Om lingalingalinalinga, kilikili: Atheist Pwns Black Magic Guru

1. Gerry
   March 25th, 2008 at 6:11 am

   Scarier: These are people with NUCLEAR WEAPONS….

2. jack.wh
   March 25th, 2008 at 6:12 am

   If it is common belief that Tantrik’s have the power to kill, then Sanal must’ve been pretty brave to risk his life. Quite a thought provoking story! I’m an atheist myself but I’m being scared witless if some guy threatened to kill me with magic!

3. murre-
   March 25th, 2008 at 6:46 am

   This is so awesome! I’d love to see the clip with subtitles.

4. S-r-ex
   March 25th, 2008 at 6:57 am

   ep1c ph41l!!!

   Why didn’t he just take the easy path with “avada kedavra”? srsly, if there is any god, it’s Deep Thought! 42 FTW!

5. NiteWhite
   March 25th, 2008 at 7:34 am

   In the USA people believe in a sky-fairy that intervenes in people’s lives - not much different than that shaman.

6. matt
   March 25th, 2008 at 8:32 am

   It’s too bad that no matter how many people with oddball beliefs get debunked on a grand scale such as this, society at large doesn’t quit believing in said oddball-ness.

   or, maybe it’s not too bad. it does feed the funny, doesn’t it?

7. PhineusQButterfat
   March 25th, 2008 at 8:32 am

   If I were the anchor I would just suddenly drop to the floor and lay there as though I had been struck dead for a few minutes. Then I’d stand up and laugh. I would have the restraint not to mess with the shaman like that!

   What, mystic? You’ve soiled your loin cloth?

8. PhineusQButterfat
   March 25th, 2008 at 8:34 am

   <>

   Correction: I meant to type “I would NOT have the restraint…”

   There’s no way I could hold back!

9. Jsahko
   March 25th, 2008 at 8:51 am

   Nice mystic. So anxious to prove his faith that he’d actually kill someone if he could.

   I hope at the least he’d be put in prison if it had worked.

10. jean
    March 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    That’s funny!

11. Louise
    March 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I’d love to see a show like that is the US. We would start with “Saddam had weapons of mass destruction” and “Iran is helping Al Qaeda.” We could move on to “Most Black people get welfare” and “Most welfare goes to Black people.” Then something like “Tax cuts for the wealthy bring prosperity to all” and “Universal healthcare is a socialist failure.”

    Have Steven Colbert host it. He knows that facts have a well-known Liberal bias.

12. Tony LaRocca
    March 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    >>>NiteWhite said: In the USA people believe in a sky-fairy that intervenes in people’s lives - not much different than that shaman.

    The big difference is you don’t see Christians challenging others on live TV to a smite-fest.

    The secret to all magic is the belief of the person the magic is being practiced upon.

13. smelly girl
    March 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    “The secret to all magic is the belief of the person the magic is being practiced upon.”

    yeah, i was going to say… this was not really a fair contest.

    everyone knows that atheists are immune to black magic, possession, ESP, ghosts, alien abduction, homeopathy, eternal damnation, and lake monsters. among other things.

14. Steohawk
    March 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    I think Tony had a good point, but smelly girl misunderstood it. She obviously confused atheists with general skeptics. Atheists don’t believe in God, but they can certainly believe in ESP, alien abduction, and lake monsters. Some atheists even believe in “spiritual” concepts, but they just don’t attribute them to God.

    There have been plenty of cases of people dying after a black magician “cursed” them, but skeptics actually have theories about that. They often believe that if a person has a strong enough belief in black magic, then it can have a psychological effect on them. On the other hand, believers argue that disbelief can actually ward off magic. As a Wiccan, I don’t think either theory can suffice in all cases.

15. someguy
    March 25th, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    What is this about a sky fairy?

16. oakling
    March 25th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    I was going to say the thing about how it’s actually people’s belief that they have been cursed that gets them! Supposedly there are examples of people dying as a result, but I think it would have to be awfully rare or awfully intense belief - or helped by outside hands.

