Lucy Kellaway was on a mission to get rid of the corporatese phrase "going forward" that she hated so much, and wrote a post about it on the BBC Magazine. Her post garnered so much reaction that the BBC culled the top 50 office-speak phrases that should definitely be banned.
For example:
1. "When I worked for Verizon, I found the phrase going forward to be more sinister than annoying. When used by my boss - sorry, "team leader" - it was understood to mean that the topic of conversation was at an end and not be discussed again."
Nima Nassefat, Vancouver, Canada2. "My employers (top half of FTSE 100) recently informed staff that we are no longer allowed to use the phrase brain storm because it might have negative connotations associated with fits. We must now take idea showers. I think that says it all really."
Anonymous, England3. At my old company (a US multinational), anyone involved with a particular product was encouraged to be a product evangelist. And software users these days, so we hear, want to be platform atheists so that their computers will run programs from any manufacturer."
Philip Lattimore, Thailand4. "Incentivise is the one that does it for me."
Karl Thomas, Perth, Scotland5. "My favourite which I hear from the managers at the bank I work for is let's touch base about that offline. I think it means have a private chat but I am still not sure."
Gemma, Wolverhampton, England
As a stakeholder in this issue, I wouldn't want to wrongside the 2.0 demographic so let's conversate, drill down and incentivise a holistic approach to this challenge. We'll definitely need to pre-plan from the get-go in order to go forward together. After I get my ducks in a row, I'm actioning 110% of my effort to rid the world of office-speak once and for all.
Previously on Neatorama: The Origin of Words You Hear A Lot in the Office
Drives me nuts. So, what? Are they just too lazy to complete the sentence, or do they want me to finish it for them? "The sales form didn't have any signatures, so..." "So, I guess you're buying me lunch!"
The one that always made me twitch the most at my old job was "phenomenality," which got bandied about every time someone wanted to measure the success of a given project ("How high is it on the phenomenality scale?" *twitch twitch twitch*). I couldn't hear that word without launching into a bastardized version of the song "Ma Na Ma Nah" in my head ... doo doo de doo doo!
God I hear it all the time. Now it is part of the company name of three places I deal with. I am self employed.
"going forward" makes sense. It's completely acceptable and anyone complaining about it is a picky and ridiculous person. A project is stalled or in review at a certain phase, so talking about how to help it "go forward" MAKES SENSE.
The other phrases which are completely nonindicative of their point or reference are, yes, stupid attempts to coin lingo and I haven't heard of the vast majority of them. This is an article intended to be exclusive without any actual frame of reference. What pointless complainy drivel.
It's time to toe the board, bite the bullet, lead the steer and take the fortress. HAH. Who cares? Get over yourself article author. Your so-called phrases are passing jargon. A month from now no one will bother with them.
The woman who wrote this just likes to complain.
Going forward...
Enable, don't disable, Carl.
Enable, don't disable.
You should see what it is like at a software company (er, "solution" company). Instead of calling someone, we "ping" each other. We have conversations "on the front end" instead of at the beginning and "on the back end" instead of behind the scenes. We take conversations "offline" instead of talking about things later.
A few of my other favorite phrases (I collect these when bored at meetings):
Circle back around = Talk about this again
Close the loop = Finish something
getting tapped on the shoulder = chosen to do something
working in the war room = working sequestered in a conference room with a bunch of your unfortunate coworkers until something gets done.
I've got more, but I'll let you "wrap your head around these" for a little while. Maybe you can "example" some of your own. (Turning nouns into verbs seems to another big fad going forward).
ugh.
(is that good enough to put on a t-shirt?)
I can see why that cubicle office guy went ballistic in that video. Probably went nuts from the smell of his own swamp ass and sour coffee breath or he finally 'seen the light'.
I just imagined then and there repeatedly bashing his face in with a stapler.
Be a team player, golly-gee willikers!
hmmm.. How 'bout you go f*ck yourself and I'll collaborate with my co-workers instead.
http://lmbenigni.googlepages.com/coretek
It's a great way to kill 10 minutes at the office... Be pro-active! Create synergy! Right-sizing is the key!