Leveraging Our Core Competencies to Dispose of Corporate Buzzwords We Loathe

1. cooties
   January 15th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

   'impact': it's a NOUN so unless you're a COLON or a MOLAR you can't be impacted!

   and you can't 'pre-reserve'!

   or 'pre-order'!

   the worst buzzword? any word with the letter 'e' in front of it - which by now is *every* word!

2. Ali S.
   January 15th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

   I have a slightly different word peeve which mainly stems from my hatred for the sudden popularity for adding the "i" infront of EVERYTHING! It drives me up the wall.

3. Rosi
   January 15th, 2008 at 4:37 pm

   You missed off "evaluation".
   Nothing good ever follows that word.

4. Sissy
   January 15th, 2008 at 4:54 pm

   "Reach out to" instead of "contact." "I'm going to reach out to him." "Can you reach out to her?" !@#%^%#@$

5. SW
   January 15th, 2008 at 4:58 pm

   "think outside the box." what fricken box?! what's in it to start with?!

6. pumpkynlyon
   January 15th, 2008 at 5:05 pm

   the good old two-pronged approach...

7. Pat J
   January 15th, 2008 at 5:09 pm

   I'm with cooties on the "impact"-hating bandwagon. The other one that's ticking me off right now is "moving forward", as in "Deal with the issue on a moving-forward basis". What, there's another option? You've invented time travel?

8. Pat J
   January 15th, 2008 at 5:10 pm

   Oh, and "utilize". And "orientate". What's wrong with "use" and "orient"?

9. Robin
   January 15th, 2008 at 5:17 pm

   "Intuitive". Hate "intuitive".

10. Alex
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    I'm with SW. I hate thinking outside the box. It's cold out there. I want to be inside the warm box.

11. breccav
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    If I hear "teamplayer" or "work toward the company's core values" anymore, I may need to be committed to an institution... which actually might be better...

12. Rohin
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    Jeez, you guys are suboptimal in your thought-processing.

    You have to push the envelope people. You're not championing a multi-disciplinary best-practice-based moving target.

    What you need is an user-centric, up-sized, right-sized mastered synergistic dashboard. You don't have to reinvent the wheel guys, just touch base with me when you've reached a prelim 3-pointer.

    Can you tell I've spent the day writing job applications?

13. panzyfaust
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    Wow. You just reminded me how annoyed I can get at the term "touch base".

14. sunpyg
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    How about "Smoking Gun" or "What kind of message are we sending..." AAAAAGGGGG!!!

15. artbot
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    "Precedent".

    As in, "I would pay all our employees what they are really worth, but that would set a dangerous precedent."

16. MoonCake
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    how about people talking as if they're asking a question? as if everything is a quandry? i hate it mostly when teenagers talk? because they always say 'like' and stuff?

    i also hate "flawless execution."

    "corporate america"

    "911"

    "terrorism/terrorists/terror"

    "tight" and "phat" and "bad"

17. Another Jake
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    You must grasp the impact of engaging the target audience. Your unprecedented and novel approach is ground-breaking. It could change the direction of the field and open new opportunities for advancement.

18. Michelle
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    please unpack those ideas for us.

19. Nicholas Dollak
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    "Prioritize." Not a word, folks! "Set priorities" is probably what these incoherent morons are trying to say.

    "Over-qualified." Used only by those who are under-qualified.

    "Package," when used to mean "the way something is presented / presents itself" or "what is included," especially when applied to a person. "She's got the whole package."

    "Market" when used as a verb. Verbing weirds language.

    "Rubric" as it is now used in schools. The same institutions that put limits on vocabulary-building so that the average student can barely hold an intelligent conversation, have the gall to use the word "rubric"? It turns out it means... instructions. Steps for completing the assignment. I find words to be rather delightful, but there's no need to fix what ain't broke. Replacing "instructions" with "rubric" does not impress me.

20. Adrian Fields
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Transition used as a verb. It REALLY bugs me. The verb is "transit"! One is "in transition", not transitioning!

    Repurpose.

    Ungrammatical jargon created by teachers or others in the field of education: manipulative used as a noun. Argh!

    I agree with moving forward, rubric, impact...

21. Miss Cellania
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Buzzword Bingo is much more polite than the original name of this game, even though the first letter is the same.

22. Vako
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    These are phrases, not buzzwords, but they stick in my craw.

    "Get with the program."

    "Are you onboard with us?"

    and

    "In future"...

23. Eric
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Lately it isn't the buzzwords that have been bugging me. It seems like everyone working around me keeps saying "Gotcha." It's getting old fast.

