Nutzapper and Other Really Dirty Racehorse Names

Posted by Alex in Animal, Sports on May 2, 2008 at 12:27 pm


Just in time for Kentucky Derby, here’s a list of dirty, names of racehorses:

Earlier this year, a man named Andy Hillis decided to christen his racehorse Nutzapper. A Tonight Show guest had used the term when referring, jokingly, to a male contraceptive; since his horse had been gelded, Hillis thought he had a good fit. But naming a Thoroughbred isn’t as simple as coming up with a good double-entendre. The Jockey Club, the 103-year-old organization that holds the reins to the Sport of Kings in North America, has to sign off on every moniker. Hillis explained to the registry poobahs that as a young boy in Canada, he loved to zap walnuts in boiling oil and sprinkle them on salads. Satisfied that the name had a tasty, not tasteless, origin, the Jockey Club approved Nutzapper. Hillis, unable to contain his glee, boasted about the name to a Daily Racing Form reporter. "I’ve never even been to Canada," he said. "I just made the whole thing up on the spot."

Hillis shouldn’tve boasted – the Jockey Club barred his name afterwards. But Slate has found some really dirty and weird names that apparently went under the association registrars’ noses. For example:

You want explicit commands? How about Blow Me (1945), Get It On (both 1971 and 1986), On Your Knees (1977 and 2005), Spank It (1985), or 1963’s Go Down, whose sire, of course, was Service. Like ‘em young? Embarrassingly enough, Jail Bait (1947 and 1983), Barely Legal (1982 and 1989), and Date More Minors (1998) all made it into the staid registry.

A Slate article by T.D. Thornton: Link – via FanIQ, thanks Geoff Bough!


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COMMENT

12 comments to "Nutzapper and Other Really Dirty Racehorse Names"

  1. fsmarch
    May 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Brings to mind how people try to push the envelope on vanity plates for their cars, just to see what they can get away with.

  2. OddNumber
    May 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    "Date More Minors"? I think the police need to check into that horse's owner.

  3. OddNumber
    May 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    I don't get why people push the envelope with their vanity plates. Similarly, I don't understand why so many people put truck nutz on their trucks.

  4. heather
    May 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    I think jockeys name their horses dirty names just so the announcer has to say them out loud during the race.

    My favorite is a horse named 'Hoof Hearted'. It doesn't sound bad at first, but try saying it a couple of times fast. You'll get it :D

  5. Ali S.
    May 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    @ Heather

    OMG! That's awesome. I didn't get it until said it really fast and loudly. My boss wasn't impressed as my colleagues around me. :D

    Ok, if I ever have a horse to name it would be,"My Donut needs more sprinkles!" Just to hear the announcer saying that all the time would be hilarious. Every listener would wonder if the announcer is really mad at the intern for not getting him a better donut with sprinkles...or insane. ;)

  6. CheeseDuck
    May 2nd, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Hah. Nice

  7. Louisa
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Years ago, I saw a clip of a horse race and one of the horses was named Crazy MotherF*cker or something very similar. The announcer was desperately trying to avoid saying that horse's name. He did a great job and the audio was hilarious. Does anyone else remember that?

  8. Alannah
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    "Wrecked Em"

    I had to say that one aloud about five times before I got it. I'm not feeling terribly bright today.

  9. Miss Cellania
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    We had a video of Hoof Hearted here on Neatorama a while back.
    http://www.neatorama.com/2007/09/09/hoof-hearted/

  10. cuimhne
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:36 am

    How about "Norfolk n' Chance"? If I had a racehorse that's what I'd name it.

  11. little gator
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Don't forget it's only been a few years since the Kentucky Derby had an entry named Rock Hard Ten.

  12. Thomas
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    those damn dirty jockeys.


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