Cats have rules for their lives, they just don't want to tell you about them. James S. Huggins has compiled a list of these guidelines. For example:

The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse!

Link -via the Presurfer