16 Year Old Girl Want to Leave Home for Lover, What Should Loving Parents Do?

• Moodindigo
  February 29th, 2008 at 4:07 am

  Call the cops? 16 = Age of consent in the UK.

• SenorMysterioso
  February 29th, 2008 at 4:41 am

  press charges on the creep asap

• SenorMysterioso
  February 29th, 2008 at 4:43 am

  ok just read the story

  The parents should also have charges pressed against them

• Blessed Blogger
  February 29th, 2008 at 5:23 am

  Great, first they raise her with no discipline, no structure, no stability and now they are welcoming a pedophile into the house. I don’t care what the age of consent is, a 36 year old having sex with a 16 year old child is pedophilia. The parents and the pedophile should all be put in jail. I’m as liberal as they come but this is ridiculous. In a few years when she’s had three kids and this creep wants to trade her because she isn’t a child anymore who do you suppose will have to raise those poor babies?

• X-Shark
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:22 am

  Eff that. . Send the guy to jail. Someone who is sleeping with a 16 year old who is ancient should be shot.

• Martin
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:24 am

  From the article:
  Sheila, for her part, blames the situation on “society” and “the premature ageing and sexualisation of young people”.
  (…)

  I blame it on supid parents who never learned how to say “no” to a teenager. Also, I wonder what will they do when she asks for a pony or a unicorn.

• Moodindigo
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:34 am

  Firstly, you do not have nearly enough information to declare that she was raised with no “discipline, structure or stability”. The Daily Mail is a hateful, reactionary, right-wing rag with all the journalistic integrity of a KKK pamphlet edited by Anne Coulter. Just look at the editorial voice of this piece:

  “But on the other, the couple seem strangely reluctant to accept any responsibility for what is happening to their daughter, blaming “society” instead.”

  “Alison’s description is heartbreakingly naive.”

  I wouldn’t trust a word that it prints. I hate it even being linked to.

  Secondly, you are making a ridiculous slippery slope argument by saying that he’s going to knock her up a few times and then leave her. You know nothing of his character or the nature of their relationship. I was having sex at her age and it never did me any harm. Granted not with any 36 year olds (not for lack of trying) but as I’m a guy I don’t suppose you would apply the same judgement if I had.

  I feel that the parents have done exactly the most resposible thing in letting him stay with them. They can be there if anything does go wrong with the relationship and get to know him. He may be a son-in-law some day. Not only that but it’s better than her running away to be with him. Maybe it’s a mistake on her part but she should be able to make her own decision on that. It’s going to be made all the easier with her family around her for support.

  Besides, have you considered that they might just be in love?

• ted
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:42 am

  Holy cow, that article could have benefited from a healthy editing for length. Nobody could possibly be THAT interested to read it all the way to the end.

  Dude is NOT a pedophile - maybe not very mature.

  Parents should have insisted on seeing a ring first. If she moves out to play house with him… well, that’s her mistake to make.

• mikos
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:45 am

  lol to jail? Why? I see nothing morally wrong here… So what if she’s 16? That’s a normal age for marriage in many societies… Look at her! She’s well developed physiologically… She’s a woman. Age difference is not necessarily important. If this relationship works, then why not?

• MoonCake
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:50 am

  yunno, if we can all recall what it was like to be 16, we thought we knew everything about the world. we thought we knew everything we needed to be an adult, and seriously believed we would never change; that ‘this is as mature as it gets.’ i remember being 16. i thought i would always be a little goth chick wearing heavy makeup, thinking everyone was out to get me, and society would ‘never understand me.’ yea, that was a bunch of crap, and i’m 22 now. only 6 years and i’ve realized the world doesn’t revolve around me. only 6 years and i have an ever-growing respect for all people and accept everyone for who THEY are, regardless of what they may think of me. my life changed when i turned 18 and i was allowed a voice by my government. although i question the validity of that today, it was a right that i was granted.

