Comments on: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/ The Neat Side of the Web Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:52:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: [edited] http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1979226 [edited] Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:21:09 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1979226 OK here we go: * KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. * PLATO: For the greater good. * ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. * KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. * TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take. * SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. * JACK NICHOLSON: ’cause it f___ing wanted to. That’s the f___ing reason. * RONALD REAGAN: I forget. * CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. * HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. * ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. * LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. * MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question. * MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. * FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? * RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. * MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. * JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" * FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. * BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. * BILL CLINTON: I’m going to say something important. And I’ll say it again to make sure you understand. I did not have sexual relations with that chicken. I did not. * GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. * OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" * DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. * EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. * BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. * RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it. * ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. * NEW SOUTH AFRICAN POLITICIAN: It is the Apartheid regime which made the chicken cross the road when the chicken did not want to cross the road, the chicken is oppressed and the only way to free the chicken is for the whites to pay restitution for oppressing the chicken and investigate police involvement in the death of chickens. It is racist to imply that chickens are involved in any crimes and corruption. * OLD SOUTH AFRICAN POLITICIAN: It is our belief that chickens should be allowed to cross roads in their own areas with their own roads. If they wish to cross roads in other areas they must carry a pass and will be subject to arrest if they dont. We would like to state categorically that meddling in our affairs by any persons will not be tolerated and we will arrest and detain anybody for a period of 90 days without trail so that these allegations can be investigated. * COSATU: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking, South African. * RAY MACAULEY: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That’s what "they" call it, "the other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that. * DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told! * DR NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die. * GRANDPA SIMPSON: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. * BISHOP TUTU: We need a society where people will learn to forgive all the chickens that crossed the road. However, forgiveness will be granted to chickens that convince the nation that their reasons for crossing the road were politically motivated * PAN AFRICAN CONGRESS: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. * ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underpriveleged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform. We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them. We will also return to the Socialist ideal of a road so that all chickens who live in our country can benefit from the grand ideals which I have decided upon. * ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken’s motion * HEISENBERG: No one will ever know for sure whether he actually got to the other side * SNOOPY: It was a dark, stormy night. Somewhere in the rain, a chicken crossed a road * JULIE ANDREWS: Chick, a cheer, a female cheer … * MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken. OK here we go:
* KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
* PLATO: For the greater good.
* ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
* KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
* TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
* SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
* JACK NICHOLSON: ’cause it f___ing wanted to. That’s the f___ing reason.
* RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
* CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
* HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
* ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
* LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
* MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.
* MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
* FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
* RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
* MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
* JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
* FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
* BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
* BILL CLINTON: I’m going to say something important. And I’ll say it again to make sure you understand. I did not have sexual relations with that chicken. I did not.
* GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
* OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
* DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
* EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
* BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
* RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
* ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
* NEW SOUTH AFRICAN POLITICIAN: It is the Apartheid regime which made the chicken cross the road when the chicken did not want to cross the road, the chicken is oppressed and the only way to free the chicken is for the whites to pay restitution for oppressing the chicken and investigate police involvement in the death of chickens. It is racist to imply that chickens are involved in any crimes and corruption.
* OLD SOUTH AFRICAN POLITICIAN: It is our belief that chickens should be allowed to cross roads in their own areas with their own roads. If they wish to cross roads in other areas they must carry a pass and will be subject to arrest if they dont. We would like to state categorically that meddling in our affairs by any persons will not be tolerated and we will arrest and detain anybody for a period of 90 days without trail so that these allegations can be investigated.
* COSATU: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking, South African.
* RAY MACAULEY: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it, “the other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
* DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
* DR NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.
* GRANDPA SIMPSON: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
* BISHOP TUTU: We need a society where people will learn to forgive all the chickens that crossed the road. However, forgiveness will be granted to chickens that convince the nation that their reasons for crossing the road were politically motivated
* PAN AFRICAN CONGRESS: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.
* ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underpriveleged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform. We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them. We will also return to the Socialist ideal of a road so that all chickens who live in our country can benefit from the grand ideals which I have decided upon.
* ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken’s motion
* HEISENBERG: No one will ever know for sure whether he actually got to the other side
* SNOOPY: It was a dark, stormy night. Somewhere in the rain, a chicken crossed a road
* JULIE ANDREWS: Chick, a cheer, a female cheer …
* MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.

]]> By: Bowltaft Johnson http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1781547 Bowltaft Johnson Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:08:29 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1781547 Bahamen: who let the chickens out!? Jerry Springer: what we have here is, the chicken was running away from an abusive wife who is also the chicken's sister that apperently cheated on him with his own brother while high on Meth. Rick James: cus he's rich b!#$h ! Aerosmith: Cuz he walked that way! Sarah Palin: to keep the Russians on check. Pew Pew Bahamen: who let the chickens out!?

