5 Strange Stop-Gap “Solutions” to Climate Problems

• ikin
  January 21st, 2008 at 4:21 pm

  here in austria we are actually wrapping glaciers to keep them from melting.

  they are doing this on glaciers all over europe

• Betty
  January 21st, 2008 at 5:25 pm

  We can get the Earth back to its temperature 100 years ago! Wonderful!

  Ok, everyone: go out and get all that white paint (filled with toxins), paint your roof and fill the air with fumes. Then, dump the rest of the paint in your backyard, which will eventually find its way to your local water supply. Don’t forget about how much waste material will be created by the factories producing all that paint. And what are we going to do with all those used paint buckets?

  Here’s the kicker… you’re doing ALL THAT in order to get back to where we were temperature-wise 100 years ago. Which is ONE DEGREE COOLER.

  *smacks forehead* people are stupid.

• biltmore
  January 21st, 2008 at 5:38 pm

  @ Betty,

  ???

• Ali S.
  January 21st, 2008 at 7:01 pm

  I’ve always wondered about the theory of taking CO2 scrubbers and applying them to top of buildings to suck up all the excess CO2 produced by cars to help stem global warming. Then there is the theory of planting more trees…but I guess those simply just won’t work. *end sarcasm*

• bean
  January 21st, 2008 at 7:06 pm

  You want us to come up with stop-gap solutions for a fictional phenomenon?

  Why not just ask us to figure out how to create more Jedi or bring unicorns back from extinction?

• nach
  January 21st, 2008 at 7:29 pm

  I remember very little from my geography class. What I do remember is something called albedo, which is the heat absorbed into the ground, I think. The teacher said that parking lots and other black-surfaced areas absorbed more sunlight, obviously. Maybe a small soltuion could be making parking lots and other areas like them another colour… although white might blind drivers on a sunny day.

• Dave
  January 21st, 2008 at 7:50 pm

  What we need is one of those rocket-based bomb thingies that the bad guy in Star Trek-Generations used. Since Global Warming is caused by the sun, we can fire the bomb at it and everything will… Oh, wait. That thing blew up the sun, didn’t it. That would be A Very Bad Thing.

• J
  January 21st, 2008 at 9:43 pm

  There used to be glaciers where I live now. Millions of years ago. Too bad these lunatics weren’t around then to save them. Sheesh people the world has been warmer and it has been cooler. You have found your new “religion”. Seems your efforts could be put to better use. But hey if it makes you feel better or gives your purpose keep trying to save those glaciers.
  If people(who happen to be natural and breathe out CO2 for gosh sakes) are the problem all you man made global warming believers could find home on some other planet. Enjoy.

• bob
  January 22nd, 2008 at 12:18 am

  A little more heat and a little more rain sounds like a thriving ecosystem to me, beats millions or sq. miles of inert lifeless ice. Not that I don’t think the whole thing is a load of crap.

• Kaboom
  January 22nd, 2008 at 12:37 am

  What utter lunacy - painting roofs white! Isn’t it supposed to be reflected infra-red which is caught by carbon dioxide and all the other so-called “greenhouse gases”, and the heating effect is as a result of the changed wave-length of the interrupted infra-red?

  The more reflection of infra-red from the Earth’s surface, the more global warming!

  No wonder no-one believes these climate alarmists any more!

  The science is settled people - there is no more debate! It’s the new religion, all right…..

• Dan
  January 22nd, 2008 at 7:14 am

  maybe we should cross our fingers and hope god will save our grandchildren? Sheesh, step out of the air conditioning.

• Sid Morrison
  January 22nd, 2008 at 8:46 am

  Climate change is real — but’s it’s been happening for millions of years, man or no man.

  How self-absorbed we are to declare that *exactly* the way things are right now (or fifty years ago, or whatever) is optimal. Get a grip folks, the earth’s climate has NEVER be stable and we have nothing to do with it.

  All these schemes do is waste a lot of money, energy, and intellectual resources better spent elsewhere. Bah.

• Alex Fear
  January 22nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm

  1. Ikin is right, incredibly they do wrap their mountains, but the truth is it’s nothing to do with climate change, it’s to do with the skiing and tourism industry.

• Christophe
  January 22nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm

  I sell insulation, solar panels and whatnot. Go ecolo-crazyness, go!

    !!!!!!!
    $   $
      L
  \__o__/

• Christophe
  January 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm

  Dang. My little drawing was killed
  Anyway, going back to price proposals… $$$

• rob h
  January 22nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm

  i think global warming helps thin the herd. just think about it. when temps jump to 200 degress F, only about 1 in 10,000 will survive (guessticle). that person from that group has to find another person like that, and they’re set. simple evolution.

• Alex
  January 23rd, 2008 at 7:12 am

  Behold, I have resurrected Christophe’s ASCII art (the trick is to use the HTML entity for non-breaking space).

  And who are you going to believe, the scientific consensus on global warming, or random comments from the Interweb?

  And does anyone notice that as long as you put anything in the context of a conspiracy, people on the Net naturally assumes that it’s the obvious truth…

• Alex Fear
  January 23rd, 2008 at 3:29 pm

  Not a conspiracy friend, economics… that and… having lived in Switzerland for a year.

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