Comments on: Does Being Brutally Honest Help Your Marriage?

By: MarkW

MarkW — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 05:10:26 +0000

The truth (carefully shared) = trust. Short term pain (as the spouse adjusts) = long term gain.

By: KranzorZ

KranzorZ — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:52:41 +0000

I agree, being honest is the key, but…

If you think the brutal truth will hurt a person, think first. If you say something “truthful” and they are hurt, talk about it.

Bottom line: Communication = essential.

By: ted

ted — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 16:47:36 +0000

You should say, “Your butt was big before you put that on, honey.”

By: Emmers

Emmers — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:43:24 +0000

If anyone asked me “Does this clothe makes my butt look big?” I would not lie but say “How much have you had to drink?”

By: Christophe

Christophe — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 04:05:35 +0000

Say the truth so you don’t have to remember the lies.

Say the truth, so you don’t have to eat THAT meal again.

By: Kate

Kate — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 03:51:52 +0000

My fiance is honest too. He’s always nice about it, but I love that he’s straightforward. Sometimes he’s a bit harsh, but the honesty keeps us close, and I always appreciate it.

Considering the amount of intimacy that goes into a marriage (or is supposed to), being honest should not be that unusual.

By: Oliver

Oliver — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:54:34 +0000

This the policy my wife and I have. It’s wonderful. I’d rather her tell me I have bad breath than someone I don’t like. White lies are like faking it when you make love; you only train people to repeat the stuff you don’t really like.

Then you just spend your lives secretly annoyed 24/7, instead of enjoying life together.

Now, if my wife compliments me on anything, or vice versa, I know I must have done well. I feel more self-esteem, emotional independence, and confidence.

Wanting to be lied to = not emotionally prepared for reality.

But look at how stupid the article is: A husband and wife both agree that their marriage has improved, thanks to a policy of total honesty. So what do they do? They close with a “relationship psychologist” who gives the opposite advice.

What a load.

By: Half Assed Kitchen

Half Assed Kitchen — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:49:13 +0000

He’s crazy. No woman appreciates the truth THAT much.

By: lovely

lovely — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:35:45 +0000

i love it when my love says my bum looks fat

By: Woogie

Woogie — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:25:55 +0000

Tweeker: You have no idea how close you are to the truth my friend. I feel like an utter weasel about it too.

There’s a difference between saying “Yes that dress makes you look fat” and “After trying to salvage a marriage you have no interest in for 3 years, I’m leaving.”

By: Mary

Mary — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:13:12 +0000

My husband and I started out long distance dating, so we had a strict honestly policy. I wanted to know if he was out with friends because at least then I would know *why* he might not answer the phone rather than thinking of the worst possible situation. Now, if I say “how’s this outfit look?” I expect an honest answer. He puts it as nicely as possible, but he doesn’t encourage me to go out looking like a fool. We’ve also had a long standing policy of “if you don’t want to be with me, tell me, and don’t waste my time.” Maybe we’re an unusual couple, but this level of honesty really works for us.

By: Tweeker

Tweeker — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 22:56:38 +0000

You’re just not that into her?

By: Woogie

Woogie — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 21:33:42 +0000

What I might have to be brutally honest about soon, no, that’s NOT going to help my marriage.

By: jafabrit

jafabrit — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 20:29:28 +0000

I think one can be honest without being mean, such as using humour for example.Really if someone asks if their bum looks big, then they deserve an honest answer.