Jerry Springer: what we have here is, the chicken was running away from an abusive wife who is also the chicken’s sister that apperently cheated on him with his own brother while high on Meth.

Rick James: cus he’s rich b!#$h !

Aerosmith: Cuz he walked that way!

Sarah Palin: to keep the Russians on check. Pew Pew

]]> By: Miz Taylor http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1731281 Miz Taylor Tue, 12 May 2009 22:14:05 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1731281 Ozzy: So I could bite it's head off! Ozzy: So I could bite it’s head off!

]]> By: ronnie http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1546901 ronnie Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:38:40 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1546901 Norma Desmond> All right, Mr. DeMille, now that the chicken has crossed the road, I am ready for my close up. Norma Desmond> All right, Mr. DeMille, now that the chicken has crossed the road, I am ready for my close up.

]]> By: Pete http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1536158 Pete Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:47:34 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1536158 Mr. T : If you saw me coming you would be crossing the road too! Mr. T : If you saw me coming you would be crossing the road too!

]]> By: Pete http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1536145 Pete Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:44:58 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1536145 Arnold Drummond: Watchu talking about Willis?! There is no chicken crossing the road! Arnold Drummond: Watchu talking about Willis?! There is no chicken crossing the road!

]]> By: Regy http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1273655 Regy Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:35:31 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1273655 Jessica Jimpson: Are we talking about a chicken or a fish? Jessica Jimpson: Are we talking about a chicken or a fish?

]]> By: Fred DeRosa http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1193765 Fred DeRosa Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:10:51 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1193765 Richard Nixon? Hmm, I think you meant Bill Clinton. Richard Nixon? Hmm, I think you meant Bill Clinton.

]]> By: Tinkerbell http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-1182111 Tinkerbell Sun, 16 Nov 2008 15:17:25 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-1182111 Because the chicken-feed is always fresher on the other side. But even if the chicken crossed the road, who's to say that another escaped chicken didn't trip the other in a lowly attempt to get the good food first? I know that's what I'd do. Who says you have to play fair? The food is mine! Because the chicken-feed is always fresher on the other side. But even if the chicken crossed the road, who’s to say that another escaped chicken didn’t trip the other in a lowly attempt to get the good food first? I know that’s what I’d do. Who says you have to play fair? The food is mine!

]]> By: Tom Jackson http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-648499 Tom Jackson Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:09:51 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-648499 Too simple to say, to get to the other side Too simple to say, to get to the other side

]]> By: Noxus103 http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-647697 Noxus103 Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:07:55 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-647697 I was sent this... I was sent this…

]]> By: Ravi J http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-638039 Ravi J Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:41:44 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-638039 Lou DObbs: They are obviously coming on this side to take our jobs. Lou DObbs: They are obviously coming on this side to take our jobs.

]]> By: Ademyr http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-618658 Ademyr Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:39:05 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-618658 ajajajajaj GREAAAAAAT !!! ajajajajaj GREAAAAAAT !!!

]]> By: Randy Patterson http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-615125 Randy Patterson Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:08:47 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-615125 M: "We don't know why. Your mission, 007, is to find out and eliminate those responsible." M: “We don’t know why. Your mission, 007, is to find out and eliminate those responsible.”

]]> By: Randy Patterson http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-615121 Randy Patterson Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:57:07 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-615121 Robin: "Holy riddles, Batman! It's the Riddler!" Robin: “Holy riddles, Batman! It’s the Riddler!”

]]> By: rolltideroll http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-613904 rolltideroll Sat, 14 Jun 2008 16:12:10 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-613904 Jeff Foxworthy: You might be a redneck if a chicken crosses your road. Jeff Foxworthy: You might be a redneck if a chicken crosses your road.

]]> By: Ajan http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-613682 Ajan Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:51:05 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-613682 for the chickens to the chickens by the chickens for the chickens
to the chickens
by the chickens

]]> By: heather http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-612084 heather Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:12:45 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-612084 Chicken to itself: "Bakawk" *pecks at the roadside* @steamykitchen: spot on chef answers. Bourdain definitely would have said that. My favorite variant of this joke comes from Happy Texas: [main characters are on a chain gang picking up trash by the roadside] "Hey [character's name I forgot], why did the armadillo cross the road?" "I dunno. Why?" "He didn't. See?" *Holds up dead armadillo* Chicken to itself: “Bakawk” *pecks at the roadside*

@steamykitchen: spot on chef answers. Bourdain definitely would have said that.

My favorite variant of this joke comes from Happy Texas:
[main characters are on a chain gang picking up trash by the roadside]
“Hey [character's name I forgot], why did the armadillo cross the road?”
“I dunno. Why?”
“He didn’t. See?” *Holds up dead armadillo*

]]> By: Gorrilo http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609895 Gorrilo Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:06:58 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609895 Franz Kafka: Because it is more free as a chicken than it was in its work-afflicted life as a human, and now has the choice to cross the road. Franz Kafka: Because it is more free as a chicken than it was in its work-afflicted life as a human, and now has the choice to cross the road.