17. DDT
    March 25th, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    “Scarier: These are people with NUCLEAR WEAPONS”

    Yeah, like Westerners who believe in a guy named Jesus who also did magic spells of his own, except he’s not weird at all right? He’s the exception. Pfft.

    “everyone knows that atheists are immune to black magic, possession, ESP, ghosts, alien abduction, homeopathy, eternal damnation, and lake monsters. among other things.”

    If that was the case then everyone would be an atheist. What cannot kill you can only make you stronger right? What’s this “everybody knows” you state? Are you saying it’s a scientific fact, that has actually been proven using the scientific method? If so, please tell me the book.

    What kills me, like other skeptics, is that when something is challenged like this black magic, and it doesn’t go to plan, people who believe try to think of all the reasons as to why it didn’t work. “Oh, uhh, I forgot. It has to be done at night, in the dark”. Well, if that was the case then why didn’t he set it up like that in the first place? Imagine if your surgeon screws up like that “ohh, I forgot I was supposed to sedate him, no wonder he didn’t “fall asleep”.”

    “The secret to all magic is the belief of the person the magic is being practiced upon.”

    Yes and no. Yes, if someone believes in black magic, and they go through a tough time, which causes someone to travel through a downward spiral, that it could be the result of black magic, but only if they associate their problems with black magic. However, maybe there are other reasons which could have caused the downward spiral? Imagine everyone blaming their debt problems on being cursed, but not blaming themselves because of their own faults. I mean, look how many idiots believed in Y2K? Did all those people die, or vanish into thin air because of that belief? No. They believed in it so much, and nothing happened.

    I am not an atheist, but this guy called this so called master out because he ran his mouth. And he got pwnd at his own game. 1337

18. shecky
    March 25th, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    The reason it didn’t work is that the mantra, “Om lingalingalinalinga, kilikili” is all wrong. For success, this is the one to use:

    “Mecca lecca hi mecca hiney ho!”

    Well, it works for choking chickens, anyway.

19. phoenix
    March 25th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Hah! Best challenge ever! Reminds me of that Family Guy ep where Stewie and Brian snag the Pope with a balloon:

    The Pope: You makea da pope look a like a fool. God will make you pay.

    (Looks to the sky and points down at Stewie and Brian): Smite them!

    (After looking at the sky for a few seconds): He’s a cookin a somethin’ up.

20. shecky
    March 25th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    When I was a kid, everyone told me that every Sunday, this guy in a frock would turn some wine and crackers into blood and flesh. Not symbolically. Actual blood and flesh.

    The blood never tasted anything like the blood from a cut finger. And the flesh, though having the color of pale skin, always tasted like a stale cracker.

    I still can’t believe people buy into that stuff.

21. aj
    March 25th, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    @DDT

    “everyone knows that atheists are immune to black magic, possession, ESP, ghosts, alien abduction, homeopathy, eternal damnation, and lake monsters. among other things.”

    If that was the case then everyone would be an atheist. What cannot kill you can only make you stronger right? What’s this “everybody knows” you state? Are you saying it’s a scientific fact, that has actually been proven using the scientific method? If so, please tell me the book.

    Sarcasm detector broken?

22. Kevin
    March 26th, 2008 at 9:50 am

    Lots of ignorance and hatefulness in this thread…

23. Tony LaRocca
    March 26th, 2008 at 11:48 am

    >>>DDT said: I mean, look how many idiots believed in Y2K? Did all those people die, or vanish into thin air because of that belief? No. They believed in it so much, and nothing happened.

    While Y2K was seriously over-hyped as something that would bring about the end of civilization, it was a real threat to many computer systems. The reason these systems didn’t crash is because programmers and engineers worked around the clock for months to fix the problem.

24. Man or Monster
    March 26th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    “Lots of ignorance and hatefulness in this thread…”

    Welcome to the Internet. I take it you’re new here.

