100 Greatest Christian Fundamentalists Quotes

Posted by Alex in Religion on January 15, 2008 at 4:25 am


Here is the Top 100 greatest quotes culled from fundamentalist Christian chat rooms, as compiled by FSTDT (Fundies Say the Darndest Things!) forum.

Like this gem, for example:

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

Link – via GorillaMask


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COMMENT

40 comments to "100 Greatest Christian Fundamentalists Quotes"

  1. Vako
    January 15th, 2008 at 4:55 am

    I'm laughing my ass off at these quotes!

  2. matthew t
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:18 am

    There is so much hate coming from these people

    im a very firm christian,
    i mean i believe every word of the bible

    but this is not what Jesus was about.
    im sorry everyone. im sorry Christians act like this

    Jesus is the person who said "he who is without sin, throw the first stone"

    i dont mean to sound preachy, really
    i just felt i should give some defense for those who belive that we become Christian because we need help and guidance, not because we are perfect

  3. James
    January 15th, 2008 at 6:50 am

    matthew: You believe every word of the Bible? There isn't even an ORIGINAL Bible out there, only zillions of slightly different hebrew resp. greek copies who all differ in the detail and that then later on got translated in different ways ... so which of these is the true Word of God?? ;)

  4. Dale
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:48 am

    To be perfectly honest, these people scare the crap outta me! This is the kind of self righteous ignorance that begets acts such as the holocaust.

  5. johnk
    January 15th, 2008 at 8:27 am

    Huckabee for Prez!!!

    ...Just joking.

    This is the kind of stuff the Xtian right wants to fill our schools with. Lets all teach Magic in science class!

  6. ted
    January 15th, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Server didn't respond.

    Here we go again - let's bash all Christians for something the wacky fundamentalists say - that's not self-righteous itself, is it?

  7. brady
    January 15th, 2008 at 9:37 am

    >This is the kind of self righteous ignorance that begets acts such as the holocaust.

    Maybe we have different history books. Was Hitler a fundamentalist Christian? Oh wait, no, he was a godless man. Maybe having no god is what begets acts such as the holocaust (see what I did there? I used the same irrational argument you did).

    Lots of people have said lots of crazy things over the years. Just because you can find 100 quotes that are nonsensical does not prove anything.

    As a Christian I have generally liked this page. It is clean, interesting, and funny. I'm disappointed that the authors have posted a blatantly prejudicial post such as this just for a few laughs.

  8. JM
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:11 am

    life is full of disappointment. and stupid people. sorry, ignorant people. get over it. laugh at it. life is a lot easier if you learn to laugh at yourself.

  9. Louise
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Actually, Brady, Hitler was a very devout Christian, according to his own writings and a lot of the propaganda used by the Nazis. ("Gott mit uns", for example.) Athiests were lumped with Communists, Jews, and homosexuals in his litany of those who were destroying wholesome Germany. Of course, his actions don't seem very Christlike, but Hitler described Jesus as a literal fighter and warrior. But you can look it up just by googling "Hitler" and "Christian".

  10. Tempscire
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:13 am

    It's not mocking Christians, it's mocking idiot fundies, who very well deserve all the mockery they get (especially when they're trying to argue scientific principles with an 8th-grade knowledge of basic science). (Of course, even an 8th-grade level of knowledge should be sufficient to grasp the most obvious things, so I'm forced to conclude they suffer from willful ignorance...also worthy of mockery, since education fails at every turn.)

  11. Zack
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:17 am

    some of these have been taken from the landoverbaptist.com site and it's associated forums. so, some of them are intentionally harsh.

    Jesus saves...and invests wisely.

  12. Dave
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Lets all teach Magic in science class!

    So saying that a primordial soup of umpteen different chemicals somehow came together spontaneously in just the right quantities and conditions, combined with one another with no outside influences, and became a living organism doesn't connote a certain amount of hocus pocus? And then this prototypical living thing, with no outside manipulation developed — again, with no outside influence — over billions and billions of years into life as we know it today, consisting of compositions of such complexity that the best of modern science is still scratching its head? And that isn't magic?

    I'm sure the "fundies" on the linked site do say some goofy things (dead link right now; server error), but you've got to admit that when you look at the so-called scientific explanations of the origins of life and the universe, it sounds just as goofy, and a lot of it just doesn't add up.

