Life in Penistone: Not as hard as you’d think

By Adam Stanhope in Travel on Jan 23, 2009 at 10:45 am

The International Herald Tribune has an article about “titillating” place-names in the UK. Of all the names mentioned, my favorite, I must confess, is Penistone in Yorkshire. From the article:

“It’s pronounced ‘PENNIS-tun,’ ” Fiona Moran, manager of the Old Vicarage Hotel in Penistone, said over the telephone, rather sharply. When forced to spell her address for outsiders, she uses misdirection, separating the tricky section into two blameless parts: “p-e-n” — pause — “i-s-t-o-n-e.”

I’ve spent the past twenty minutes trying to come up with a great name for this post:

* Life in Penistone: Not as hard as you’d think ?

I’m sure that you guys can do much better.

Post your ideas in comments and I’ll choose my favorite and rename the post accordingly.

[International Herald Tribune]

(Photo: Natalia Balcerska Photography – via Flickr Creative Commons)


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  2. Gail Pink
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Penistone reminds me of the website address for the office supply outlet “Pen Island”: penisland.com

  3. Gauldar
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 am

    “Penistone locals being rubbed the wrong way”

  4. Dan Smith
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am

    to dwell in obscenity

  5. Adeyb
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    I live a few miles away, and I’ve never noticed the ‘naughty’ word!

    How about Scunthorpe?

  6. stapler
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    “Over 1 billion served”

  7. geeko
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    “Penistone is difficult to pass”

  8. Polx
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    there is a street in London called Grape St,that used to, or so the story goes, be called Grope C*nt St.

    probably apocryphal.

  9. Valerio
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Penistone;
    Now 37% Cooler than Bedcock…err Bedrock.

  10. casey
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Within spitting distance from vaginaville.

  11. JordanJF83
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    There’s a place in Berkshire called Cox Green, Maidenhead

  12. amdela
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    Peniston – Honestly, we’re not all d*cks here.

    Newfoundland has a treasure trove of dirty and funny places names, like Dildo and Spread Eagle Bight (or Arm, I forget which). There’s also places called Goobies, Horse Chops, Ha Ha Harbour, and Heart’s Desire. And many, many more.

    They’re a wacky folk…..

  13. brittsmom29
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    We’ll go to great lengths to keep you satisfied!

  14. Bob 2
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    aka Kidneystone (pronounced KIDNISTON).

  16. Lupus
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    “Is that a Penistone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

  17. Lupus
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    It’s hard not to trigger a moderation alert when submitting responses to this post.

    Get it? Hard not to? Giggity!

  18. Gauldar
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    It’s not Lupus!

    Sorry, just had to say that. Been chain watching House episodes with a friend who still has to get caught up with the previous seasons.

  19. Adam Stanhope
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Keep ‘em coming! No winner yet!

  20. xsphere
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Life in Penistone: if it’s soft you can’t beat it, if it’s hard you get f*cked ;]

  21. faburobin
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    What is the sound of one dick clapping?

  22. verloren
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    How about Wilsford cum Lake? It’s a charming village in England, not some some of, um, storage facility as you might be thinking.

  23. SydneyClaire
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Want to find out what that sound is ?

  24. greychild
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    A rose by any other name…

  25. Calvin Ngan
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    Thank you for visitng Penistone, please Cum again.

  26. mike r baker
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Who authorized the erection of this sign?

  27. Ape Man
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Part rock, part hard place…

  28. DaveL
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    “Hard Times at Penistone High”

    “The folks of Penistone lobby to change embarrassing town name. Welcome to New Bonerville!”

    “Entire town of Penistone, UK moved to Italy… citizens insist it’s pronounced Peni-ston’-eee.”

  29. Dan0
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    the actual story on the new york times has pictures. i don’t know why it’s not linked.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23crapstone.html?_r=1

  31. Carrington
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    -Penistone: stiff competition for best town name ever.
    -Penistone: mightier than the sword.
    -Penistone: a hard town is good to find.
    -Penistone: actually, yes, we ARE glad to see you.
    -Things are looking up in Penistone.
    -A town that shrinks when it swims.
    -A bulge on the Yorkshire map.
    -My town is SO big…
    -It’s not the size of the census…
    -When it comes to town names, this place got the shaft.
    -Welcome to Penistone, bam chakka wawaa.