25. phoenix
    March 26th, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    @Louise: That’s fabulous. I’d love to see Colbert take on those topics!

26. uzair
    June 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    my uncle is a world class magician no one can beat my uncle my uncle have king of ghost my uncle name is muhammad kaleem ullah khan i am challanging all magician

27. kaleem
    June 12th, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    my name is muhammad kaleem ullah khan . my date of birth is 28/2/1946. i am challanging all the magician in this world . is there any one who can break my magic i am a black magicain no one can beat me in this world .no one can break my magic if some one spell me i will reverse his spell to him i am challanging all magicain to beat me i have there sons mateen , mubeen ,moiz and her mother name is salma if some one spell to my son i will reverse his spell to him i am challanging to all magician to beat me .

28. ilovechoclate
    December 15th, 2008 at 12:25 am

    kaleem bhai, can i contact you, please reply me your phone number or personal email address at ali_hashmani@yahoo.com

29. sunil
    January 3rd, 2009 at 2:34 am

    namste guruji,
    i want learn vashikran vidya can i learn if yes. so tell me your fees and how many day course.

30. AMEL_SONAME
    March 16th, 2009 at 9:57 am

    SYMPTONS OF BLACK MAGIC;
    ASSLAM O ALKUM
    FRIEND NOW I AM GOING TO TELL YOU THE SYMPTONS OF BLACK MAGIC.
    IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE SYMPTONS THEN YOU ARE ALSO SUFFERING FROM BLACK MAGIC.
    1) IF SOME ONE SAWS MOTION OR URINE IN HIS DREAM OR SAW HIM SELF IN BATHROOM OR WITH THE MOTION ATTACHED TO HIS BODY, SAW HIMSELF/HERSELF IN UNHYGINIC CONDITION.
    2) HEADACH.
    3) THE WHOLE BODY IS IN PAIN.
    4) THE ONE WISHES OR WANTS TO DO SEX.
    5) BACHACE OR HAD PAIN IN KIDNEYS
    6) SMEELY FATS.
    7) FEELS WARMTH/FIRE IN BODY.
    THE WHOLE BODY REMAINS WARM AND HOT WIND BLOWS FOUT OF MOUTH.
    9) EYES REMAIN RED AND FEELS IRRITATION IN EYES.
    10) YOU FEEL TO GO TO BATHROOM AFTER A LITTLE WHILE FOR URINE AND MOTION.
    11) FAST HEAT BEATS.
    12) DIFFUCULTY IN BREATHING AND HAVE CHEST PAIN.
    13) BECAME IRRITANT.
    14) FACE COMPLEXION CHANGES AND BECAME DARKER DAY BY DAY. THE MORE WORSE THE MAGIC IS THE MORE YOUR COMPLEXION WILL BE CAME DARKER.
    15) FEEL PAIN IN STOMACH AND YOU WILL BE HAVING DEARIA LIKE STIUATION.
    16) PIMPLES APPEAR ON FACE.
    17) FACE BECAME TERRIBEL NO ATTRACTION LEFT BEHIND IN FACE.
    18) FEELING EXIETY.