  as far as this situation goes, the parents seem just as naiive as their child. they have to realize that their little girl has been plotting her romantic life since she was about 5 years old. she has reached the age where she is discovering new sensations and feelings, and every one seems like the right one. she has a lot to learn, and he parents did do well in raising her with open walls. BUT, she is human, and her parents had to realize that with no boundaries growing up, their child wasn’t going to stay inside any they put up now. what they all should have done was empathize with each other. the parents should have said something like “we understand that you are grown up now and you are able to make your own decisions. however, we feel you are jumping into this relationship too quickly and should allow it to mature a little bit before you decide to move in together. this is advice we would offer to anyone we cared about, so don’t think we are treating you differently because you’re our daughter. a lot of things can change in even a few days, and who knows? you may see something in each other that you didn’t yesterday and change your mind completely. it is much harder to move out of a relationship that it is to move in, and we think you should do it for yourself to allow this relationship to age, maybe just for a couple of months before you make this decision.” they needed to point out that they recognize her as an equal (if that is how they raised her) and she does have the right to make her own decisions. allow her to make her own mistakes and later she will thank them. at the same time, the girl should have empathized with her parents. empathy is not something you understand at 16. you know the definition from the dictionary, but you don’t truly understand what it means until you apply it. at 16, all you care about is “i’m right, you’re wrong” and that is no way to show an understanding of empathy. they should have negotiated a deal rather than just allow the child to get her way. she doesn’t understand how intrusive it is to bring a boyfriend into her parents’ house, regardless of his age. her parents don’t want to know she’s having sex any more than she would want to know her parents are having sex. this, too, is something she doesn’t understand. all in all, this situation was not handled as well as it could have, but as long as they’re all happy, that’s all that matters.

• mikos
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:02 am

  I don’t know… I was 16 and though I now have more experience and feel “smarter” I cant say that I could not make serious decisions at 16 or that I don’t ever make stupid mistakes now (especially when it comes to love and relationships). I believe that love is truly blind and the heart often takes priority over the pragmatic brain (which is not necessarily a bad thing).

• Lasse
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:03 am

  On the weird side, but not abnormal, and not illegal. If they are both in love, well, so be it.

• Lasse
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:05 am

  BTW the age of consent here in Denmark is 15.

• Tim Giachetti
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:17 am

  I moved out of my parents house at age 15.
  If this guy just isn’t using her for his pedophile needs, then more power to them.

• CatTrax
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:19 am

  Wah waaah waaaaaaah ……

  file this under : WTHF !?

• Pol x
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:34 am

  How is this guy a paedo? he’s a dirty old bastard yes but she m is by any judgement a woman. A very young one but a woman none the less.

  It is the case that the age of consent in the US is 18?

  So this is why your courts are snowed under with Statuatory rape cases?

  What happens if two sixteen year old shag? Are they both arrested?

  Seems extraordinary levels of state sponsored intrusion into peoples lives to me.

  Isn’t oral and anal illegal in most states too?

  land of the free indeed.

• Miller
  February 29th, 2008 at 7:59 am

  Damn, im 27… my Girlfriend is 25… I wish I could score some free rent!

  Entirely weird though! Not that I condone it but in different parts of the world this is nothing. Some girls get married off to old dudes when their much younger.

  Effed up world we live in!

• Sid Morrison
  February 29th, 2008 at 8:45 am

  1. Well if the age of consent is 16, they CAN’T call the cops on him. It’s amazing that folks assume that the “law” is the same everywhere. Even in the USA, the age of consent is different in every state.

  2. Technically speaking, he isn’t a pedophile (UK: paedophile, heh heh) if she’s gone through puberty. He’s just way creepy.

  3. The parents are daft / boffins / tetched in the head, to invite him into their home to mooch off them. That implicitly sanctions the relationship.

  4. Let the little tart move out and have him support her. One or the other will soon be sick of the situation and she’ll come back, with new found respect for truly caring parents. Yeah, she could get herself knocked up, but that’s ALREADY a current risk.

• Julie
  February 29th, 2008 at 9:24 am

  No matter how the story was editorialized, the fact remains that he is significantly older than her. According to societal norms in most developed countries it is not acceptable for an older man to have a sexual relationship with a very young woman.

  In my opinion, the situation is merely a symptom of lack of proper parenting. If a child feels that they are ready for a sexual relationship, then they need to be ready for everything that comes with that. And that means supporting your own family and providing your family with a home. To think that you can make your own family and continue to be supported by parents is ridiculous. I find the decisions made by everyone involved to be extremely disrespectful to everyone.

