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13 comments to "Flattery Begins at Four"
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Diogenes
February 16th, 2008 at
10:40 pm
basic behaviorisms, I would think, has something to do with it too. along with learning how to lie from the rest of us. also a seperation of adult and child, by forming lie barriers as a security of truth(which is llife/play ect, not war and predujice, ect.
distiguishing differences is a part of lying, and flattery comes from us too, as positive reassurance.
investments for future benefits that allow for self gratifying baths.
lie for love -
Gerry
February 16th, 2008 at
10:41 pm
The three-year-olds were completely honest???
Bull…. I’ve seen two-year-olds lie when they thought they were in trouble or they thought they could get another cookie/candy.
Pets, too. Not just our previous cats, but our current bunny can lie like a rug if he thinks he can get another treat out of you.
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Diogenes
February 16th, 2008 at
10:47 pm
we learn quickly to lie, in order to get what we want. dont we Gerry?
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oakling
February 16th, 2008 at
10:55 pm
A two-year-old lying to get a cookie doesn’t map onto art criticism unless the artist has cookies for them. I assume they weren’t at a wine and cheese opening
I mean, this stuff illustrates that there is a developmental gap between “I have learned what you want me to say in exchange for a cookie” and “I have learned that you want me to say ‘nice’ things about anything connected to you to your face.” I would like to read the study sometime and see if they made a distinction between tact and straight-up lying. You can choose to share the truthful nice reactions you have with an artist or phrase the “negative” ones constructively, without lying. To me, four-year-olds doing that are learning about manners - being socialized - whereas if they are lying about their reactions they are showing that they’ve found people will not be nice to them if they say something negative - which is a whole other world.
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Diogenes
February 16th, 2008 at
11:11 pm
or its one little building block among many. depending on the child and whatever is distict in development and whatever special point of view. So what leads to a wine and cheese opening shmooze fest is anyone’s guess,
the gap that you bring up, oakling, makes me think about social skills in general and the complexity and mundane situations we all go through . -
Jack Myles
February 17th, 2008 at
4:17 am
Couldn’t the motivation for their responses be something a little more simple than future social advancement? couldn’t it just be that maybe they’ve gained some empathy and simply don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings? Just a thought
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Heureuse
February 17th, 2008 at
8:50 am
I think Jack is absolutely right. It actually reflects on the researchers that they assumed the kids were making social investments, rather than trying to be thoughtful.
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L
February 17th, 2008 at
2:49 pm
So we’re already thinking about sucking up to our future bosses when we’re four? I doubt that. I think it’s more likely the first explanation: “It can be to show gratitude for some positive action in the past.” Especially since familiar people got more praise.
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Tempscire
February 17th, 2008 at
2:51 pm
Showing empathy and being careful of another’s feelings are ways to advance socially. There’s very little true altruism in the world.
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marieissah
February 18th, 2008 at
3:45 am
My brother’s 3 but somehow he appreciates it
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anon
February 18th, 2008 at
8:52 am
A “normal university” is just another name for a college that trains teachers. There are plenty of other schools with the same designation worldwide, probably the best-known of which are the French “Écoles Normales”.
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Alex
February 18th, 2008 at
6:14 pm
I learn something new today! Thanks anon for the explanation of “normal university.”
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Alex
February 18th, 2008 at
6:22 pm
@Gerry: “Bull…. I’ve seen two-year-olds lie when they thought they were in trouble or they thought they could get another cookie/candy.”
True, but the intent there is self-interest (to get out of trouble or for “ccokie” gain). The study purports to show that lying in the interest of others (though you can argue that ultimately it’s also in the interest of self), begins at four.
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