Assault with Chicken

And while you are at it, DUMP THE HARLEY AD THAT DROPS A “PEEL ME” STICKER right in front of the item.

Fer Christ’s sake, boys, you don’t need the cash that bad.

It is really REALLY obnoxious.

Frozen chickens are lethal weapons.

My father is the prosecutor mentioned in the article. The bicycle mentioned in the article? Yeah, not his. A local citizen recognized this clown as the guy who was rummaging through his garage the day before, and took off on his bicycle. He called the Sheriff and asked if they found him with a bicycle matching the description of his. Yup. So they tacked on another felony. Triple Fail.

Chickens don’t kill people. People with chickens kill people.

The thing is, if this guy’s mother had her own handgun, she could have shot him dead before the felonious assault.

Or if he had his own handgun, he could have gone on a shooting rampage and done a lot more damage – no, wait, folks just don’t do that sort of thing.

When I first read this story, I came to the conclusion that the mother probably fell short on parenting at some point. I won’t go so far as to say that she “deserved” it, but…hey.

There are lots worse things one can do with/to a chicken.

She probably said “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”

Please take your racist comments elsewhere, “A.J.”