Comments on: Duck Walks Into a Bar …

By: MosselKots

MosselKots — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 11:52:58 +0000

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks:
“Do you have shampoo for normal hair?”
The girl behind the counter sais:
“Is it a present?”

By: Jim R Feliciano

Jim R Feliciano — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 05:55:17 +0000

a man walks into a bar
it is amazing how funny this can be.
Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks if Descartes wants a beer and Descartes replies, “I think not” and disappears.

By: Scooter

Scooter — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:40:09 +0000

I guy walks in to a bar with a sack, looks at the bartender and says “If I show you something completely amazing will you give me a free drink?”

“Well for a free drink it would have to be pretty amazing.” says the bartender.

So the guy reaches into the bag a pulls out a tiny working piano and a hamster. The hamster sits and the piano and starts to play Ragtime.

“Well, that is pretty amazing but i don’t think it’s worth a free drink.” replies the Bartender.

So the guy reaches back into the bag and pulls out a frog, and as the hamster plays the frog starts to sing along. Amazed a fellow patron at the bar jumps up and says “Wow, i’ll buy that frog from you for 100 dollars”
So the first man hands over the frog and gets 100 dollars. The Bartender comments, “I don’t want to pry into your business but you just gave away a fortune.”

“Not really, the hamster is also a Ventriloquist.”

(Rimshot)

By: Scooter

Scooter — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:21:41 +0000

A pirate walks in to a bar sits down to order. The Bartender hands him his drink, looks him over and asks, “Do you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?” To This the Pirate Replies, “Arr, it’s driving Me Nuts.”

Thanks everyone, I’ll be here all week.

Try the Veal.

By: StrayChild

StrayChild — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:56:59 +0000

I’m afraid I didn’t get the joke. u_u

By: Chandrielle

Chandrielle — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:40:57 +0000

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Don’t laugh – it could happen.

By: cooties

cooties — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:29:23 +0000

a giraffe walks into a bar and shouts, ‘hiballs are on me!’

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, ‘hey, why the long face?’

By: SamIamIwas

SamIamIwas — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 11:19:52 +0000

Here's a dog walks into a bar claymation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmbrPk6eJng

By: just a guy

just a guy — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:03:01 +0000

A dyslexic walk into a bra.

By: Tony LaRocca

Tony LaRocca — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:24:41 +0000

A tick walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

Jesus walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Close the door, were you born in a barn?”

A jumper cable walks into a bar, and the bar tender says, “Don’t start anything.”

Two guys walk into a bar… you’d think the second guy would have ducked!

By: Johnny Cat

Johnny Cat — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:05:10 +0000

I see they have my favorite on there, about the string.

“No, I’m a frayed knot.”

By: kevin r

kevin r — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:42:07 +0000

Really geeky one:

An ASCII character walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’s wrong?” The ASCII character says, “I have a parity error.” The bartender nods and says, “Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off.”

Not geeky:

A polar bear walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”

The polar bear says, “I think I’ll have a gin and ……………………………….. …………………………….. ………………………. ……………… …………….. …………. tonic.”

The bartender says, “Ok, but why the big pause?”

The polar bear says, “I don’t know, I was born with them.”

By: Miss Cellania

Miss Cellania — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:22:58 +0000

I got a million of ‘em!
http://www.misscellania.com/miss-cellania/2007/1/23/guy-walks-into-a-b ar.html

By: Miss Cellania

Miss Cellania — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:19:26 +0000

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this -some kind of joke?”

By: The El Bee En

The El Bee En — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:14:04 +0000

Cue sfx: Rimshot!

By: Jake

Jake — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:46:01 +0000

my favourite.

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

“I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns the relevant entry and, sure enough finds an explanation.

“Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”