    19) BECAME IMPATIANCE.
    20) YOU HAVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN LIFE BUT STILL YOU DON’T FEEL HAPPY.
    21) WHAT EVER YOU EAT YOU FEEL HUNGRY AGAIN IN HALF TO 1 HOUR.
    22) YOU DON’T WISH TO OFFER PRAYER AND DAY BY DAY YOU GO AWAY FROM RELIGION.
    23) ALWAZ YOU HAVE THROT PROBLEM AND THE VOICE QULAITY IS ALSO AFFECTED.
    24) GOT AFRAID IN DREAMS. SOMETIMES SAW SNAKES, SPIDER, LIZART, AND COCKROCHES IN DREAM.
    25) YOU GOT FEAR IN YOUR HEART AND YOU ALSO GET AFRAID.
    26) FEELS LIKE SOME ONE INJECTING PINS IN BODY.
    27) GOT PAIN IN STOMACH AND FEEL NOSIA.
    28) BECAME LAZY. AND SLEEP FOR LONGER DURATIONS.
    29) YOU FORGET WHERE YOU PUT THINGS AND SPEND REST OF DAY IN FINDING. IN MONEY TRANSCTION GIVE MORE MONEY.
    30) STARTS HATING YOUR SELF.
    DIFFERENT TYPES OF MAGIC HAS DIFFERENT SYMPTIONS. BUT THE ONE I WIRTE BEFORE ARE ALSO PRESENT. NOW THIS IS UPON THE MAGICIAN WHAT SORT OF PAIN HE WANA TO GIVE TO THE VICITIM. FOR EXAMPLE IF MAGICIAN WANT TO MAKE SOME GIRL DISRESPECTFUL IN SOCIETY AND WANA TO MAKE HIS PARENTS ASHAMED INSOCIETY. THEN HE WILL DO THAT KIND OF MAGIC THAT INCRESES HER SEX APEAL AND THEN STARTS CONTROLLING HER MIND WITH HIS MAGIC. HE WILL DO SUCH MAGIC THAT MAKES HER HEART WILLING TO DO SEX. HE WILL MAKE HER BODY HOT SO THAT SHE BECAME HOT. HE WILL DOO SUCH MAGIC THAT MADE HER STOP THINKING THEN DOO THIS THAT SHE WILL BE AWAY FROM OFFERING PRAYERS AND QURAN BECAUSE OFFERING PRAYERS AND RECITING QURAN BREAK MAGIC.
    THIS IS THE MAGIC OF SEX THIS IS MAINLY DONE COZ OF JEALOUSY TO MAKE SOME ONE HORRE, IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION THE GIRLS MIND STOP WORKING THE ONLY THOUGHT SHE HAD IN MIND IS MAKING SEX AND SHE DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH HER SHE ALWAZ THINKS ABOUT THIS AND ATLAST SHE DID THIS WITH SOMEONE. THIS IS THE MAGIC OF SEX.
    MANY PEOPLE SAID THIS QURAN CANT BREAK MAGIC AND THEY THINGS WE CAN ONLY STAP IRON WITH IRON HAMMER.(MAGIC BREAKS MAGIC ) IF SOME ONES MAGIC IS NOT BREAKING THEN THERE MUST BE A REASON BEHIND THIS AND THAT IS ALSO NOT COMPULSULORY THAT EVERY KIND OF MAGIC CAN BREAK ONLY BY RECITING 4 QUL. DOCTORS DON’T USE SAME/ONE MEDICINES TO CURE DIFFERENT DISESES SAME IS IN THIS CASE WE NEED TO FIND THE SYMPTONS AND THEN FIND OUT WAT KIND OF MAGIS IS HAPPENING. DIFFERENT SURAHS ARE USED TO CUT DIFFERENT MAGICS EACH SURAH HAS ITS OWN USES 4 QUL NOT ALWAZ CUT EACH TYPE OF MAGIC.
    REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.
    ALLAH HAFIZ
    AMEL SONAME
    (AMEL_SONAME@YAHOO)

