Comments on: The Chainsaw Bayonet

By: 2012 is coming, Comrades...

2012 is coming, Comrades... — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:45:23 +0000

Oh, yeah, and all with silencers and flash suppressors.

By: 2012 is coming, Comrades...

2012 is coming, Comrades... — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:44:15 +0000

For LOBOs, see a Shaolin Spade.
AND WHO KEEPS SUGGESTING NUKES?????
DO YOU WANT RADIOACTIVE ZOMBIES?

For the zombies you're talking about, I'd probably go with a Glock 9mm w/ 33 round clip, a Winchester .30-.30 since the ammo is really common (besides, it's FUN to shoot), a Shaolin Spade or Ninjato... and a HK417 (for way long range if i could get my hands on a military rifle), and if not that, a SL8-6 with wood-lined stock and extended mag, since they fire .223 Remington OR 5.56x45mm NATO. A little much to carry, but the SL8's only for long distances.

By: erratic

erratic — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:47:58 +0000

howitzer

By: Jbot

Jbot — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 21:29:25 +0000

also, defense, wrap urself up in some sort of material that wont hinder your movement too much, cut out eye and mouth holes, and voila! ur harder to bite

By: linty

linty — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:06:11 +0000

Pol x

That's actually a really good idea! Here we are talking about surviving a zombie apocalypse and I get stuck on conventions like "spears should only have one point".

By: Jbot

Jbot — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:14:07 +0000

actually, if you end up getting bitten, charge into the horde and chop them apart, ur gonna die anyway, so might as well DIE not become a zombie, better dead than undead

By: Pol x

Pol x — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:00:55 +0000

linty

sharpen both ends.

I know, I( am totally obsessing on this thread.

Sorry I love Z movies.

By: linty

linty — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:13:31 +0000

if i were to seriously have to pick a weapon I'd probably go to Metal Supermarkets and grab a 3/4" x 10' aluminum rod and taper the last 6" down to a point. This would make for a very reliable weapon that would be easy to sharpen, durable, and effective. Distance is very important and so is weight. It wouldn't be any good in close quarters but everybody knows better than to go into small areas when zombies are around.

By: jbot

jbot — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:20:43 +0000

what about throwing knives? (knives are everywhere, so even if they do miss. you can easily get more!) or maybe a rly long spear like thing... try the museum of ancient history os something (its not illegal if its the apocalypse, otherwise dont try it) to kill them before they can touch you. or maybe go to the airport and try to fly away (if you can). or maybe a good old ghost rifle (from SC) target a nuke then get the heck outta there

By: Pol x

Pol x — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:16:51 +0000

And because knowledge is power

http://www.ehow.com/how_2294133_make-lobo.html

build yourselves a Lobo.

By: Pol x

Pol x — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:13:05 +0000

STORMY

nice.

No to flame throwers, flames mean nothign to Zeds, they just set fire to you yours and your stuff.

And as for proper double edged swords....well if you seriously know what you are doign I suppose so, but most folk would be content with an over arm chop to the noggin with a machete.

Z doesn't try to hide,nor defend itself, you don't need to be a super swordsman. And besides if you cut of a Ghouls head....the head is now in the long grass like rat trap waiting to go off.

Perhaps not now, in the heat of battle but say in 4 years when the first post WWZ kids are allowed to play in the meadow.Kids love ruinnig bare foot in the grass.....SNAP!

Are you going to be the one to put little Jenny down?

This has been a public information film from the dept for biohazard hygiene.

As you were.

By: stormy

stormy — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:04:53 +0000

I have an assignment to everyone here who suggested that a 12 ga shotgun would be the best weapon period: Go to the store and find a box of 100 12 ga shotshells and just pick it up. Weighs a bit doesn't it? 100 rounds is a few hours of skeet shooting, you'll need to carry a lot more if you want to fight zombies. Second, most models of shotguns have a tube magazine where you must load it 1 shell at a time, where most magazines hold 4 and depending on the model up to 8 in the tube. I don't know about you but I don't want to have to insert each round one-by-one every 5 shots when I have a swarm of zombies after me.

So keep the shotgun at home for hunting, which you'll be doing a lot of in a post apocalyptic world.

Here are some things you might actually want:

.38/357 lever action rifle, +1 if you can get a matching revolver as a backup. If you jam a revolver you've messed it up anyway.

a good .22 caliber magnum rifle

SKS: durable, ammo is pretty easy to get, and with stripper clips you can reload them pretty fast.