    And Dale, it's not the self-righteous ignorance of religious people that sparked the holocaust. Check your history books. People like you that overreact to what you don't agree with is what scares the crap outta me. Next thing you know, people like you will be trying to muzzle people like me and tell me what we can and can't say... Oh, wait a minute; that's already happening!

    I have a prediction: Before all is said and done, Alex will be a born-again, Bible-believing Christian. We're praying for you, brother! ;o)

  13. Sid Morrison
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:26 am

    Yes, some are pretty funny, but keep in mind, these are just random folks spouting off quixotically about whatever they want. Many (most?) are probably rather ill-educated and not a good representation of broader Christian theology and apologetics.

    The clips come from "chat rooms" after all, not theology textbooks or the well-formed and carefully considered beliefs of leaders such as the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Patriarch of Moscow, or even the leader of the Southern Baptists' Convention (whoever he is). In said chat rooms, a very wide range of people (including perhaps a number of trolls!) can ramble nonsensically about whatever they want. Their views are their own only and don't represent any organized dogma -- the quoted represent no one but themselves.

    Also bear in mind that even if they were organized, all Christians don't believe the same things! I don't think it is even fair to lump all "fundamentalists" (generally a perjorative) or "Evangelicals" together. If Jim Jones and/or David Koresh were still alive, they could host Chat rooms as well -- the internet is a wide open forum for free speech (as it should be), but don't confuse the ramblings of a few lone nuts with the beliefs of hundred of millions.

  14. Dean
    January 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am

    "Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
    That, for all they care, I can go to hell"

  15. Dale
    January 15th, 2008 at 11:27 am

    I never mentioned Christianity as a faith in my post; I was referring to the kind of people who believe such fundamentalist tripe.

  16. Jon
    January 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Hitler was a devout Christian, even at times saying he was doing God's work by getting rid of the jews.

  17. aerio
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    People just love a story that gives them the illusion they are smarter and or better than other people. Apparently this type is also the type to believe the Landover Baptists are a real group.

  18. johnk
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    SMH at Christians, Muslims, and other loonies.

    The fact that people cling to archaic fairy tales and superstitions in this day and age is depressing.

  19. ravenhurst
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    jesus saves, passes to moses, SCORE!!!

    sorry, couldn't resist :)

  20. Cayfox
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    DB connect error. It looks like God has smitten the server of the unbelievers and punished their vile iniquities.

  21. Rohin
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Ted:

    "Here we go again - let’s bash all Christians for something the wacky fundamentalists say"

    Surely that's what we do for any religion...Muslims are bombers, Hindus worship a million gods and abuse low castes etc. Religions are defined by their more nutty followers. Not by the average people (apart from Scientology, where the average person IS a nutter).

  22. Jacques
    January 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Here we go with the Hitler as a godless atheist myth. Let the idiot show begin.

  23. sickb*stard
    January 15th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    I envision a world where the more sane christians band together with the rest of us to shun and ridicule the fundies into oblivion.

    I mean, come on, that stuff is embarrassing. Take care of your own people and make sure they're not gonna run their fool-mouths all of the time.

  24. DB
    January 15th, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Uh, is anyone else having trouble with the link?

  25. Pudifoot
    January 15th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    you must be proud... neatorama is finally big enough to fark up web sites :-)

  26. Ali S.
    January 15th, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    @Rohin

    Finally, a smart comment.

  27. VrtclSmile
    January 15th, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    God apparently decided the smite the site - I haven't been able to get it for most of the day.

  28. brady
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    >Actually, Brady, Hitler was a very devout Christian, according to his own writings and a lot of the propaganda used by the Nazis.

    >Here we go with the Hitler as a godless atheist myth. Let the idiot show begin.