• Viola
  February 29th, 2008 at 9:37 am

  I’m 19. My boyfriend and I are 12 years apart and we’ve been together almost a year and a half now. While I think there is a significant difference between each subsequent teenage year in terms of maturity, it’s perfectly possible for a couple with a significant age gap to be compatible and in love. It’s just another obstacle to get over and around and bring the two closer together.

  In the same breath, I think she’s showing her immaturity and her inability to see the significance of her decisions by threatening to move out with this guy when she’s 16 and she’s only been dating the guy 4 months. That’s totally irresponsible. And her disrespect for her parents by fucking her 30-odd boyfriend in their house under their roof when she knows how much it hurts them shows her total disregard for others, another typical 16-year-old mind set.

  She’s not mature for her age. She has tits. That does not make her an adult or mature enough to make adult decisions.

• Fran
  February 29th, 2008 at 9:38 am

  Pedophile. Lock him up!

• mikos
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:04 am

  Julie:

  So by that logic sex==family?

  i.e. If someone never has sex its fine to mooch of their parents for as long as they like and if they god forbid they have sex they should move out immediately? Why is it also so wrong for a couple to live with their parents if they don’t have sufficient means to support themselves or if they prefer to do so and everybody agrees?

  Unfortunately, I think many people are just too focused on “social norms” and have trouble dealing with outliers. Live and let live. Passing unsubstantiated judgments on people is just wrong. Is it legal? Yes? So what’s your problem? Mind your own business. If I’m 90 and a 16 year old likes me and its legal it should be of no ones concern.

• Jazzy Jeff
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am

  It’s rather silly (and ignorant) to call the guy a pedophile. The evidence indicates he is a ephebophile instead. Look up the terms people.

• Miss Cellania
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am

  It’s creepy, but it’s not pedophilia. Pedophiles are sexually attracted to children. A 16-year-old girl is physically an adult, jailbait or not. Where I live, an awful lot of 16-year-olds are married and/or parents, but usually not to someone that much older. As for the parents, I can’t judge because I haven’t yet even read the article.

• Mike Harris
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am

  He’d be an ephebophile, not a pedophile.

• SW
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am

  what do a 16 year old and 36 year old even have in commmon?! i’m a mere 32, and I don’t particularly care to spend time with teenagers. hell, some of my friends’ kids are(younger) teenagers.

• sam
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:46 am

  I’d hit it.

• natalie
  February 29th, 2008 at 10:56 am

  creeeepy.

• the lord
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:08 am

  WELL IF IT WAS MY DOUGHTER I WOULD PROB TELL HER TO NAIL HERSELF A DOCTOR DADY NEEDS A NEW PORCHE : D

• Stolia
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:10 am

  This is disgusting, not just because of the age difference, but also because he is an ugly man and taking advantage of the fact that this chick does not know any better.

  Ephebophile or just someone who just doesn’t want to grow up, that guy is gross.

  ::shivers:: and so ugly.

• Suzie
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:25 am

  Seriously- there are people who are still insane enough to use the love is blind bullshit as an excuse for this??
  Sorry love is not blind, love is a creepy immature 36 year old guy who see’s a young hot peice of ass who’s about as emotionally challenging, as well… a 16 year old. And he’s living with her parents!!!
  Does this not scream scum of the earth to you??? He should be ashamed and kicked in the nuts for his stupidity!!!
  She’s young, her parents dont have good boundries with her, and she’s an idiot and will be regretting this in less than a year. But WTF is his excuse?? He’s just a gross creep.
  BTW- are any of you defending him actually women? Or mostly dudes thinking she’s hot?

• Lasse
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:39 am

  I think i might be heterophile, can it be helped? And where do i go to with my problem?

• Justin
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:49 am

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

• Lauraebks
  February 29th, 2008 at 11:51 am

  I need to take a shower now. No its not strange for an old guy to want to bang a 16 yr old. Its VERY gross for him to move in with her parents and feel like its AOK. I would be so freaked out if I were his ex-wife. The 16 yr old will grow out of it and move on..I hope to something better. That 2 yr old daughter has some challenges coming her way.

• Thespian24601
  February 29th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

  The thing that gets me the most is that he actually wants to move in with her. I mean, you see a lot of relationships in the US where teenagers are dating guys in their late 20s or early 30s, but they rarely move in together.

