Chuck Norris once wrote a column If I am elected president, in which he listed things he will do in the Oval Office. Well, it seems that he won't get that chance to be president, but the race on vice presidency is still wide open ... so here are the things Chuck Norris would do if he's elected Vice President:
It really doesn't matter whose presidential ticket I ride on as vice president, since America will be a Chucktatorship when I step into office. If I am elected vice president, I promise to unilaterally fulfill these pledges within my first 30 days in office:
If I win on McCain's ticket, consider the Middle East wars over. Our enemies are toast.
If I win on Hillary's ticket, I promise you that Bill will stay out of the Oval Office and on his Total Gym. If he argues with me, I will put him on latrine duty throughout the whole White House.
If I win on Obama's ticket, I will appoint Barack as co-editor with Oprah for my new political magazine, "Uh-O!"