]]> By: Fernando http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609831 Fernando Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:20:24 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609831 LOL! I like the one by Mitchbert, "Neo: There is no chicken." LOL! I like the one by Mitchbert,

“Neo: There is no chicken.”

]]> By: Justin Ed. http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609600 Justin Ed. Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:10:29 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609600 Worf: Klingon chickens do not cross the road. Worf: Klingon chickens do not cross the road.

]]> By: katrina http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609352 katrina Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:35:18 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609352 Chuck Norris: *stares intently at chicken* Then he round house kicks chicken across the road Chuck Norris: *stares intently at chicken* Then he round house kicks chicken across the road

]]> By: Mitchbert http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609351 Mitchbert Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:34:44 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609351 Neo: There is no chicken. Hannibal Lecter: There most certainly was a chicken. He came to my chateau in Milan for dinner. Dessert was a splendid pate. Neo: There is no chicken.

Hannibal Lecter: There most certainly was a chicken. He came to my chateau in Milan for dinner. Dessert was a splendid pate.

]]> By: TZ http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-609115 TZ Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:07:02 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-609115 Richard Nixon: I did not have relations with that chicken. I repeat, I did not have relations with that chicken. Richard Nixon: I did not have relations with that chicken. I repeat, I did not have relations with that chicken.

]]> By: Andrea http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608904 Andrea Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:25:20 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608904 The Chicken itself - "What's a road?" The Chicken itself – “What’s a road?”

]]> By: Dave http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608892 Dave Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:58:22 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608892 To see a man lay a brick. To see a man lay a brick.

]]> By: Vanessa http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608460 Vanessa Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:29:35 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608460 Einstein really did say, "Did the chicken cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?" Einstein really did say, “Did the chicken cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?”

]]> By: Archbob http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608401 Archbob Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:52:19 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608401 I'd shoot the chicken, eat it, and ask questions later I’d shoot the chicken, eat it, and ask questions later

]]> By: mustamike http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608199 mustamike Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:12:13 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608199 It's "To die alone... in the rain." It’s “To die alone… in the rain.”

]]> By: emily http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608145 emily Wed, 11 Jun 2008 03:41:58 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608145 All of these jokes and many many more are available at http://www.bored.com/chickenjoke/index.htm it's a pretty addictive place to be. Like this site. All of these jokes and many many more are available at http://www.bored.com/chickenjoke/index.htm it’s a pretty addictive place to be. Like this site.

]]> By: Vako http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-608010 Vako Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:46:40 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-608010 Benito Mussolini - All for the chicken... The road for all! Francisco Franco - This is the chicken's meat. There are no roads without chicken meat or crosswalks in España. Kim Jung Il - The chicken crossed the road to get to South Korea, but was shot. Therefore, chicken dinner for my Japanese sex-slave... Adolf Hitler - The chicken crossed the road because there was a white rooster at the other side, it's magnificent blonde comb swaying in the mighty Germanic winds. According to the will of the Aryan order of poultry, they will lay eggs that are superior to that of the filthy brown chickens, who were not genetically capable of crossing the autostrata in the first place... and I am unshakable in that. Hugo Chavez - How much petroleum did the chicken use to get across the road? None. See? The U.S. are just greedy, decadent Capitalists. Excuse me while my cronies and I count our billions... The chicken it's self - "Because it was there..." Benito Mussolini – All for the chicken… The road for all!

Francisco Franco – This is the chicken’s meat. There are no roads without chicken meat or crosswalks in España.

Kim Jung Il – The chicken crossed the road to get to South Korea, but was shot. Therefore, chicken dinner for my Japanese sex-slave…

Adolf Hitler – The chicken crossed the road because there was a white rooster at the other side, it’s magnificent blonde comb swaying in the mighty Germanic winds. According to the will of the Aryan order of poultry, they will lay eggs that are superior to that of the filthy brown chickens, who were not genetically capable of crossing the autostrata in the first place… and I am unshakable in that.

Hugo Chavez – How much petroleum did the chicken use to get across the road? None. See? The U.S. are just greedy, decadent Capitalists. Excuse me while my cronies and I count our billions…

The chicken it’s self – “Because it was there…”

]]> By: Homer J. Simpson http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607998 Homer J. Simpson Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:35:30 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607998 Falwell's been dead for a while. His quote needs to be changed to John Hagee or someone else. Falwell’s been dead for a while. His quote needs to be changed to John Hagee or someone else.

