Comments on: Kids Without Wives: Men are Turning to Surrogacy to Become Single Dads

By: DDDDD

DDDDD — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 03:00:31 +0000

The risks to men of getting married and having children with a woman in western countries are so extreme that frankly I think surrogacy is the only rational option for many men.

From the child’s point of view I think this is better than what 25 – 50% get. 50% end up with divorced parents and most of those have little or no contact with their fathers. So these children loose contact with a father that they once loved. With surrogacy they will always have their loving father and they never knew their mother.

By: Kenny

Kenny — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:36:12 +0000

My partner and I have twins who just turned two. We used an egg donor and a gestational surrogate. I gave up a career as a CPA to stay home with my kids and don’t regret it at all. Having children has been a dream come true for me and I will be forever grateful to the two women (egg donor and surrogate) who made this possible. They are truly heroes. Our kids have no doubt who their parents are: daddy & papa.

Because so many hateful people have made it difficult for gay couples to adopt, I never considered adoption. With surrogacy, the children are biologically related to one of us and under our state laws the other part of a couple can be specified as the child’s parent. Thus, only our names appear on the birth certificates.

By: Stew

Stew — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:33:57 +0000

I’m all for it. Why shouldn’t men be allowed to become single fathers without the drama/baggage that comes along with marriage? Women have been doing it for far longer than men.

Sadly, this is one more thing for the traditional/pro-family/”you’re destroying society, where are your morals?” idiots to latch on to.

By: Evil Pundit

Evil Pundit — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:04:36 +0000

Considering the terrible things that happen to men when wives divorce them, I think surrogacy is the way to go for men who want children.

That is, until the artificial womb is perfected.

By: Dave

Dave — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:08:53 +0000

I knew a guy who did this about 30 years ago. He wanted kids without the emotional baggage of the wife-thing. So he made financial arrangements with a co-worker of his who had “desirable genetic traits” (as he put it), made the baby the old-fashioned way, then parted ways after the baby was born. I haven’t seen much of him since then, but it seems things went well.

I would think that one concern is that a pedophile would try something like this. Scary to think of what the kid would be in for.

By: yakdan

yakdan — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:14:47 +0000

This is exactly the sort of think I was looking for before I started me family.

By: ted

ted — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:53:06 +0000

Makes no sense, liphttam1. What problems are similar to a wife dying? Just the fact that the woman isn’t there?

We’ve seen women choose to raise kids without men for years. What’s any different here?

By: DOJ

DOJ — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:32:32 +0000

haha sam, I thought the same thing

By: liphttam1

liphttam1 — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:21:40 +0000

Theres nothing wrong with it. But is it worth going thru the problums similar to a wife dying in childbirth?

By: sam

sam — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:04:07 +0000

Ben was 21 months old when he was born?! DAMN!

By: Nicholas Dollak

Nicholas Dollak — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:12:48 +0000

I think surrogates are making the best of a bad situation. There’s nothing wrong with adoption/surrogacy (is that a word?); but I’ve seen a sharp decline in the number of women who see marriage as desirable. For some of us, parenthood is a desirable condition, just as for some it is something to avoid. Hopefully some sort of social change will occur that will cause people to be more open & honest with themselves (and thus make it easier for marriage-minded people to find each other instead of wasting time); until then, this may be the most effective means for some people to raise a family.

By: raincoaster

raincoaster — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:55:27 +0000

I know a woman who has children in exchange for money, although the economics and custody arrangements are a bit different. Economists have theorized that the only advantage marriage has over prostitution is the production of children, but they don’t realize there’s a market for the production of children in the first place.
Details:
http://raincoaster.com/2008/04/13/stupid-girl/

By: Dr Girlfriend

Dr Girlfriend — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:58:44 +0000

Woogie, my birthmother gave me up right after I was born, and I was raised in a wonderful loving family. I was also aware of my adoptive status from the beginning and was never treated as if this was something “bad”. I am 30 years old now and have regained contact with my birth family. The confidence that was instilled in me by my parents (adoptive)regarding my worth and love has enabled me to see that the reasons surrounding my adoption, while a difficult choice for my mother and others involved, was for the best and was a loving choice.
Your girlfriends issues don’t completely stem from just her birthmother’s surrender. There are other outlying issues she needs to address.

Adoption is a beautiful thing, be it straight, gay, single or married. Every child deserves a loving family.

Surrogacy isn’t adoption. It is paying someone else to have a child for you. At no point do the genetics of the person the womb is attached to enter into the equation. A woman who enters into a surrogacy contract is aware of this, as is the father. If you were a product of artificial insemination, would you feel the same way about the sperm donor?

By: Alice

Alice — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:48:12 +0000

Woogie, most surrogates are not the biological mothers. A donor egg is used to prevent the very problem you mention.

By: Woogie

Woogie — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:46:56 +0000

Addendum: Genetics make no difference. The baby is still connected via the placenta to the woman it is inside.

I feel so sorry for the babies that have to go through this.

By: Woogie

Woogie — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:45:15 +0000

Given the issues my wife has from her birth mother giving her up right after she was born, as well as close friend of hers suffering the same issues, ANY surrogacy is reprehensible IMO. Nobody EVER stops to think of the child or the effect it might have on it being taken away from it’s biological mother.