Comments on: Caption Monkey 31: Bathroom Trouble on the Space Station

By: Alex

Alex — Thu, 29 May 2008 23:04:46 +0000

Hahaha! Great stuff, guys – Adam has just picked the winner. Congrats to trestleboy who won with this caption: “No. You misheard. The ship didn’t hit the fan.”

By: Gazza

Gazza — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:36:43 +0000

..LOGS IN SPACE..

Warning, Warning, Extreme Danger!

By: Evan Rappaport

Evan Rappaport — Thu, 29 May 2008 12:28:49 +0000

Can’t you fix it? This isn’t rocket science.

By: John Glade

John Glade — Thu, 29 May 2008 04:25:01 +0000

Ground control to Major Tom.
Put your Big Boy Pullups on.

By: Mike Johnson

Mike Johnson — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:34:03 +0000

Space Station: Uh…Ground Control?
Ground Control: Go ahead.
SS: Uhhh…yeah. We have a slight, um…problem…here.
GC: What is the nature of the problem? We show no negative readings here, go ahead.
SS: The nature of the problem is that we CAN’T go. IN the head, over.
GC: Say again?
SS: Ground Control, we can’t go. As in TO the BATHROOM. Over.
GC: Are the laxative supplements not working, over?
SS: That’s not the problem Ground Control. The problem is that the toilet has ceased functioning.
GC: Well ain’t that a pisser!
SS: Affirmative, Ground Control. Literally. There was a loud noise and the fan ceased working. There is no way to clear the liquid waste.
(Sounds of snickering from GC)
SS: Ground Control?
GC: Sorry guys…temporary static. You say you are unable to urinate?
SS: No. WE can urinate fine. We just can’t flush.
GC: You say this event began with a loud noise?
SS: Affirmative.
GC: Was this “noise” accompanied by any “odor?”
(More snickering)
SS: Negative. Is that laughter we are hearing, Ground Control?
GC: Uh…no. Just atmospheric interference. Sun spots or solar flare or something.
SS: This is serious, Ground Control. What is your recommended course of action?
GC: Hold…
SS: Roger that. We’ll hold.
GC: No. Seriously. Hold. As in “Hold it in.”
SS: You’ve GOT to be kidding. For how long?
GC: Long enough the folks at Guinness will be interested. We have to send up a repair crew.
SS: How long will THAT take?
GC: Well, let’s see…we’ll have to gather a crew, move the shuttle to the launch pad, fuel her up, do system checks…you know the usual. I’d say about three or four days.
SS: Say again?
GC: You heard me. Now buck up guys…this can be done. Just collect your, um, by-products as best as you can, and we’ll do the rest. You may want to cut down on the liquid intake too.
SS: What should we use to collect the liquid waste?
GC: You’ll figure something out. You’re astronauts, which is right up there with rocket scientists.
SS: But you guys ARE rocket scientists!
GC: Yeah. Pretty sweet, huh?
(More snickering)
SS: We heard that, Ground Control! You’re laughing at us!
GC: Sorry. But it IS pretty funny, you gotta admit.
SS: Yeah, REAL funny.
GC: maybe you could just open the window and…
SS: NOT funny!
(snickering)
SS: Look, we’ll do our best. But please get things moving. It could get pretty ugly up here.
GC: Not to mention wet and smelly.
SS: No shit.
GC: Hey…don’t invite trouble!
SS: Wha…oh yeah. Right. Let’s hope THAT keeps working.
GC: Hope nothing. Pray!
SS: Amen brother. Amen.

By: Daniel Kim

Daniel Kim — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:17:57 +0000

I knew this would happen when they brought up the Kim Chee!

(OK, a rather obscure reference to the fact that the Korean astronaut has Kim Chee – fermented cabbage – in his food pack.)

By: SenorMysterioso

SenorMysterioso — Thu, 29 May 2008 01:01:04 +0000

Sure they can put a man in space but can they make an unbreakable toilet?

By: Charles

Charles — Thu, 29 May 2008 00:40:14 +0000

“Boys, just go Texas style and wizz off the back porch!”

By: Jared

Jared — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:02:49 +0000

One small step for man, one giant poo for mankind

By: Ruth

Ruth — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:42:18 +0000

Uh-Oh! Break out the Depends!!

By: Quantum Entanglement

Quantum Entanglement — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:33:16 +0000

“In space, everyone can hear your stream!”

By: Dan

Dan — Wed, 28 May 2008 20:48:25 +0000

Captains Log……….

By: dncucf

dncucf — Wed, 28 May 2008 20:45:56 +0000

Well, is there a McDonalds that we can dock with ???

(Husbands/boyfriends will understand this comment)

By: MKOKC

MKOKC — Wed, 28 May 2008 20:17:13 +0000

* In space, no one can hear you flush.

