Top 10 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents

Technology has always played a big role in fighting terrorism. Some inventions are truly useful and will undoubtedly save lives, whereas others are so bizarre that one wonders how in the world they got patented. This list is about the latter: Behold the Top 10 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents!

(Note: yes, most of these patents cite fighting terrorism as raison d'être)

Anti-Terrorist Truck

U.S. Patent 4667565, Rapid response patrol and antiterrorist vehicle by Reg. A. Anderson. Issued May 26, 1987.

Problem: Terrorists can pop up at any time, leaving local authorities totally defenseless against their raging attacks.

Solution: When terrorists walk past this non-descript truck parked quietly on the street, its roof pops out to reveal a machine gun turret! If that doesn't strike fear into the heart of Jihadis, well ... then we can still mow 'em down!

Bonus: Also great for battling zombies.

Face Protector Against Poisonous Gas

U.S. Patent 7107990, Portable face protector for protecting human being from poisonous gas and securing visibility by Kuk-Bin Lee. Issued Aug 30, 2004.

Problem: Terrorists may use poisonous gas to terrorize civilians, and gas masks are not very attractive looking.

Solution: A portable face protector (10), probably inspired by Robin's mask, and a piece of cloth (22) to cover the mouth and nose.

Bonus: Also protects against flatulence.

Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet

U.S. Patent 6920646, Human waste management suit, by Caleb Clark Crye, Gregg M. Thompson, and Eric Owen Fehlberg. Issued Jul 26, 2005.

Problem: You got to wear a biohazard suit to protect against biological or chemical weapons ... but as soon as you put it on, you really gotta go!

Solution: A biohazard suit with a built-in toilet! Just squat a little bit and go.

Bonus: Hazardous fumes are sealed inside the suit, thus preventing embarrassing smell from adding extra stress to an already strenuous situation.

Potential Complications: How do you wipe?

Railroad Missile System

U.S. Patent 4896580, Railroad missile garrison system, by Ron Rudnicki. Issued Jan 30, 1990.

Problem: Terrorists may attack a missile silo, a stationary target if there ever is one.

Solution: Make it mobile. Here's a patent for a railroad missile garrison system that launches ICBMs from rail cars of a train.

Bonus: Makes a great movie plot!

Doggie Earphone

U.S. Patent 6591786, Device and method for safetly inserting an electronic device in an ear of a four-legged non-human trained animal, by Eric R. Davis. Issued Jul 15, 2003.

Problem: It's well known that Al Qaeda terrorists hate dogs, but how do you tell the animals to get to these dirty SOBs if they can't hear you? (You being a far away, of course, preferably in the safety and comfort of a bunker.)

Solution: a custom-fitting earpiece for dogs so they can receive verbal instructions remotely.

Bonus: The method specifically said four-legged non-human animal, so I'm thinking this will work with goats. Attack goats.

Airplane Trap Door

U.S. Patent 6844817, Aircraft anti-terrorism security system, by Wolfgang Gleine. Issued Jan 18, 2005.

Problem: Terrorists want to hijack a plane by trying to break down the cockpit door.

Solution: After hardening the cockpit door, airlines should add the next logical step: airplane trap door that springs open to entrap terrorists below deck.

Bonus: Great prank to pull on the co-pilot going on a bathroom break.

Improvement Suggestion: Add an alligator pit to the trap door ... or better yet, some motherf-ckin' snakes on the motherf-ckin pit!

Airplane Sleeping Gas System

U.S. Patent 6499693, Aircraft to respond to threats, by Ariel S. Rogson. Issued Dec 31, 2002.

Problem: Terrorists are almost successful in breaking down the cockpit door...

Solution: Gas 'em! Here's a system that puts incapacitating gas into the plane's ventilation system. After everyone's knocked unconscious, the pilot can land the plane and let the police deal with the hijackers.

Potential Complications: Better hope the terrorists aren't carrying the Face Protector Against Poisonous Gas invention listed above. Also, the gas knocks out everybody, passengers and terrorists alike, which leads us to ...

Passenger Control System During Flight

U.S. Patent 6970105, Passenger control system during a plane flying, by Paolo Valletta. Issued Nov 29, 2005.

Problem: A terrorist is onboard, and you want to disable him without harming the other passengers.

Solution: Make all passengers wear armbands that monitors their body for signs of falsehood and evil (ooh, say heart pulsation and blood pressure - hey, it's in the patent application, mmkay?). And did I mention there's a syringe filled with a strong tranquilizer connected to the thing? One "anomalous emotional condition," then off to dreamland they go!

Bonus: Works for unruly kids.

Explosion Containment Net

U.S. Patent 6854374, Explosion containment net, by O. Alan Breazeale. Issued Feb 15, 2005.


That you, Solid Snake?

Problem: Suicide bombers may detonate their bomb and kill a lot of people.

Solution: It may look like an umbrella, but that's actually a kevlar net fired from a special gun to encapsulate and contain a bomb's blast. The net also contains a tube for dispensing fire suppressant agent (the tank is worn on the back of the net operator in Figures 6 and 7 above).

Bonus: Great for fishing or tackling

Mobile Crematorium

U.S. Patent 6729247, Mobile crematorium, by Andrew and Nelle Brown. Issued May 4, 2004.

Problem: When all effort to prevent a large scale act of terrorism failed and the body count of victims is high, then something is needed to get rid of the bodies ...

Solution: A mobile crematorium - basically a combustion chamber on wheels.

Bonus: Probably makes a mean BBQ! Also works to get rid of dead zombies.


