilet paper: http://www.seventhgeneration.com/Recycled-Toilet-Paper. It's really not that hard to save the planet, is it? Change your TP and invest in a bidet - get clean and get green.

  8. vonskippy
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    My butt just called the Blackberry girl and told her we really don't care what happens to the rainforest as long as our TP is soft.

    //damn tv commercials, now my butt knows it can make calls on purpose.

  9. Moon
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    I'm calling crap on this t.p. story.

    "..including some percentage of trees from rare old-growth forests in Canada."??? What percentage?? .00001??

    Tree farms in South America and the United States specifically grow trees (fast growth trees, BTW) for producing this.

    It doesn't help if you go overboard on the reporting, enviro-reporters. There's enough stories about environmental damage without going nuts about it.

  10. Christophe
    February 26th, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Oy vey, everybody!

  11. Evilbeagle
    February 26th, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    I think everyone already called crap on this story so I don't have to do it myself. Sorry, but no alarmist idiocy is going to guilt me into using an equivalent to sandpaper on my butt. Especially given that toilet paper comes from trees that are planted for that purpose.

    And some of us Americans use both paper and bidet.

  12. liltrix
    February 26th, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    who posted this crap... neatorama is not a place for this rubbish... its obviously not real, and people need to do some research! what happened to neatorama? i thought this was a place where bullsh*t stories like this don't surface

  13. Alex
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Awe you guys are punny (and cranky!)

  14. Johnny Cat
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    The 3-seashells method is the best way to go. Recyclable and once you master it, rather nice.

  15. SenorMysterioso
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    wait... paper is made from trees?

  16. scot
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    This is like the idiots who think that buying a living Christmas tree is helping save the environment. THEY'RE GROWN ON FARMS TO BE HARVESTED YOU IDIOTS.

  17. will shetterly
    February 26th, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Just for the record, good post. It's hardly as if the New York Times is some wild greenie newspaper.

  18. Sean McKenna
    February 26th, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    So sorry mr. gore, but if it's my arse versus the planet, I'm going to have to go with my arse. The planet will just have to make due.

    You soft headed little gits can spew all the eco-agitprop you want, but keep your d@mned grubby hands off my toilet paper, climate controls and food stuffs. I'm not interested in being proselyted by a bunch of gaia worshiping Ecohovah's Witnesses.

  19. agent0range
    February 26th, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    just use soap and water much much better and cleaner
    toilet paper doesnt totally clean ur ass

  20. fnord
    February 26th, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Good lord, the above posters might need to consider upping their meds. Might be an idea to get reading glasses as well, since none of them apparently read the article which addresses every asinine point they tried to make.

  21. LaraAtHome
    February 26th, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    One thing this post proves: people are very possessive of their TP. Take away at your own risk.

    I'm willing to make do with the harder paper. It's easier on the septic system and much cheaper.

  22. chet
    February 27th, 2009 at 12:11 am

    I don't see what's so wrong about the article. It's not saying you should use pine cones or anything. Since most people don't see fit to read the article before going on a rant, I'll summarize the main argument: making recycled toilet paper is more energy efficient than making them from trees and the non-bleached kind means less crap being dumped in the water. Both reasonable claims and hardly qualifies this as "eco-agitprop". I use a cheap 100% recycled TP and it's really not bad. Saves me money and my ass feels just fine.

  23. Stencil
    February 27th, 2009 at 1:16 am

    instead of destroying rainforest why don't people just use TP made from cotton?

  24. HollywoodBob
    February 27th, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Yay! Let's all use recycled tp, and contribute to global warming even more!

    News flash, recycling may make you feel good, but aside from keeping trash out of the landfills, it actually uses more energy to produce (poor quality) products than if you used virgin materials.

    Pulp forests are fast growing and consume large quantities of carbon dioxide. And until they can be replaced by hemp fields, they're the best option for paper.

    And stop whining about old growth forests, the damn hippies destroyed the timber industry in Oregon because of the spotted owl and its supposed old growth habitat. Old growth forests are full of rotting trees, thick under brush, and are disasters just waiting to be sparked off by a lighting strike or an inconsiderate tourist.

  25. Ray
    February 27th, 2009 at 6:38 am

    Just do what the dog does - scoot your butt across the carpet.

  26. Dog Droppings
    February 27th, 2009 at 7:21 am

    "There are more acres of forest in North America today than there were before the white man arrived 500 years ago."

    Goober, everyone is untitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.

  27. mkultra
    February 27th, 2009 at 8:50 am

    @Goober:
    "There are more acres of forest in North America today than there were before the white man arrived 500 years ago."
    Really? You may be right, but could you provide a source for that statement? Having seen the steady spread of development and urban sprwal over the last few decades I am sceptical.

  28. Tommyboy
    February 27th, 2009 at 10:18 am

    They don't know how to use the 3 shells?!! HAHA

    Second alternative is to buy a High Tech Jap Toilet: http://larve.net/people/hugo/pictures/2001/05/06/jp_toilet

    Heated Seat with heated high pressure water and then a nice air dry system to leave the bum clean.

    Leave it to the japs to keep thinking of better solutions while we work on the next generation 5 layer lotion safe for a bear's bum TP.

  29. angstrom
    February 27th, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Stop cutting down our forests! Use the natural way, simply rub your ass directly on the tree.
    It's enviro-friendly and stops local kids from climbing in your garden.

  30. Gail Pink
    February 27th, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    I will NEVER give up my soft TP. NEVER!

  31. Wok
    February 27th, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Well if y'all want mine, y'all can have it. Texture don't matter to me.

  32. Marissa
    February 27th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    just quit poopin' y'all

  33. Noelegy
    February 27th, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    I can't believe no one's made a reference to Sheryl Crow and her recommendation that we all use only one square of toilet paper...

  34. Evilbeagle
    February 27th, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Sheryl Crow's dirty practices are just too disgusting to contemplate, Noelegy. ;)

  35. Orjan Morjan
    February 28th, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Think of it this way: If someone threw shit in your face, what would you use to clean it? Smear it out with paper or wash it away with soap and water.

    Attitudes have to change. Imagine if all of Asia started using whitened paper too.

  36. Larry
    February 28th, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Complete horseshit.
    Nobody uses old growth virgin timber to make paper. It's just too valuable. And half rotten.

    Pulpwood is grown specifically to turn into paper.

    If I want to squat, crap into a hole in the floor and hose my ass off I'll move to the third world.

    Which is where we'll all be if these enviro-whackos have their way.

  37. agent0range
    February 28th, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    almost all asian country use water and soap

    ask them hehe

  38. jj0jj
    March 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    nice work people!

    so glad the global warming nut jobs did not run away with this thread


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