Old surplus bolt action rifles: Mosin-Nagant, Enfield, K98, and 1903 Springfield are all very reliable and accurate for medium to long range shooting and ammo is readily available for all of them. Although I mentioned Bolt-action the M1 Garand is also a great gun.

P.S. chainsaws are in infection hazard as they will spray zombie goo all over you, do you really want that?

By: Zak

Zak — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:15:35 +0000

A sword, not to long, double edged a must.

Guns only bring attention, swords remove heads with deft silence.

By: TBone

TBone — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:10:19 +0000

You know in all of this hypothetical nonsense, noone mentions the ever handy, always deadly light saber. Like a sword but way f'ing cooler. Combine that with some Jedi mind tricks and whammy, you're out the door before the undead even know you were there.

By: Bret Hammond

Bret Hammond — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:14:00 +0000

As Max Brooks points out, machetes never need reloading.

By: Horned_one20

Horned_one20 — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:57:35 +0000

Thee only thing worse then undead hordes trying to eat your brain is undead hordes trying to eat your brain WHILE ON FIRE!

Wow seriously bad ideas in this tread. Max Brooks FTW.

By: Scooter

Scooter — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:52:01 +0000

A Lobo is real if you know how to make one.

has access to a forge and an anvil.

By: Jbot

Jbot — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:58:33 +0000

BTW about the flamethrower ammo, just use a gas can or something.

By: Jbot

Jbot — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:36:58 +0000

Or you can use the new Zombie BBQ™
Simply spray oil over infected area,
light it on fire, then the infection is clear!

By: Ali S.

Ali S. — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:36:58 +0000

Looking over the comments I'm amazed by the amount of times our Neatorama readers contemplate how to dismember a zombie. If there is ever a zombie apocalypse I'll be glad to have any of you beside me in a fight.

By: Jbot

Jbot — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:26:02 +0000

A oil sprayer and a flamethrower for sure, you know the old saying! "Light a zombie a fire, and he will be warm for a day, light a zombie ON fire, and he is warm, for a lifetime" maybe some nice throwing knives or something too... or even a minigun and a nice chopper... or maybe just a chopper for a getaway.... definateley NOT the flamethrower in the chopper though

By: Pol x

Pol x — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:13:30 +0000

Justin makes a very important point.

Call em Ghouls call em the Undead call him Zack.

The Zombie is a slow shambling monstrosity.

Those running guys from 28 days later are not Zack.

They are alive, as you can see by them starving to death at the end of the flick.

Rob #64

Ooh that is exactly the puppy.

And a bicycle for a swift get away.

By: Justin

Justin — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:07:11 +0000

Hmmm what would I fight off a zombie horde with? I think I would prefer one of those military grade shotguns that carry a bunch of shells in clips. I prefer engaging my zombies from a safe distance, but I doubt I will be able to stay accurate enough to use a rifle when the zombie horde is marching towards me.

However if they are the terrifying running zombies (28 days later), I think I would prefer something quieter that wouldn't attract their attention. Maybe a repeating crossbow.

By: Shen

Shen — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:17:58 +0000

NUKES!! Of course!

By: lua

lua — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:00:35 +0000

Reminds me of a weapon from one of the Drednoks characters in GI Joe

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:22:29 +0000

Actually, you are all wrong. The best anti-zombie weapon out there is Paris Hilton.

By: Corinne

Corinne — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:19:15 +0000

Or better yet, a shotgun with incendiary shells. Well, you'd need a couple shotguns, considering the damage the rounds would do to the barrel...

By: Corinne

Corinne — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:13:45 +0000

I'm with Nick on this one... Cricket bat and maybe some records.

By: Rob

Rob — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:30:16 +0000

Ruger Mini-14. Uses easy to find .223 Remington/5.56mm Nato ammo, available in every sporting goods store, gun shop, and National Guard Armory in the US. Extended magazines are widely available (until the Assault Weapons Ban 2.0 goes into effect) as are numerous accessories, like bayonet lugs, laser sights, etc. You can trick it out as much as you want, really. Keep the original wood stock though, as it makes a great bludgeon for those times the ammo is low and Zed is at your door.

By: edvard

edvard — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:56:46 +0000

Machete. Or a meat cleaver on a stick.
Shotgun. Sawed off with pistol grip.
Handgun. Standard police-issue .38 will do, but I'd prepare a few hundred rounds beforehand drilling out the tip, filling with mercury and capping with wax.
Actually that's an urban legend, but we ARE talking zombies here...
If I had a choice of military arms, I'd go with the M4 SOPMOD. Google it.