Viagra for Afghan Warlords

By Miss Cellania in Health, Weapons & War on Dec 27, 2008 at 8:34 am

Money is too obvious and weapons are dangerous, so what is the CIA using to bribe information from Afghan warlords these days? Viagra!

The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.

Four blue pills. Viagra.

“Take one of these. You’ll love it,” the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.

The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes — followed by a request for more pills.

Viagra is only one of the enticements the CIA uses. The drug doesn’t have a particular appeal for younger men. Link -Thanks, Justin!


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  1. liphttam1
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Should “compliments of uncle Sam be in quotations?

  2. DOJ
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Maybe Viagra can put and end to human-nose poaching.

  5. IggyKoopa
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    Man, it’s totally hilarious that the US government is doing its part to make sure Afghan warlords can continue to rape women and girls.

  6. ted
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    IggyKoopa, you’re presuming that Afghan warlords are having non-consensual heterosexual sex.

  7. just a guy
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Ah, the power of the boner.

  8. Geekazoid
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    Wait, what’s the CIA officer himself doing with a stash of viagra in afghanistan? Hmmmm…

  9. IggyKoopa
    Dec 27th, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    I think keeping harems is pretty much the definition of non-consensual sex.

  10. Peeves
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 1:56 am

    I too am wondering if giving guaranteed sexual preparedness to ‘warlords’ is the best idea. Especially in countries where womens’ rights are in the negative.

  11. Ray
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 7:17 am

    I bet the goats are nervous.

  12. ted
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 11:31 am

    In your opinion, IggyKoopa. But I think you missed my point, way up there on your high horse.

    To address your stereotypical views, though, how do you know that Afghan warlord has a harem?

  13. ted
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 11:32 am

    As opposed to four women who love him very much…

  14. IggyKoopa
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Women in Afghanistan have almost no agency. They have almost zero political power and even fewer options personally. I’m not sure why you think, given their overall situation, four young women would choose this old man as a husband, as opposed to being forced to have sexual relations with him.

    If you can’t understand that, then I doubt this conversation can go much further.

  15. Peeves
    Dec 28th, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    Taking into account the rights of women doesn’t constitute a high horse. But I’m sure this one warlord defies all logic and experience in that country and his 4 young wives love him very much and the CIA only gives Viagra to warlords who undergo a psychological process and have reliable character witnesses.


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