24. Beezy
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    A phrase I dislike?

    "Out of pocket"

25. Kent Brewster
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    "In future" is horrible, but I've heard "futurely" a couple of times. "Ask" and "get" used as nouns--"that's a really huge ask"--squick me out.

    "That being said" and starting a sentence with "So" are a couple of my anti-favorites. Any time you hear a question starting with "So...." you are about to be told what a huge idiot you are.

26. tk
    January 15th, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    Opportunity. When used referring to something that is actually a challenge or problem.

27. marykate
    January 15th, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Ditto all, and I include "intentionality," "gift" being used as a verb, and only because it was on 5 times during the webcast of Heroes, "Bank." Bankity bank bank! In a one-minute ad, they said bank nine times!!!
    Oh, and "at the end of the day..."

28. Carruthers
    January 16th, 2008 at 1:12 am

    It's a double-edged sword. Much of this stuff is truly inventive - in a linguistic sense; In the sense of being meaningful actions in the real world or concepts that are authentically different from established language is another matter. But I don't think there's any long term harm to the language going on. These buzzwords and phrases live or die according to their usefulness or relevance. For example, "Thinking outside the box" may well be cringe-worthy nowadays, but it hasn't survived these last 20 years or so without an "element of truth" or veracity to it. That phrase works every day said out loud or not if you're a creative person or are looking to solve a problem or to overcome a challenge. Buzzwords are mostly crap - but only mostly. ( I had to think twice there about whether "mostly" was a word or not...)

29. Alex
    January 16th, 2008 at 2:01 am

    "Ping" is getting to be over-used. Add to that anything "two point oh." Oh, and don't forget "viral."

30. jojo
    January 16th, 2008 at 6:13 am

    btw
    in germany we call it Bullshit-Bingo...
    a more fitting name reckon

31. Lucía
    January 16th, 2008 at 6:46 am

    Feasibility

    Aaarg!

32. Milorlz
    January 16th, 2008 at 8:02 am

    A co-worker and I currently have a list of 437 words and metaphors that our manager has used in the past year..we are sad people

33. Dork Deville
    January 16th, 2008 at 8:52 am

    Proactive is like so five minutes ago. Know what I mean?

34. amanderpanderer
    January 16th, 2008 at 11:24 am

    "best-practices" is the worst.
    I don't think it's the best practice to use best-practices. It sounds ridiculous.

    Also on my top hate lists:
    interface
    attrition (I'm in a university setting)
    consultant-reviewers/consultant-evaluators
    core compentencies
    programmatic (??????)

35. Greg V
    January 16th, 2008 at 11:41 am

    At risk of big-footing the conversation, I need to provide some pushback with a business-critical walk-on agenda item. A deep-dive after-action review of the conversation (an SOP for all synch-ups, mainly to promote information hygiene) makes it clear that this is really just a symptom of seagull management masking a misunderstanding of their value-add to our throughput as a society. If you were to dollarize the value chain, database the impact of going productional with a supersized vocabulary that productizes new language, you could quickly leverage the POV with maximal risk tolerance -- then just cartonize it, conduct the usual failure-modes effects analysis, create a new process map that eliminates non-projectized contributors and BANG -- American business shows a whole new value proposition!

    Then again, it might be hard to get past the ha-ha test...

36. Kathleen
    January 16th, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Tired of hearing about the Sarbanes Oxley Act. Can you tell I work in finance? I don't even remotely deal with the regulations from the act, but I hear about it all the time.

    I also dislike it when people refer to me as Martha Stewarty. Just because a girl can cook and do crafts doesn't mean they should be compared to Martha Stewart all the time.

37. Meghan
    January 16th, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Buzz phrases being heard around the AW watercooler that I totally hate:
    "Throwing under the bus" - New one on me, but apparently pretty common, means to incriminate someone to get yourself out of a sticky situation
    "Moving Forward" - I agree with Pat J on this one, where exactly is forward. If you're moving, aren't you pretty much always moving forward? It pretty much goes along the same lines as "dead bodies" or "pre-recorded"

    And I really hate "War on Drugs", although that's not a typical "corporate America" buzz phrase. It just makes me think that there are soldiers fighting this "war", when its just a bunch of pompous republicans. Yeah, you know who you are, and how much money the government makes off of this supposed "war".

38. Meghan
    January 16th, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Ping and Ding are overused, too.

39. GetOnMyMap
    January 16th, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    I hate "rock star."

    As in, "Thanks for coming in over the weekend team, you're all rock stars."

