A Typical Day in Brazoria, Texas

Posted by Alex in Crime & Law on April 16, 2008 at 11:44 am


Here’s a typical day in Brazoria, Texas, according to its sheriff:

When William Johnson made a couple of suspicious U-Turns at the intersection of Texas 35 and 288 early Sunday a state trooper pulled him over.

Then the trooper noticed a 6-foot alligator contentedly riding next to the back window of Johnson’s car. Johnson said he found the gator on the side of a road.

But it was allegations that Johnson had been taking things out of a mobile home in the nearby town of Brazoria that sent him to jail on a burglary charge. Investigators found a hair trimmer and video game controller in his pockets. [...]

Early Sunday a resident of a local mobile home park said Johnson knocked on his door and asked for help hauling a big television out of a mobile home, Longbotham said.

"The neighbor told him that’s not your house," the chief said. [...] "Just a typical day in Brazoria," the chief sighed.

Link – via Arbroath

Update 4/17/08: Photo of the alligator


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COMMENT

16 comments to "A Typical Day in Brazoria, Texas"

  1. jessleigh
    April 16th, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    He had a water moccasin in his car too, one that had already bitten him?!?!?!?!?!?! What in the world was he going to do with a poisonous snake and a gator? Who knew there were gators in Texas? This article leads me to so many questions.

  2. Cindy
    April 16th, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    too bad he didn't use that hair trimmer

  3. Paul
    April 16th, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    Trash is Trash is Trash.

  4. CheeseDuck
    April 16th, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Wait. He stole a gator and a snake from a random mobile home?

  5. seekshelter
    April 16th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    hahah.. ive been there.. Brazoria is a tiny little town. maybe 3000 people. its kinda not near anything.

  6. natalie
    April 16th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    My last roommate was from Brazoria. She just said Lake Jackson if anyone asked.

  7. iusMateo
    April 16th, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    This remind me Bill Hicks jokes about rednecks :)

  8. Alannah
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Wow. If that's a typical day I don't want to go anywhere near this place.
    "seekshelter"
    3000 people is a tiny town? What the hell does that make my town, with 249 people?

  9. seekshelter
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    yeah... everyone from the area just says Lake Jackson..haha... um... i live in austin now, but if you say Lake Jackson, random people chime in about knowing someone from there.

  10. sandburr
    April 16th, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Yes, that does describe a typical day in Brazoria, Texas. I grew up close to that intersection of 288 and 35 and have seen things like this and worse. Stupid rednecks for sure.

  11. seekshelter
    April 16th, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    i just remembered a story that happened close to that intersection... driving in a car, got a flat.. didnt have a jack. standing there trying to figure out what to do and a truck pulls up behind us. some old dude get out with a whip and tells us to move away from the car. ....he was being nice, he produced a jack and changed the tire for us. that was the one and only time i have ever had a whip pulled on me.

  12. oezicomix
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:31 am

    are you sure the sheriff wasn't stoned and watching "my name is earl"?

  13. Jose E Montes
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:03 am

    I am living there now. The sheriff is right! It is typical for that place. I drive to up to Houston often to clear my head.

  14. josh
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:35 am

    never knew so many texans read neatorama!

    i think everyone here in east texas has a story about some one from lake jackson (no one will say they live in brazoria......lol)

  15. Eirlys
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    Lovely. I'm from Angleton but I used to live in Brazoria. This is the what... 3rd time or so I've read about the hick part of the county (brazoria, sweeny, west columbia, damon) in neatorama. I used to think brazoria was just full of sweet old country people. Now I think maybe they need some fresh blood because the gene pool is becoming a little too... consolidated.

  16. In Abashment
    April 21st, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    I know this man personally. I would like to state however if things in his life were different he could have made a great Steve Erwin (sp?). He’s only 30 there’s still time. There has to be a better idea for social reform ability and stability. This man would make a great outdoorsman if only he would conform to society. I will gladly state on his part that he is (somewhat) of an imbalanced individual. I stand in amazement of what genetics and environment can do to a person. I say that with love. HOWEVER, I’m happy to say that he has been a cold blooder since he could walk. Throughout his life having fish, lizards, turtles, snakes, spiders, frogs and really anything else that one would normally leave outside in the wild and walk away from. He also was a very good reptile daddy as he personally caught all of their food from the wild. As far as the TV, razor and video controller go, these are my thoughts: he was planning to play video games on his stolen television after possibly procuring the matching video console. I’m sure he just forgot to remove it when the tv got broken. Also it looks like the razor may have been broken as well. I’m withholding my name due to shear embarrassment.


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