Caption Monkey 37: Giant Zucchini!

Posted by Alex in Caption Monkey on July 29, 2008 at 7:17 am


Today’s Neatorama and Hobotopia’s Caption Monkey game is special … it comes from my own garden!

A few weeks ago, my wife Tiffany planted a zucchini plant in our backyard … and promptly forgot about it. Today, she discovered something strange about it. It has been very hot in Santa Clarita, California, so a lot of her plants didn’t make it – but this one not only lived … it also grew a humongous zucchini!

Just how big is it? Here’s the Zuc posing with our son 7-month-old son Zach:

… and our 2-year-old daughter Maddy:

So, for today’s Caption Monkey game, we have two prizes: One funny caption (chosen by Adam) will win an original comic by Adam "Ape Lad" Koford from the recent archive fo the Laugh-Out-Loud Cats, and another funny caption (chosen by me) will win a free Neatorama T-shirt.

Contest rules are darn simple: place your caption in the comment section. One caption per comment, please, but you can enter as many funny ones you can think of. Saying that my kids are cute will earn you good will, but won’t necessarily win you the prize, mmkay?

Good luck!

Update 8/6/08 – A little prize confusion here (sorry, only one winner and the prize is the free shirt) – the winner is TripleX, with this caption:

Our plan to destroy all vegetables by peeing in the garden backfired terribly, my young brother…


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COMMENT

85 comments to "Caption Monkey 37: Giant Zucchini!"

  1. Larfin Jackarse
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Unless ignoring the fodes of children....what can anyone say?

    Ok, what kids?, where?, I remember a British (music hall?) song about "I've never seen one as big as that before". I remember as a youngster singing it (no doubt picked up from the 2 Ronnies, or Binny Hell etc). I'm sure my parents found it funny (stop running I will find you one day).

  2. Larfin Jackarse
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:26 am

    ps: bet I don't win the t-shirt either.

  3. Chris W
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:28 am

    That's either one humongous zucchini, or you have somehow managed to shrink your kids to such a size that the zucchini looks huge modelled next to them!!

  4. hernan43
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:39 am

    It runs on unobtanium!

  5. verloren
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:39 am

    For picture 2: "You're SURE this is an airbag?"

  6. verloren
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:40 am

    For picture 3: "New to Baby Strongman this year, the Atlas Zucchini"

  7. AO
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:51 am

    Is that a zucchini in your pocket or are you just glad to ... oh, wait. I guess it is."

  8. Any Given Tuesday
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Pops, hand me a drill, four screws and some fishing wire, and we'll make a rad stand-up bass out of this thing!

  9. Him again
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:17 am

    <>
    Larfin, the tune you're thinking of is "Oh, what a beauty" I think it was refering to the size of a over-size marrow.
    I shall now go outside and stay there.

  10. Him
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:35 am

    You beat me to the joke AO.

    WOOT! Giant zucchini ftw maaaan!

  11. Howard
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:03 am

    But we said we wanted a dog!

  12. Rajelin
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:08 am

    (for the 7month old pic)

    "And with the po-WUH of JAE-SUS CHRISTT. I HEAL THEE!!"

  13. konshuss
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:10 am

    even days after the blast, they were still finding pieces of the incredible hulk.

  14. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:27 am

    "your making your son and me..very uncomfortable..very.. just look at the poor fella's face.. you should see mine in comparison". *sighhhhh*

    your kids are cute...did i win did i win :D ..lol im jus doing this for the good sport lol

  15. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Little boy [impersonating Stewie] " Ahh yes yes.. i can finally take over the world..victory is mineeeee!!!!"..

  16. Susano
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Picture Number 2

    "Once I figure out how to turn this thing on, no one will be able to stop me from taking over the world!"

  17. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Maddy : " do this thing give out tea?"

  18. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Zach : " darn it..now i have to eat my veggies :'(..ima start crying" lol

  19. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:36 am

    Mafia: " okay sunny..tell us who did it!!"
    Zach: " I sweyah..i dydnt do nuthhing"

  20. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Maddy: " Who needs AXE when we got Zucchini" paw chiki wyaw wyaw

  21. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Zach: "hello mr. cucumber"
    Zucchini: " whos the wise guy who said that!!"

  22. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Maddy: " Mommy wow...im a big kid now!"

  23. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Zach: " I want to be just like you Mr.Zucchinyy when I gwo up"

  24. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:45 am

    Maddy: "tana nanana nanananan nanananan annananna tanannana nanan..Ohh o_0 ..yea i got bigger teddys then this..i dont want him anymore;p"

  25. Tom Franklin
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:57 am

    "Look at this great 'VeggieTales On Ice' costume I got on eBay!"