31. AMEL_SONAME
    March 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am

    BLACK MAGIC-VOODOO DOLL MAGIC- BREAK THIS TYPE OF MAGIC WITH THE HELP OF QURANIC VERSES —

    ASSLAM O ALKUM
    THAT KIND OF MAGIC IN WHICH THE MAGICIAN MADE WAX VODOO AND FABRIC VODOO OR FLOUR DOLLS AND THEN INJECT PINS IN DIFFERENT PLACES OF THAT VODOO DOLL BECAUSE OF THIS TYPE OF MAGIC THE PERSON/VICTIM BECAME A SORT OF PARALIZED. THE MAGICIAN TIME TO TIME INJECT PINIS IN DIFFERENT PARTS/PLACES OF THAT VODO DOLL BECAUSE OF THIS THE PERSON/VICTIM THAN ALWAZ REMAIN IN GREAT PAIN IN DIFFERENT TIMES OF DAY AT DIFFERENT PLACES/PARTS OF HIS BODY. THE VICTIM ALWAZ FEELS LIKE SOMEONE IS INJECTED PINS IN HIS BODY HE IS ALWAS IN A CONSTANT PAIN. THE BAD THING ABOUT THIS MAGIC IS THAT THERE ARE NO VALID VISIBLE SYMPTONS OF THIS MAGIC IN THIS THE VICTIM FEELS LIKE ATONCE SOME POSIONOUS INSECT LIKE SCORPICO/SNAKE BIT/STINGS HIM THIS IS SO PAINFUL THAT ANY WEAK PERSON CAN START CRYING BECAUSE OF PAIN. THE VICTIM IS IN GREAT PAIN AND NOW IF THAT PERSON GO SOMEWHERE FOR TREATMENT THE PAIN INCREASES TO ITS EXTEND THAT THE VICTIM THINKS OF LEAVING THE TREATMEMT AND THINKS MITE BE THIS IS IN HIS LUCK TO BE IN PAIN. FOR THE TREATMENT OF SUCH PERSON/VICTIM MAGICIAN NEED A GREAT LEVEL OF PATIANCE AND TIME TO PROCURE THIS, IN HUSTLE THE VICTIM WILL BE AGIAIN IN GREAT PAIN.
    I AM HERE GOING TO TELL YOU THE PROCEDURE THROUGH WHICH YOU CAN GET RID OF THIS TYPE OF MAGIC THROUGH QURAN.
    FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTION
    AFTER FAJAR PRAYER SIT WHILE FACING TOWARD KHANA KABA/KIBLA KEPT WITH YOUR SELF FRESH WATER AND 7 FRESH LEAVES OF BARE; RECITE ANY DAROOD PAK THAT YOU KNOW WELL 707 TIMES, SURAH FATEHA WITH BISMILLAH HERRAHAM NERAHEEM (EACH TIME) 41 TIMES AND LAST 2 VERSES OF SURAH BAKARA VERSE NO 284-285

    ????? ?????????? ????? ??????? ???????? ??? ???????? ????????????????  ? ????? ????? ????????? ??????????????? ?????????? ?????????? ??? ?????????  ?????? ?????? ???? ????????? ? ????????? ????????? ??????????? ? ???????????  ???????? ?????????? ?????????? ????? ??? ????????? ??????? ??????? ??????  ????????? ? ????? ??? ???????? ??????????? ??? ??????????? ? ????????  ??? ???????????? ??? ????????? ???? ??????????? ? ???????? ????? ????????  ????????? ??????? ????? ?????????? ????? ????????? ??? ????????? ? ????????  ????? ???????????? ??? ??? ??????? ????? ???? ? ??????? ?????? ?????????  ????? ???????????? ? ????? ?????????? ??????????? ????? ????????? ?????????????  ?????

    SURAH FALAK 41 TIME , SURAH KAFERON 41 TIMES; SURAH IKHLAS 41 TIMES; SURAH NAS 41 TIMES; RECITE THIS OVER WATER AND BARE LEAVES. NOW BOIL SMALL QUANITY OF THIS RECITED WATER SEPARATELY AND THE REST OF WATER BOIL WITH THE BARE LEAVES AND TAKE SHOWER/BATH WITH THIS WATER. NOW AFTER DOING BATH WTH THIS WATER RECITE (DAM) AYAT-UL-KURSI AND 4 QULL ON YOUR SELF. BY THE GRACE OF ALLAH TALLAH IN 21 DAY OR IF NOT THAN IN 40 DAYS YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FINALLY GET RID OF THIS TYPE OF MAGIC FOR EVER.
    REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS
    AMEL SONAME
    (AMEL_SONAME@YAHOO)