]]> By: Carl http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607975 Carl Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:21:56 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607975 Again with the Ron Paul conspiracies by not including him in this list. Ron Paul: Frankly it's none of my business if the chicken crosses the road. The Constitution doesn't give me any power to interfere with the rights of the chicken so this is all moot! What's really important is the destabilization of the dollar against the value of chickens! Again with the Ron Paul conspiracies by not including him in this list.

Ron Paul: Frankly it’s none of my business if the chicken crosses the road. The Constitution doesn’t give me any power to interfere with the rights of the chicken so this is all moot! What’s really important is the destabilization of the dollar against the value of chickens!

]]> By: Steamy Kitchen http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607965 Steamy Kitchen Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:17:49 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607965 I've got more...from my food blog, SteamyKitchen.com, submitted by readers: Anthony Bourdain: “To get away from Rachael Ray.” Alton Brown: That’s not a chicken, it’s a domesticated fowl likely descended from the wild Indian and southeast Asian Red Junglefowl (Gallus gallus) and the related Grey Junglefowl (G. sonneratii). Rachel Ray: “To go to KFC cause thats the only way you’re gonna get a cooked bird in 30 minutes or less! Paula Deen: “Cause that’s where the buttah and sugah is y’all!” Mario Batali: “because that is the tradition of our Italian ancestors.” Sandra Lee: “to gather items for this fabulous tablescape.” Gordon Ramsay: “Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t f*^$ing give a s#%^ why the chicken crossed the damn road. Now p*ss off.” Jack LaLanne: “It’s how you can tell it’s fresh. Within a chicken is the secret to eternal youth and vitality. With my Power Juicer, all you have to do is juice the whole chicken, using the beak, claws, feathers and all to extract the maximum nutritional value.” Ryan Seacrest: We’ll find out why the chicken crossed the road…..after the break. Al Roker: The chicken wanted to see what it was like in YOUR neck of the woods. Padma Lakshmi: Chicken, please pack your knives and go to the other side of the road. Yoda: Always in motion, the chicken is. Darth Vader: No, Luke, I am your chicken; cross the road. You do not know the power of the dark… meat *** ok ok, more here: http://steamykitchen.com/blog/2008/06/03/chicken-cross-road/ I’ve got more…from my food blog, SteamyKitchen.com, submitted by readers:

Anthony Bourdain: “To get away from Rachael Ray.”

Alton Brown: That’s not a chicken, it’s a domesticated fowl likely descended from the wild Indian and southeast Asian Red Junglefowl (Gallus gallus) and the related Grey Junglefowl (G. sonneratii).

Rachel Ray: “To go to KFC cause thats the only way you’re gonna get a cooked bird in 30 minutes or less!

Paula Deen: “Cause that’s where the buttah and sugah is y’all!”

Mario Batali: “because that is the tradition of our Italian ancestors.”

Sandra Lee: “to gather items for this fabulous tablescape.”

Gordon Ramsay: “Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t f*^$ing give a s#%^ why the chicken crossed the damn road. Now p*ss off.”

Jack LaLanne: “It’s how you can tell it’s fresh. Within a chicken is the secret to eternal youth and vitality. With my Power Juicer, all you have to do is juice the whole chicken, using the beak, claws, feathers and all to extract the maximum nutritional value.”

Ryan Seacrest: We’ll find out why the chicken crossed the road…..after the break.

Al Roker: The chicken wanted to see what it was like in YOUR neck of the woods.

Padma Lakshmi: Chicken, please pack your knives and go to the other side of the road.

Yoda: Always in motion, the chicken is.
Darth Vader: No, Luke, I am your chicken; cross the road. You do not know the power of the dark… meat

***

ok ok, more here:
http://steamykitchen.com/blog/2008/06/03/chicken-cross-road/

]]> By: Eric http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607950 Eric Wed, 11 Jun 2008 01:14:56 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607950 Dick Cheney's shold have been: So!? Mike Gravel: *Stares intensely at chicken for four and a half minutes then throws a rock into a pond* George Orwell: All chickens are equal, just this chicken is more equal than the others. Homer Simpson: Mmmmm.... Chicken *drools* Dick Cheney’s shold have been: So!?

Mike Gravel: *Stares intensely at chicken for four and a half minutes then throws a rock into a pond*

George Orwell: All chickens are equal, just this chicken is more equal than the others.

Homer Simpson: Mmmmm…. Chicken *drools*

]]> By: CheeseDuck http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607911 CheeseDuck Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:41:07 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607911 Mr T: I pity the foo'. Mr T: I pity the foo’.

]]> By: Fernando Urrutia http://www.neatorama.com/2008/06/10/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road/comment-page-1/#comment-607855 Fernando Urrutia Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:11:59 +0000 http://www.neatorama.com/?p=16734#comment-607855 Lil' Jon: The chicken crossed the road cuz the otha chicks were on the otha side, O-K!!!? Lil’ Jon: The chicken crossed the road cuz the otha chicks were on the otha side, O-K!!!?

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