If Chuck Norris Were Elected Vice President ...

Posted by Alex in Politics on May 21, 2008 at 4:42 pm


Chuck Norris once wrote a column If I am elected president, in which he listed things he will do in the Oval Office. Well, it seems that he won’t get that chance to be president, but the race on vice presidency is still wide open … so here are the things Chuck Norris would do if he’s elected Vice President:

It really doesn’t matter whose presidential ticket I ride on as vice president, since America will be a Chucktatorship when I step into office. If I am elected vice president, I promise to unilaterally fulfill these pledges within my first 30 days in office:

If I win on McCain’s ticket, consider the Middle East wars over. Our enemies are toast.

If I win on Hillary’s ticket, I promise you that Bill will stay out of the Oval Office and on his Total Gym. If he argues with me, I will put him on latrine duty throughout the whole White House.

If I win on Obama’s ticket, I will appoint Barack as co-editor with Oprah for my new political magazine, "Uh-O!"

Link – via Conservative Grapevine (Photo: Cpl. Lynn Murillo [wikipedia])


Previous post
this post? Please Email this               
Next post


FUN PRODUCTS FROM THE NEATORAMA SHOP:


COMMENT

12 comments to "If Chuck Norris Were Elected Vice President ..."

  1. Geekazoid
    May 21st, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Looks like Chuckie would actually be able to accomplish things while in office.

  2. bean
    May 21st, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    The Chuck Norris thing stopped being cute or funny three years ago.

  3. CheeseDuck
    May 21st, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Chuck Norris FTW! WOO! I'd vote for Chuck Norris. :D

  4. Greengirl
    May 21st, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    hmmm taking the North Pole and changing the names of other countries makes him seem like a jerk.

  5. Moodindigo
    May 22nd, 2008 at 2:40 am

    I have a horrible feeling that the last few years of exposure on t'interweb has given him an inflated sense of political self worth. What a douche.

  6. Thomas
    May 22nd, 2008 at 2:46 am

    I've lost a lot of respect for Chuck Norris lately. The jokes are funny, but only when he's not involved personally.

  7. Doug
    May 22nd, 2008 at 6:05 am

    Not a fan of the ultra-conservative Chuck Norris.

  8. j.d.
    May 22nd, 2008 at 10:31 am

    chuck norris has jumped the shark. officially. with the original post on the main page.

    His movies were b-rated (except when he was not the main character, such as Bruce Lee), his politics are beyond absurd and cannot stand against even slight scrutiny....He isn't even a conservative ffs! Everything he stands for is to expand government and intrude into our lives.

    ...so why do we continue glorifying him, even out of mockery?

    There should be an anti-Chuck movement.

    The only reason he is popular today is because Huckabee gave him credibility. And we should take that platform away from him.

  9. Jacques
    May 22nd, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Chuck, go away.

  10. Johnny Cat
    May 22nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Agreed. Norris = old news, not funny anymore.

  11. phoenix
    May 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    I was gonna snark about how Chuck Norris and his "meat meat sports beer" approach to everything is played out, but damn did other commenters get to it first. :D

  12. Alex
    May 22nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Hmmm... meat ... Chuck FTW!


PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT

Neatorama Comment Policy
You don't have to register or login to comment, but it's easier if you do so. Comments aren't censored, but those that are abusive or off-topic may be edited or deleted.


Stay updated on the comments with Comment RSS