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Half Life: Full Life Consequences

Gordon Freeman is the hero of Half-Life video game series. He’s smart and a pretty good shot, too. Everybody loves Gordon … but what about his brother John? Well, as it turns out, he’s pretty darned heroic too.

Behold, I present to you an EPIC reading of an EPIC fan-fiction, as written by then an 8-year-old Fanfiction.net user squirrelking. Here’s Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

A sample:

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

Links:

- squirrelking’s original fan-fiction
- YouTube Link above (narrated by blind51de), done with Garry’s Mod [Wiki | official website]
- The original animated version [YouTube], by AmazingTrout

Via Joystiq - Thanks moronic50!

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Posted on

February 2, 2008 at 6:19 am by Alex
Category: Toy & Video Games, Video Clips

8 comments to "Half Life: Full Life Consequences"

cuimhne
February 2nd, 2008 at 8:26 am
First I thought this was terrible, but it has a certain charm to it. Plus, the author’s first language isn’t English so we should cut him some slack.
Carl Huber
February 2nd, 2008 at 10:34 am
Why is an 8 year old writing fanfiction for a Mature rated game?
Justin
February 2nd, 2008 at 10:38 am
That was hilarious!
Abestar
February 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 am
What. The. Hell.
HL2Fan
February 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Idea’s sorta already been done, but in a very well made comic. Stars a guy named Gordon Froman who ends up being in the other Gordon’s shadow all the time. http://www.hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-05-01
Ali S.
February 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
For some reason this reminds of “Ren and Stimpy”. I don’t know why but it just does.
Rosi
February 3rd, 2008 at 4:13 am
Aaah fanfiction. It’s the new “angsty song lyrics written in the back of my school notebook”.
And this kid is a bit weird. He’s eight years old and he’s writing about shooting headcrabs and getting their blood in the dirt. Hmm. Never mind the fact that the universally recognized age for the “fan-fiction period” begins at 13, pretty much about the same time that every child realises that their parents hate them and the universe sucks.
(note: I am being SARCASTIC)
MoonCake
February 3rd, 2008 at 8:23 am
this is an awesome video. if you’ve played half-life, it’s actually quite inpressive. i just got done playing all of the half-life 2 series last week. yes, it’s amazing. “noone goes to ravenhome anymore…”

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