  26. Gordon
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:13 am

    "Parents concerned that children might not grow larger than vegetable..... seeking hormones".

  27. Holly
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am

    What do you mean I can't leave the swing until I clear my plate?

  28. 2headedmagpie
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:38 am

    Photo 2
    Facing high gas prices and lower turnout, many amusement parks have been forced to make subtle changes to their ride safety programs.

  29. Jill Harness
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:55 am

    This isn't a caption, but I would like to suggest zucchini "burgers" with that bad boy.
    My friend had one like that last year and we had the best meal as a result. Just cut it into 1/2 to 1" slices, cook them on the barbecue and serve like you would a regular hamburger. They're the best topped with cheese.

    I'm so jealous, they're amazing like that.

  30. naSSim
    July 29th, 2008 at 11:10 am

    pic2: do you like it? it's mine:)

  31. lawrence
    July 29th, 2008 at 11:31 am

    maddy 'dont worry, mr. zucchini, mommy said i MIGHT like the surprise she has installed for YOU!'

  32. tripleX
    July 29th, 2008 at 11:42 am

    Our plan to destroy all vegetables by peeing in the garden backfired terribly, my young brother...

  33. Tim
    July 29th, 2008 at 11:47 am

    zucchini? i ordered a martini!

  34. Scotchdrnkr
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Hey Sis.
    Lets hurry up and bury this thing before mom or dad find it and make us eat our veggies!!

  35. Ross Maxwell
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    "The zucchini would bide its time, earning the children's trust, learning the lay of the land. And when the family turned its back... Operation Tossed Salad would begin in earnest."

  36. tripleX
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Keep smiling, bro! As long as they photograph this monster we don't have to eat it!

  37. Scotchdrnkr
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    I'm not going to eat it. You eat it.
    I'm not going to eat it. You eat it.
    Hey lets give it to Mikey. Hey Mikey!
    Mikey will eat it. He eats anything!

  38. Christophe
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Pic 2 : Daddy, are you really eating 5 veggies a day???!!!
    Pic 2 : I've always said living next to a nuclear power plant had some advantages!

    out of contest comment : yes they're cute ;)

  39. Don Bruey
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    For the first picture:

    "Once the castaways were finally rescued, the search party found one last radioactive vegetable, the consumption of which caused the Skipper to temporarily sprout bunny ears."

  40. tikay36
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Going Green: Toy industry giants Mattel and Wiffle Ball Inc. have recently introduced their new lines of environmentally friendly (and completely edible!) playthings. Pictured here are the Wifflechini Bat and Life Sized Mr. Zucchini. Perishable? Yes. But fun while they last!

  41. mike r baker
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Yeah, cute kids. And be sure to core that baby before cooking it - the core gets woody when they're that big.

    Captions...

    First photo: "Dun-Dun-DU-U-U-U-UNNNN!"
    Second photo: "O hai! I got squashed."
    Third photo: "Organic dollie? FAIL"

  42. Tiffany
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Thank you for the zucchini burger suggestion! That's an awesome idea. I have been trying to figure out what to do with this thing. I had toyed with the idea of giving chunks of it out as party favors. Maddy does have her birthday party this weekend. What?? You don't think little kids would appreciate a wedge of zucchini in with their playdough and bubbles??

  43. Pristine Apostle
    July 29th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    PIC 1:

    "What the deuce? I specifically requested a Neatorama shirt - not an oversized zucchini derived from the dirt. Blast you, woman!"

    PIC 2:

    Maddy, once again, saves the day by subduing the Godzilla of zucchinis that rampaged out of the the clover field.

  44. Pristine Apostle
    July 29th, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    PIC 1

    "Huge zucchini...cutting off...circulation to my...underdeveloped legs..."

    PIC 2

    Maddy and her zucchini partner wow the judges with their mad ball room dancing skillz.

  45. FuzzyDave
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    Maddy had heard whispers on the playground about how the number and quality of presents would decrease once her new brother was born...

  46. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Zach: " vroomm..vroom vroomm...vroooooooooooooooommmmmmmm!"

  47. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Zach [looking at his face and the zucchini]: " are you thinking what im thinking?"
    zucchini: taking over the world?..*narff*

  48. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Zach: " But i wanted a cellphone T_T !!!"

  49. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Maddy: " give me a big gaint hwug mwster gween"

  50. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Zach: "Say ello to my little fwed"

  51. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    Dad to Zach

    " With BIG power comes BIG responsibilities."

  52. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Zach to Dad

    " dadddyy i thougdsadff u sayd big thwings come in litteser3le packages??"