  And her parents blaming society? Come on, thats just bad parenting. If your daughter has snuck off several times into pubs, staying out until 1 in the morning, hooked up with three other guys and her parents have no idea? Wow.

• L
  February 29th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

  Scary, irresponsible parents. They need to take a long, hard look at themselves, and not at society in general. Society didn’t let a 36-year-old move in with their teenage daughter… THEY did!

• artbot
  February 29th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

  I don’t understand why the man can’t just support her if she moves out with him. They talk about it like their daughter has to automatically disown them if she moves out. (Too lazy to real long-ass article).

  But is is kinda creepy, and guaranteed she will dump him in a few months. Guess it’s better to be at “home” for the eventual fallout.

• kenna
  February 29th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

  16 is legal in the UK, however that doesn’t mean they needed to let him move in. a man who’s damn near 40 and wants to date my 16-year-old daughter should have his OWN place instead of expecting to crash in my home, eat my food, and screw my kid.

• twodollars
  February 29th, 2008 at 5:50 pm

  You know what, Ive been to europe and when girls hit 16, they are grown up! If you talked to a sixteen year old girl, and never knew that she was 16 and never seen her, you really wouldnt have a clue she was 16 by American standards, you would think you were talking to somebody much older. American girls on the other hand, I can see that being wrong because they are naive, sheltered and easily taken advantage of, they live in a fantasy land.

• Franz Kafka
  February 29th, 2008 at 6:21 pm

  moodindigo is wrong. A 16 year without a doubt does not know what her future holds and has no judgement. and that guy is just a tool.

• Johnald_Chaffinch
  February 29th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

  nothing strange, not news worthy. not neat.

• Ricky Barnes
  March 1st, 2008 at 2:18 am

  There underlying assumption in treating this man as a criminal or creep is that the 16-year old girl can’t possibly know what SHE wants. I can tell you there are people decades older than she is who haven’t the maturity equivalent to their age. I find laws dealing with “minors” to be more or less despicable. They are irrationally discriminatory and certainly irrationally applied when it comes to both the alleged minor and so-called “majorities.”

  Whatever the decisions here in this instance, knee-jerk reaction based on age alone is the least preferable. The girl apparently knows what’s between her ears and uses it. She also knows what’s between her legs … and his … and makes use of those as well. I’d be surprised if she doesn’t also know what’s in her own heart. Sounds mature to me. As I said, there are so-called “adults” who can’t handle the same responsibility, and yet, the law is on their side, appropriately or not.

• linabeena
  March 3rd, 2008 at 9:44 pm

  “I thought he was gorgeous - tall, dark and handsome.” You have to be kidding me. He looks like a DORK. And if he can’t get women his own age, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with him.

  If people don’t think this is wrong, think about: when he was 20, she was a BABY.

  Another thing that has not been addressed is that when (not “if”, “when”) something goes seriously wrong, she’s going to blame her parents. E.g. he hits her, “Mum you let him live in our house! *cries*”

• Karl
  April 15th, 2008 at 11:21 pm

  Blessed Blogger you obviously need educating a peadophile wouldn’t touch a 16 year old girl with a barge pole they like pre pubescent children,so stop being so small minded,if a 16 year old girl wants to date an older man that’s her choice,not yours,you may not like it,but you don’t have to.

• Karl
  April 15th, 2008 at 11:30 pm

  Oh I forgot to add,Peter Stringfellow dated a 16 year old when he was 56,but because of he’s celebrity status no one cared and other celebrities even older than him have dated 16,17 18 and 19 year olds British and American and who complains,no one,but if an ordinary man does the small minded people in society like some people on here call him a peadophile.

• somethingsomething
  May 18th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

  Dumb. Ass. Parents.

  Silly westerners, with your time-outs and goundings. Weak.

• hIT IT 16 ooookkkk
  June 7th, 2008 at 6:44 am

  Grow up!!!!!! saying he is a PED is stupid.

  Everyone knows young chicks are hot,

  the girls complainig he is a PED are just jealous there not still young and have tight asses for all the guys to stare at.

  Culturally youth of women have always been admirded,

  I’m 28 and i’d HIT IT (16 and mature looking hot chick) if oppurtunity arose, animal instinct baby.

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