Guidelines for Cats

Posted by Miss Cellania in Animal, Funny on November 18, 2008 at 12:02 pm


Cats have rules for their lives, they just don’t want to tell you about them. James S. Huggins has compiled a list of these guidelines. For example:

The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse!

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11 comments to "Guidelines for Cats"

  1. hearsmusic
    November 18th, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    I would dare call this a classic. We have been saying "(s)he is thinking about several things" when one of our cats is standing in a doorway for a couple of years.

    The whole list makes me laugh every time, though. Somebody knows their cats!

  2. silentwatcher24
    November 18th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    so cute!!! and so true.

  3. Him
    November 18th, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    So THATS why they attack my feet!

  4. sise
    November 18th, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    I am the cleaner of the litter box... and nothing more
    *sniffles*

  5. Ally
    November 18th, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Fret not sise, for I am the scratching post...and nothing more.

  6. Brachinus
    November 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    I'm really bummed -- I thought I coined the term "bed mice"!

  7. tripleX
    November 18th, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    What about the shape-shifting Bed Mouse, singing the national anthem every morning. They must be extra delicious as humans, specially the females, hunt it down, play with it and devour it on a regular basis. I hate it when they throw us of the bed and make us watch them lick their lips and purr.

  8. stormie24
    November 18th, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    I didn't own a cat for very long but a lot of this happened so it's gotta be true...but my dog does some of this stuff so is he weird?? :o )

  9. Johnny Cat
    November 19th, 2008 at 1:59 am

    How about the sacred religion of the laser dot, and the vow to capture it at all costs? It is according to legend, that the one who captures the "red fire" will be the one to be worshipped by cat and man alike, for all eternity.

  10. Rocky Rook
    November 19th, 2008 at 10:39 am

    My wife doesn't like cats, else we would have one or two.

  11. raina_c
    November 21st, 2008 at 5:47 am

    Our kids have definitely read these guidelines : D They are so alike, yet so different too. Gotta LOVE THEM!!!


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