  53. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Zach: *smirk* so much for world hunger..i can feed the world this forever and everybody will be happy

  54. kp
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    - So you think you can dance?
    Maddy:
    Look we are doing salsa!!

    hahah get it salsa? lol i know salsa has no zucchini ..but we can start :P ..lol and yea ill stop with the 100 comments now :)

  55. ECA
    July 29th, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    2nd pic.
    BAM, BAM.
    BAM BAM BAM...

    3rd pic.
    Pebbles:
    Let me take this away from you before you hurt yourself.

    3rd pic.
    Mommy, when will i be GREEN??

    2nd pic.
    My name is GORDI(Star trek)

    3rd pic..
    They grow them THIS BIG..

    2nd&3rd..
    THIS IS A FISH??

  56. DOJ
    July 29th, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    3rd - "I'm practicing for prom"

  57. Tim
    July 29th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    stupid squash, you go squish now!

  58. dncucf
    July 29th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    Maddy pic:

    “I love my new cabbage patch doll! Wait a minute … this isn’t a cabbage patch doll! This isn’t even cabbage!!!!”

  59. David Mc
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Little kid holding the zucchini says "Mom, you shouldn't leave your dildo lying around so carelessy".

  60. Ali S.
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    The kids realized that unfortunately Mom is going to be making ALOT of zucchini pickles.

  61. Ali S.
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    @ Ali S.

    D'oh it's supposed to end with "...pickle slices." ;)

  62. David Mc
    July 29th, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Little kid says "Looks like the incredible hulk, big and green and ugly. I better not make it angry."

  63. JC
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    I shall pass, kp wants the prize more than me. Lol

  64. Louisa
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Your kids are adorable! There's nothing cuter than chubby baby legs and toddler girls in hats. I dunno what to say about that zucchini other than you might want it tested for radiation.

    ~a Mommy

  65. ernest
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    She grew an...
    itsy bitsy teeny weeny green BIG 'cchini!

  66. ernest
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Little Tykes tm Zucchini. (No small parts, no choking hazzard, no sharp edges)

  67. ernest
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Come on, eat your veggies.
    It's, it's,
    it's a pinata...MMMM!

  68. somajoy
    July 29th, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    OH MY GOD...I CAN'T BREATHE!!

  69. Plasmator
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Man, I hate zucchini...this one is going to be hard to hide under the booster seat.

  70. Plasmator
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    Mommy!!! A dinosaur pooed in the garden!

  71. Plasmator
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    Result of Wacky-Scientist-Dad-Grow-Ray Test Number 1: Success. Feature film, here we come!

  72. Plasmator
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    The birds and the bees have nothing on me!

  73. Miss Cellania
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    I think this is the first picture we've seen of Maddy since she was a newborn. What a cutie! Thanks for posting these.

  74. neatoramafan
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    2nd photo:

    "Mom better buy the jumbo sized Pampers..."

  75. San
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    Picture 1 :"Finally, the proof. They are among us. They have been hiding in our soil..., until one alien got horny"

    2 and 3: "Thanks Dad for making sure I will need years of therapy in my future... and you HAVE to take a picture, uhm?"

  76. neatoramafan
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    3rd photo:

    "This is a thousand times better than Mr. Potato Head!"

  77. tripleX
    July 30th, 2008 at 12:28 am

    Looks like someone planted some ORLY seed...

  78. acy
    July 30th, 2008 at 3:57 am

    pic 2:thats not a zucchini, THIS IS A ZUCCHINI!!!!

    pic 2: DDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

  79. Rob
    July 30th, 2008 at 4:31 am

    Pic 2: Honey, I shrunk the baby!

  80. mdkraftr
    July 30th, 2008 at 8:49 am

    pic 2: "I wish this dance could last forever..."

  81. bored@work
    July 30th, 2008 at 10:21 am

    No caption to add - just wanted to say that all suggestions so far are basically crap. And as for you saddos who couldn't resist resorting to 'my that's a big one' type "humor"... GET A GRIP.

    ;)

    The best by far is "even days after the blast, they were still finding pieces of the incredible hulk.", and that's still crap. "Mommy!!! A dinosaur pooed in the garden!" is almost funny, though. Keep on trying!

    Oh yeah. OK. They're cute.

  82. Jeremy
    July 30th, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    Pic 2: I know you guys don't want me putting things in my mouth, but seriously, this is the bottom of the barrel for "safe" toys.

    Pic 3: If I plant this right here, we should be living inside a giant zucchini by the end of the year. And I'll finally have my own room!

  83. tripleX
    July 31st, 2008 at 4:34 am

    Mama left her handbag open again...

  84. tripleX
    August 5th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Zach loves to swing and Maddy loves to Salsa with the vegetables.

  85. tripleX
    August 5th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    The new green iPod Touch. It stores sunlight and children's stories. Only from Apple (look for logo in first picture)


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