40. Johnny Cat
    January 16th, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    I've seen the word "Quixotic" way too much in the past week.

41. jenjen
    January 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    user-centered. It's code for "design that takes away the things you used to use, but since you're over 35 you don't count"

42. ruby
    January 16th, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    My old boss said "diligent" all the damn time. I was pretty diligent in my hatred of the word and cringing of his use of it! It was as if he invented the word...like he just learned it in english class and had to show off. I left that job a year and a half ago and I still...STILL! hate the word.

    He used "outside the box" alot too just like many other have brought it up. The box? I am so good I never have seen the box!

43. PJ in SF
    January 16th, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    "Metrics" (in respect to reporting on status) and "proactive" (redundant much?) are the ones that I'm sick of.

44. Christophe
    January 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    I always liked "to delayerize" and "What's the status point" on this and that?
    And yes, PJinSF, "Proactive" is far the best!

45. SW
    January 16th, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    i used to have a boss who, when something went awry, would say it had 'screwed the pooch.' i thought that vile.

46. Ginny
    January 16th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    I'd add "synergies," which in corporate-speak means, "How many people can we lay off?"

47. Terry
    January 16th, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    "At the end of the day..." - Which day!?!
    "Whole Entire..." - If you have a hole in your tire, get it fixed!
    "Pragmatic approach" - Why does a word that mean something practical, sound so impractical? As soon as you hear this saying you know the PITAF (pain-in-the-ass-factor) is gonna be HUGE!!
    "Moving on from this point forward..." - As opposed to moving back? Or maybe after this week? Or may at the beginning of another day?
    "Developing new synergies/ strategies/ markets/ ...." - Dip shit in candy and paint pink and white. At the end of the day it still comes out as shit.

48. John Sauls
    January 16th, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    As a student taking biology and a politically active teenager, I think it safe to say that if I hear anybody utter the words "greenhouse gases" one more time, I will commit suicide. The meaning of the words doesnt't phase me, it's just the words themselves. Just something stupid about them.

49. ted
    January 16th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    We had a fellow who used to always encourage people by saying "You rock!"

    I read a job description once that referred to one of its perks as giving employees a lounge where they could do such interesting things like "bluesky on the whiteboard".

    That apparently means to come up with ideas on one of those white boards businesses use to write on. Only, when I looked up the terms online, I found "Bluesky" meant using drugs and "whiteboard" meant "a slut", because she's covered in a certain white fluid.

    I think they meant the first meaning. I hope...

50. Eva
    January 17th, 2008 at 12:45 am

    I despise many of the terms already mentioned, but my current pet peeve is "a sense of urgency." We need to cultivate a sense of urgency... she doesn't display a sense of urgency... I'm just not feeling a real sense of urgency from your department...

    X|

    I'm also really tired of hearing about "hard goals," re: sales, as in required numbers that MUST be met (pref. with a sense of urgency, I guess). Wouldn't that make them a quota, not a goal?

51. no
    January 17th, 2008 at 2:04 am

    I'm tired of "Rubenesque women". "Fat chicks" is much more direct.

52. williams
    January 17th, 2008 at 6:27 am

    Who started the craze for turning nouns into verbs? They should be shot for "dialoguing" "mainstreaming" etc
    Also why must everything have its own "vision and values" and why must every sports team play with "Pride and passion". I saw a Charlton (soccer) fan with a coat saying "Charlton Athletic - 70 years of pride and passion". I'd date that coat a 2007 vintage!
    Oh, and our workplace have just dredged "core competencies framework" out of the pond to assist in the annual review process. Its a bit moss covered by now that phrase, but thats when they join our lexicon here.

53. Rebecca
    January 20th, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    "Optics" and "going forward". When I started at my first office job, I had to ask what it meant the first time I heard it. Apparently, it's the same as "in the future" but more "proactive".

54. Jennifer
    January 22nd, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Webinar! ARGH!

    Due Diligence! Double ARGH!!

55. Nealio
    October 15th, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Meghan, I like, resonate with you.

    Let's not forget these infamous mistakes:

    "Over 25 years of public service..." Over is for over, or beyond, or above the rainbow, our heads, our ability to comprehend. If we're talking about quantity or volume it's "more than" or "less than." He's more than 6 feet tall, so he can reach over the top cabinet without having to stand on a chair."

    "You go, grrrrrl." OMG, like, that's like so annoying.

    "I'm anxious to meet you!" What is it about me that makes your anxious?

    "We need to talk about project steps going forward." You meant "in the future," right, idiot?

    Contrary to what many assume it's not sexy nor a display of brilliance to use buzzspeak.

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