* I didn’t think this mission would be exploring Uranus.

By: Jeff666666

Jeff666666 — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:38:31 +0000

“If we blow it out the air lock, think it’ll burn up on re-entry?”

By: Kevin

Kevin — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:28:17 +0000

“Yes we have a cabin filled with floating feces and urine, but it still beats the hell out of flying Southwest.”

By: Kevin

Kevin — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:22:37 +0000

“Look, I TOLD you to go before we left.”

By: heather

heather — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:02:25 +0000

“Oh dear Lord, It’s worst that we could have imagined…The toilet’s broken and WE’RE OUT OF BEER!”

By: Christophe

Christophe — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:36:20 +0000

how far is the outhouse?

By: z

Wed, 28 May 2008 18:22:41 +0000

Just hold it ’til you get to work! It won’t matter! You’re always telling us they don’t know sh*t, right?

By: Evan Rappaport

Evan Rappaport — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:02:40 +0000

Whew! Someone open an airlock in here.

By: konaha

konaha — Wed, 28 May 2008 16:40:30 +0000

“Hope they won’t notice the extra space debris floating around?”

By: konshuss

konshuss — Wed, 28 May 2008 16:38:14 +0000

er, mission control… that ain’t dark matter.

By: SenorMysterioso

SenorMysterioso — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:58:16 +0000

You know that rumored million dollar toilet you always hear congress spent money on? Should have got the two million dollar model

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:47:05 +0000

Are we there yet?

By: Bananafeller

Bananafeller — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:38:47 +0000

Houston we need a whole lot of bottle real fast. And please send up the ones with the wide mouth, its hard to aim in zero gravity.

By: Spacey

Spacey — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:51:12 +0000

A1: Aw, sh*t!

A2: No, sh*t?

A1: Yea…, no sh*t.

By: jan

jan — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:49:30 +0000

Yeah, it may be great for skiers but what about us snowboarders?

or,,,

Waste of space.

By: Evan Rappaport

Evan Rappaport — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:48:01 +0000

Plumber, we have a problem.

By: Evan Rappaport

Evan Rappaport — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:46:17 +0000

HAL, flush the toilet please…… HAL.

By: Mick

Mick — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:52:08 +0000

“OK people, from now on, whatever you do, dont float around with your mouth open!”

By: trestleboy

trestleboy — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:34:12 +0000

No. You misheard. The ship didn’t hit the fan.

By: Lorem Ipsum

Lorem Ipsum — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:16:09 +0000

Houston, go ahead and cancel that shipment of coolant. … What? … Yes, we… found some. In storage.

By: Ratz

Ratz — Wed, 28 May 2008 12:13:14 +0000

If it’s brown, flush it down, if it’s yellow, let it mellow.

By: cwilliamson

cwilliamson — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:56:24 +0000

Okay, Volkov, we get it…no more captain’s log jokes.

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:45:29 +0000

When your space toilet breaks down, call Ass-tro Plumber!

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:18:50 +0000

The space station inhabitants were not amused when ground control decided to wake them up by playing the “Chocolate Rain” song.

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:09:03 +0000

“You can either pass me the Drano, or I’m going to, sure as hell, make it rain-o!”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:04:23 +0000

“We’re saved! I’ve just received word that the space shuttle is going to bring us up some extra absorbent Hubble Huggies.”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:58:37 +0000

As it turns out, Lisa Nowak was way ahead of her time.

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:56:38 +0000

“Where did we store the Space Pampers?”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:49:31 +0000

“Until the toilet gets fixed, we have to ‘Howard Hughes’ it for a while.”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:44:50 +0000

NASA is currently consulting with Barry Bonds on how to create a makeshift Whizzinator.

By: LMSJoe

LMSJoe — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:41:10 +0000

In space, no one can hear you flush.

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:38:26 +0000

“I’m going outside to drain the lizard…D’oh!”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:34:03 +0000

Instead of a crude, childish joke, urinating into coffee pots has now become a necessity.

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:27:21 +0000

“Houston, we’re all out of Sunny D. All we have left is smelly pee. Do you copy? Over.”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:23:56 +0000

“Whose in the mood for some liquid sunshine -er- I mean Russian moonshine?”

By: salpara

salpara — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:23:22 +0000

“Well, the shit has really hit the fan now…er, wait…it won’t hit the fan. That’s the problem!”

By: Pristine Apostle

Pristine Apostle — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:21:08 +0000

COSMONAUGHT: “I’m tired of Tang. Anyone up for some lemonade?”

ASTRONAUGHT: “What brand? Country Style?”

COSMONAUGHT: “Uhm…’U-Brew’?”