  32. SenorMysterioso
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Locals cope with slightly off-colour Penistone

  33. SenorMysterioso
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    lol, I think the town name triggered the automod to flag my last post

  34. DaveL
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Mine too. Wait ’till all the posts are modded before declaring a winner… lol…

  35. Ray Strobel
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Here are a few:

    “A town name gets the shaft”

    “It’s hard living out here”

    “Do the residents here have the willies?”

    “It was here or ‘Thingyville’”

  36. SenorMysterioso
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    flashbacks of The Penis Mightier from celebrity jeopardy on snl :)

  37. SteveP
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    That should be,”…before declaring a wiener”, DaveL.

    Penistone Pub…a great place for Bangers.

  38. joe_target
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    There’s a strange noise coming from your pants.

    Oh, it’s just Penistone.

  39. Paul in Boca
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    “We’re so friendly, you’ll come back daily!”

  40. Scott-O
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Home of Voit, Wilson, and Spaulding.

  41. Scott-O
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Sorry- make that “Spalding.”

  42. Scott-O
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    “And You Thought YOUR Neighbors Were Nuts!”

  43. Mor
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Neither a penis, nor a tone

  44. Church
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    If you’re in Penistone for more than four hours, seek medical help immediately.

  45. the dodger
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    I live just down the road in holmfirth in West Yorkshire..
    Between a couple of local villages..Farnley Tyas an Thurstonland (!) is a 16th centuary milepost with it clearly spelt as ‘Pennystone’….at some point i think maybe the village fathers thought this must have sounded cheap and decided to rename the place penistone….!

  46. brittsmom29
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    All the others just fall flat!

  47. stapler
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    hey paul,

    How about “We’re so friendly, you’ll come daily!”?

  48. ZenBlue
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    “Cunning Linguist Rams Hen House in Penistone Cockup”

  49. Miss Priss
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Penistone: The difference between a rock and a hard place.

  50. Paul in Boca
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    stapler, a bit more succinct, good on you!

  51. Ferd Berfel
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    1. Beer Nuts – the beginnings a serious genital disease.
    2. Cotton Balls – Advanced stage of Beer Nuts.
    3. Penistone – Metastasized Cotton Balls.
    A sure death follows.

  52. Adam Stanhope
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    There are some GREAT ones here!

    What are your favorites so far?

  53. Adam Stanhope
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    I really like this one from Carrington:

    Penistone: actually, yes, we ARE glad to see you.

  54. ferdinandcc
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    Oh, you went to the school of hard knocks? Wow. Me? I went to Penistone Elementary.

  55. SenorMysterioso
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    When you asked me to kiss the blarney stone I played along but this is where I draw the line

  56. Christophe
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    Penistone : I wonder what it sounds like?

  57. Gauldar
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    Adam Stanhope,

    I vote for Scott-O’s:
    “And You Thought YOUR Neighbors Were Nuts!”

  58. varial
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    I’ll take “The Penistone Mightier” for $400, Alex. And your mother, too.

  59. brittsmom29
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    And you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth!

  61. Kevin
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Go ahead. Just try to pass it!

  62. jessedybka
    Jan 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    Penistone residents: tough nuts to crack

    Penistone locals firm on pronounciation

    Upstanding British towns

  63. Qio
    Jan 24th, 2009 at 1:18 am

    Penistone, We’re hard on crime.

  64. ZenBlue
    Jan 24th, 2009 at 2:08 am

    Penistone: where hard-up seamen don’t get shafted

  65. violet
    Jan 24th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Cock Blocks and Other British Streets

  66. Joe Bison
    Jan 24th, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    I vote for one of the ones from Carrington:
    “-Penistone: actually, yes, we ARE glad to see you.”

  67. aerophisher
    Jan 25th, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Be Genital When You Name Towns

  68. tripleX
    Jan 26th, 2009 at 7:46 am

    Penistone: your happy place.

    Come and stay in Penistone.

    Wake up to the sound of the mighty organ of Penistone.

  69. Adam Stanhope
    Jan 26th, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I still like “Life in Penistone: Not as hard as you’d think” the best.

  70. tripleX
    Jan 27th, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    @Adam Stanhope: except Fridays. Life is hard on Fridaynight in Penistone.

  71. MichaellaS
    Jul 20th, 2009 at 9:29 am

    tks for the effort you put in here I appreciate it!


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