32. AMEL_SONAME
    March 16th, 2009 at 10:01 am

    BLACK MAGIC- BREAK LOVE SPELLS THROUGH QURAN.
    ASSALAM O ALLAKUM
    SOME PEOPLE SPECIALLY GO TO MAGICIAN AND ASK HIM SPECIALLY TO MADE THIS SPELL HAPPEN ON HID/HER LOVE ONE. MEN WOMEN BOTH ARE INCULDED IN THIS; THEY DO SUCH KIND OF HEX ON THE WHOM THEY LOVE AND THEY WANT THE OTHER PERSON ALSO LOVE THEM BUT THEY MITE NOT KNOW THE SEVERE PAIN IN WHICH THE OTHER PERSON IS IN. I FORBADE ALL OF YOU WHO GOTTA DO OR THINKING OF DOING THIS HEX ON THE OTHER PERSON. THERE ARE MANY SIDEEFFECTS OF THIS TYPE OF HEX, TO TAKE CONTROL ON OTHERS MIND AND TO NAB HIM IN UR LOVE. ONE NEED TO DO SO MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OH HEXS ON THAT PERSON AS A RESULT OF WHICH THE PERSON BECAME MANAIC AND DOTTER SUCH AVICTIM LOOSES HIS SENCES, EVERY MOMENT THE VICTIM THINKS ABOUT THE INFESTOR (THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR DOING THE HEX) THERE ARE MANY HARMS OF THIS TYPE OF MAGIC. THE MAGICIAN ASK FOR THE VICTIMS USED CLOTHES THEN HE TAKES FEW THREADS OUT OF THESE USED CLOTHES AND READ SOME MAGIC VERSES ON THESE CLOTHES AND THEN MAKES KNOTS IN THESE THREADS AND GIVE THSES THREADS TO THEM (WHO TAKE THIS DECISION TO MAKE THIS HEX HAPPEN) AND ASK/ORDER THEM TO THROW THESE THREAD IN DEPOPULATED/BLEAK AREA OR HE GIVE SOME RECITED EATABLE THING (THAT GOT BLOOD AND OFFSCOURING GRAINS INIT) AND ORDER THE PEOPLE TO INCLUDR THIS IN VICTIMS FOOD. WHILE THIS WHOLE MAGIC IS HAPPENING THE VICTIM IS IN GREAT PAIN HIS HANDS AND FOOT BECAME NUMB, HE GOT SEVERE CHEST PAIN OR HEADACH SPECIALLY ON THAT TIME WHEN THIS MAGIC STARTS OR AT THAT TIME WHEN HE EAT THE MAGICALLY RECIATED THING. HE MAY GET SEVERE PAIN IN HIS STOMACH AND ASLO VOMATIC AND NOSIA. I AM HERE WIRTING THE METOD THAT WILL HELP YOU DIFFRACT THIS TYPE OF MAGIC THROUGH QURAN. ONLY MUSLIMS ARE ALLOWED TO FOLLOW THIS DIFFRACT PROCESS, NON MUSLIMS ARE NOT ALLOWED/PERMITTED TO DO THIS METHOD.
    RECITE SURAH YONUS AYAT MO 81 TO 82, SURAH ARAF VERSE NO 117 TO 122, SURAH TAHA AYAT/VERSE NO 69, AYTAUL KURSE OR AL TAGHABUN AIYAT/VERSE NO 14 TO 16,RECITE/READ THIS 3 TIMES 3 DAFA TELAWAT KAREEN
    SURECITE/DUM THESE QURANIC VERSES ON PATIENT/VICTIM “3 TIMES AND GIVE WATER TO DRINK”. ASK THE VICTIM TO DRINK WATER FOR 4 WEEKS OR UNTILL THE SPELLS BREAK. BUT TAKE CARE THIS NEWS DOES NOT REACH TO THE PERSON WHO MAKE THIS SPELL HAPPEN COZ HE/SHE CAN DOO THIS SPELL AGAIN.
    REMEMBER ME IN UR PRAYERS.
    AMEL SONAME
    AMEL_SONAME@YAHOO.COM

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