Hey, the anti-terrorist truck is what goes around with the president's limo =D discovery channel has a pretty good film on that ; ]

Oh, and the syringe thing, it was used in a movie and i can't remember the title!
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Wait a minute, in the Explosion Containment Net, why is the terrorist a hippie? I sense negative discrimination here. Not all hippies blow themselves up, frankly, I'd say none has.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Well the truck kinda reminds me of the humvees with the gunner turret.

The 'toilet suit' is actually kinda neat, and is something I can use on the job.

The ventilation system on the airplane that gasses everyone unconscious is also an interesting concept, though as we all know it is highly unpredictable and dangerous as that massacre in the Russian theater proved.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Hasn't Russia had missile trains for decades? Wikipedia shows prior art from 1969.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RT-23_Molodets

Of course I'm a noob when it comes to international patent law, so if we can go patent russian inventions, I call dibs on Tesla's work.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Umm... no? Strapping every airline passenger with a syringe full of narcotics in case their HR/BP go above certain levels is not what I'd call a good idea.

A truck with a gun turret? Great for war, but name me one terrorist who has ever run around the streets of America with explosives strapped to them, screaming, "Shoot me! I'm totally about to blow some shit up!"

A railroad missile system? That just screams, "Steal me!" Besides, I see a train derail in the US about once a month. What if every time it happened, we had to worry about whether a NUCLEAR MISSILE had been stolen.

I could go on, but rest assured bean, while a few of these have some minor use, I doubt in my heart of hearts that anyone will ever be saved by an explosion containment net.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
wasn't the mobile rail-bound missile system already envisioned and nearly implemented as part of the MX Missile Program during the administration of the late great Ronald Reagan?
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
What if a terrorist puts an IED in the toilet part of your bio-suit? Think people, think.

Medium east is making my eyes water still. From laughing, not poison gas.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
"Hasn’t Russia had missile trains for decades"
Hey! not the same thing at all, our trains carry intercontintal ballistic missles while theirs simply carry bombs.
__
this is our product ||
it is a inter-fiborious ||
friction fastener ||
\/
__
this is their product ||
||
it is a nail ||
\/
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Why does the net operator only have one leg? The first prototype must not have worked. And, I don't think it is a hippie but rather a person asking for change.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
[quote]
Of course I’m a noob when it comes to international patent law, so if we can go patent russian inventions, I call dibs on Tesla’s work.
[/quote]

Thomas Edison already did that :-)
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Railroad missile -- Bonus: Makes a great movie plot!

Have you actually watched Under Siege 2: Dark Territory? Because I don't think anyone would call that movie plot "great".
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Here's the actual patent on the incapacitating gas... it seems to be the only one with some potential beyond comedic value! :)
http://www.google.com/patents?id=Kq8JAAAAEBAJ&dq=6499693
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
then what do they use in the dentist office for a knockout gas please email me as i won't check this site a again

Robin

info@nutec-medical.co.uk
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Dillon Aero makes an SUV with a 7.62mm Minigun (electrically-driven Gatling Gun)called the "Q" Car, which very much resembles the "Anti-Terrorist Truck." Great video of the "Q" in action on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D6PUD66UMc
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
This is a prime example of how the patent system needs to be rebooted. *sighs*

I'm a government scientist by trade and it abhors me that there is very little in the way of technical/engineering analysis of these fantasies and implementation is another problem no one seems to think about. Not to mention the prior art.

Trap door on a plane? Hah! Everyone knows that there is a cubic butt-ton of empty space in the underbelly of a airliner. Surely we can squeeze a prison cell in there!

*Poster slaps forehead*

P.S. The feud between Tesla and Edison is an interesting read. It's a shame the real geniuses aren't backed by the J.P. Morgan money machine.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Bah, my "sarcasm" tags were stripped by the comment system. In case the batteries are low on anyone's sarcasm detector, the third paragraph in my above post was meant with to be read as sarcastic prose.

Also, come on! A Kevlar net that will remain anchored to the ground during an approximately 100 atm (~1500 psi, 10 MPa) blast front? I don't think so. You'd basically be adding more debris to be thrown about.

I mourn the death of scientific thought and reasoning. I suppose it's for the best, really. It's been suffering for such a long time.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Trap door on a plane? Snakes?? Why waste time with snakes? Just rig up another trap door to the outside world and drop the bad guys into the ocean from 35,000 feet
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Why a pit under the trap door. Can't it be a sluice. After the terrorist is trapped, the trap door closes and another trap door opens which forwards him outside. Have a good flight!
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
what great concepts, the bathroom in a suit is just funny, but I love the 'solid snake' concept taking down the suicide bomber. notice how the bomber is some hippy with long hair, and some sort of headband, must be an old illustration when the government wanted to scare people away from those 'free thinkers'.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
I am 18 years old.i am studying in i.t. Engineering. I am from gujarat. I want to join antiterrorist force. But i can not found any way. Can you give me some guidence or any websites?
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Why don't we nuke terrorist countries like Pakistan and end this all at once. Now it has been proven that Pakistan government helps terrorist camps. They also are making an Islamic bomb against western countries.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Biohazard Suit with Built-In Toilet

I dont think Potential Complication would be wiping the back... This is because the specification reads, "the waste collector has interior portions which are soft to serve as toilet tissue"

The potential complication that I see is that the suit is typically for males... Females wearing it cant use it to dispose urines as their phisiology is differently modelled!!
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
I have developed a bio-chemical anti-terrorist device called the"Gas Attack Filter" for use in the U.S.A and am looking for someone (across the pond) to help develop, produce and market. Are you interested
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Commenting is closed.
Click here to access all of this post's 55 comments
Email This Post to a Friend
"Top 10 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents"

Separate multiple emails with a comma. Limit 5.

 

Success! Your email has been sent!

close window
X

This website uses cookies.

This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By using this website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

I agree
 
Learn More