Doomsday cult leader predicts nuclear war by Thursday, June 12, 2008

Back in 1998 -- as a lark -- I noted down the predictions of Web 'psychic' Elizabeth Joyce, and held on to 'em until the end of the year. There were some doozies: The Iraqi poison-gas attack on Israel! Giant volcanoes exploding all over the Pacific! An earthquake inundating the East Coast! Bill Clinton's resignation! Robert Duvall winning an Oscar!

About five percent of her 'prophecies' panned out. (Mostly Oscar picks.) And she's predicted Doomsday every year since.

It was a valuable learning experience. I take any prophecy of the end of the world very calmly nowadays.

If the world ends before i can play metal gear solid 4 i am going to be pissed.

I find that it's always good to schedule nuclear war weeks ahead. It prevents conflicts.

*ba dum!*

Nice, that's my Mom's birthday and I've been looking for something to get her. Are gask masks one-size-fits-all or do I have to ask her? That's always so awkward.

Actually this idiot has been predicting this over and over for the last few years, moving the date or changing the meaning of the prediction each time it doesn't come true. It's amazing that he has any followers left when he's wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME. I would quote all the dates here, but I just don't care enough to spend the time :) You can read about it in Wikipedia.

The End? I can't wait!!

Pros: If June 12, is the official...
...I got dibs on Florida.

Cons: I'm going to miss: The Hulk, The Happening, The Dark Knight, and most important, Harry Potter.

Crap. I had a big weekend planned too... Oh well...

Figures, my birthday is Friday the 13th, and some guy feels the need to ruin it.

Oh, dang it! And I'm just about to start learning how to drive a car and wanted to drive around this Summer break! :( Oh well, it this doesn't pan out I can always set my calender to the 2012 prophecy.

ahhhhhhh.....well at least that means i will only have to go to a job i hate with every fiber of my soul for another week....so there's some good that will come of it.

Apparently, the followers have to buy their supplies at inflated prices from a company owned by Hawkins.

I don't know what he's going to do with all that money if he actually thinks the world's going to end.

Boy will our faces be red if he's right!

Please, they've been predicting the end of the world for the last 2000 years. They've yet to get it right.

That is totally going to ruin the Metal Gear Solid 4 launch.

I've had my sights set on 2012 for a while now.

The bible says that if a prophet prophesies something that doesn't come true, that that prophet is NOT of God. (paraphrased)

So friday we will find out if they are from God or Satan.

hmmm

@shawnisboring that was my first thought too! "Damn, if the world ends I won't get to play MGS4...couldn't they delay doomsday for about a week?"

wow, the discrediting portion of the newscast really works.

These crazy cult guys never stop.

can be arranged - just call the russians. they seem to have a stockpile of that stuff still lying around. and with a bit of *ahem* financial aid, i'm sure that date can be held.

in all seriousness though: lunatics like this have been around since the beginning of time - i wonder what He is getting out of this financially or otherwise?

the world is going to end on my birthday? that sucks

yay...
lets look for tomorrow

if yes... man how about my exam at 13 and 19 ??

Always comes true for Jehovah's Witnesses too.... This guy is my idle. Not because he's a delicious pro(ph)fit, but because he has watchtowers and amazing quantities of guns. Hawt.

Ya, but does he know what time on Thursday?

Seriously tho, why is this on network news? Compared to what else is going on in the world, this is like reporting jaywalking.

It's time to hear "Insane In The Brain" from Cypress Hill again...

Why'd he have to pick thursday! At least push it back a few weeks so I can go on my vacation to Europe

He only has to be right once. Just once...

SWEET!

My birthday!

This is better than any birthday show....EVER!!!!!!

Geeze, can't he keep any secrets? Now, it's not going to surprise and we'll have to reschedule the whole blasted thing!

I'll bet his followers get through one truck load of rations then die for eating all the radiated food. Has he bothered to study not just what you need to survive, but where it must be stored?

Yawn. The world ends in 2012. Everyone knows that.
-OBOS

Should we be worried about one of these cults having a stockpile of nerve gas somewhere like Japan's Aum Shinrikyo cult, or am I being a little bit paranoid?

YES I go back to school on the 13th... now I don't have to!
RESULT!
Do you think I could get away with not turning up by using the end of the world as an excuse? It's worth a try...

Ummm bummer it will be the 12th in Oz before it is in Dumbfuck city in Texas.

I will stay up past 12 and if still here then will post an AOK. No post means duck and cover when it hits the 12th in your neck of the woods folks.

Anyone notice that that is the day after the new iphone release? Nuclear War is caused by shortages of the iphone.

Great, Doomsday on my Birthday, I feel special inside :)
lol..

Maybe he was born with it. Maybe its Abilene.

so whats he going to say if hes preficted wrong? Touchwood thats all ive got to say

June 12th? thats the day of my Kanye West concert! hell of a way to go out.. :D

Must get more canned bacon!

June 12 nuclear war? Metal Gear Solid 4 launch? Yup, this is definitely a viral video from Konami.

Oh Please let this man be right about there being a nuclear war this week!!!

This world has to go. I don't like it. Its an evil place.

No nuclear war yet (isn't that shocking?). Only about ten hours to go until 6/13.

hmm. 8 hours left...
doot doot doo...
Was that a mushroom cloud?
Later internetz, I'm going LOOTING!

5.5 hours to go & we are still here, can I drain the bathtub yet?

Well, 6/12 has come and gone, and it doesn't look like there was a nuclear war. PROPHECY FAIL!

"Let's start a war!
We'll start a nuclear war!
At the gay bar! Gay bar! Gay bar!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=q54LJ5RsqRw

So I rolled into my office this morning.. only to see a crater. Luckily I plugged directly into a satellite only to see that most of the midwest has been destroyed. I think he was right.

I'm going to go scrounge up a cockroach souffle.

Guess hes wrong seeing as its the 13TH!!! Besides, the world has to live long enough for Halo to come true.

Yes, Halo is the only accurate prediction of the future indeed.