    Jacques ad hominem aside:

    Wikipedia:
    "Hitler's private statements are more clear. There are negative statements about Christianity reported by Hitler's intimates, Goebbels, Speer, and Bormann.[17] Joseph Goebbels, for example, notes in a diary entry in 1939: "The Führer is deeply religious, but deeply anti-Christian. He regards Christianity as a symptom of decay." Albert Speer reports a similar statement: “You see, it’s been our misfortune to have the wrong religion. Why didn’t we have the religion of the Japanese, who regard sacrifice for the Fatherland as the highest good? The Mohammedan religion too would have been much more compatible to us than Christianity. Why did it have to be Christianity with its meekness and flabbiness?"[18] In the Hossbach Memorandum Hitler is recorded as saying that "only the disintegrating effect of Christianity, and the symptoms of age" were responsible for the demise of the Roman empire.[19] In 1941, Hitler praised an anti-Christian tract from 362CE, Julian's Against the Galileans, saying "I really hadn't known how clearly a man like Julian had judged Christians and Christianity, one must read this..."[20] He was reported to say that religion should die on its own accord.[21]

    Drawing on higher criticism and some branches of theologically liberal Protestantism, Hitler advocated Positive Christianity, traditional Christianity purged of everything that he found objectionable. Hitler never directed his attacks on Jesus himself,[22] but viewed traditional Christianity as a corruption of the original ideas of Jesus, whom Hitler regarded as an Aryan opponent of the Jews.[23]"

    -----------------------------------

    Any person who claims to be a Christian, and says that Jesus was Aryan, and opposed the Jews, is not a Christian by any definition outside their own and other hate-groups. Even groups commonly considered cults by the mainstream Christian church (jehovah's witnesses, etc.) will tell you that these ideas are lies made up to support propaganda.

  29. A christion
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    umm thats wikipedia... just saying its not the most credible source but whatever

  30. A christion
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    sorry for the double post hit tab and hit enter.

    i love it when people compile a list of quotes then give no proof whatsoever for said quotes. also this is taken from anti fundie site so ofcourse its going to be full of "TOTALLY TRUE QUOTES" about dumb people some may be true but im just saying dont believe everything you see.

    by the way im non denomenational (can't spell right:()

  31. brady
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    >umm thats wikipedia… just saying its not the most credible source but whatever

    OK, so then check the sources it cites. There are plenty of them.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler%27s_religious_beliefs

    i really don't know why you are challenging someone who agrees with your bottom line of this post being stupid.

  32. yo
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Whoever thinks or says that Hitler was a devout Christian is out of their fucking goddamned mind. Give me a break. If there ever was a 20th century Antichrist, he was it.

  33. Mr. Binky
    January 15th, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    The page itself is f'ed up. Go to: http://www.fstdt.com/

  34. Pudifoot
    January 15th, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    I am glad there is a Kent Hovind quote. :-)

  35. just a guy
    January 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    If I may post a link: :D

    Atheism: The Newest Internet Trend

    http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/atheist-atheism.php

    fun stuff

  36. Alex
    January 16th, 2008 at 2:26 am

    The way some atheists rant (like Safran, for example) makes me think that the same hamster that goes up fundies' pants are also up theirs.

    The website is back up - though it's slow. I don't think Neatorama's farked it up - we're too nice of a blog to do such mean things. :)

  37. Rosi
    January 16th, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    This link actually scared me a bit.
    I can't believe that there are so many really stupid people out there.
    I don't have a problem with Christianity (well... the Christians who don't follow the Old Testament, which is insane) but some of its followers worry me...
    Funny, and a bit scary.
    And before everyone starts yelling at me for bashing the Old Testament, have you ever sat down and read it? I have (and no I'm not a Christian although I was raised as one, but that's by the by) and some of the stuff in it is just ridiculous. "Do not eat shellfish for it is unclean" "Do not come into contact with a woman who is menstruating" "Do not wear cloth of two different fabrics" etc. Also in the Old Testment God kills over two billion people and Satan kills ten. Right. Sure glad you've got such a nice guy looking after you there.

  38. jimmynickle
    January 16th, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    So, the Sun is outside of the universe? Stupid Christians!

  39. ted
    January 16th, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    Hey, Rohin.

    Yeah, I don't claim that we, as a society, don't have stereotypes for other religions, too. But that doesn't make it a good thing, does it?

    And you can only really make that claim about Scientologists since they are such a small group - but there are small, divisive groups within the Scientology world, too.

  40. 666
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:14 am

    wwhooaaaaaaaaaa 666 666 666 6666 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 9 9 66 9 6 9 9 9 9 67 9 6


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