My husband was sick last weekend - as in, up at 4 a.m. hugging the Porcelain Goddess sick (and not because of alcohol). So we were up at an ungodly time of the morning. He was dying a slow death and I was flipping channels because I couldn't get back to sleep. I have to say, I got sucked into a number of infomericals that were absolutely horrendous. Is there anything Billy Mays doesn't hawk?
One of my favorites is the Magic Bullet. It sounds suspiciously sexual, but it's really like a mini blender. I actually got one for Christmas a few years ago and I loved it - until the motor burned out after a few months. The informercial is positively addicting though. I thought I was the only one who noticed the strange old lady wandering around with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole commercial, but no: there's a whole YouTube video dedicated to the lovely Hazel.
When I was in high school, the ever-present infomercial was the RonCo Electric Food Dehydrator. I always wanted one of those, but alas, I never got one. He just makes it seem so easy to make beef jerky, turkey jerky, dried fruit and MORE!
I'm cheating, though, because we didn't actually see either of those commericials on T.V. at 5 a.m. last weekend. A couple we did see:
The Handy Switch. Just plug in the receiver in any outlet and then plug in the lamp to the receiver. You can stick its corresponding switch anywhere... even in your car so you can turn the lights on when you pull in the driveway! My favorite part is when Billy Mays says how great it is for kids to be able to turn the light off from bed - the infomercial cuts to a little girl in bed with a lamp within arm's reach on a nightstand on one side of her bed and the switch within arm's reach on the other side. She goes for the switch.
By the way, the number of products that Billy Mays endorses is insane. Here's a sampling: OxyClean, OrangeGlo, Hercules Hooks, Mighty Putty, Easy Off Bam!, Kaboom! products, Bang! Automotive Dent Remover, Bump Be Gone zit cream, Gopher reaching tool, the Grip Wrench and the Ding King automotive Dent Remover (think the Bang! people were mad?).
Here's Billy Mays falling into a bathtub.
Then there's the Shamwow. It holds 20 times its weight in liquid!! The Web site says you'll never have to use paper towels again - unless you're prone to using them as napkins. But it's not just for spills and car washing, oh no!! You can even use the Shamwow as a towel. Cut it in half and you'll have two towels!! I'm glad they do the math for those of us who aren't so hot at calculations. Shamwow isn't promoted by Billy Mays, so it probably isn't that great.
Feeling sick? It's probably all of those toxins in your body - we all have them. What you need are Takara Detox Foot Patches. You just attach the pads to the bottom of your feet before going to bed and when you wake up in the morning, the pad will be black with all of the horrible toxins it has sucked out of your body. Asbestos? Mercury? No match for Takara Detox Foot Patches.
Yeah. It's a good thing Paul didn't get sick any earlier in the morning, because I would have totally been suckered into buying something if I had been exposed to these much longer. If the food dehydrator commercial had come on, I definitely would have been picking up my phone.
So, on the infomercial topic - what have you tried? What has actually worked and what has been a complete waste of money? Any food dehydrator users??
One of my favorites is the Magic Bullet. It sounds suspiciously sexual, but it's really like a mini blender. I actually got one for Christmas a few years ago and I loved it - until the motor burned out after a few months. The informercial is positively addicting though. I thought I was the only one who noticed the strange old lady wandering around with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole commercial, but no: there's a whole YouTube video dedicated to the lovely Hazel.
When I was in high school, the ever-present infomercial was the RonCo Electric Food Dehydrator. I always wanted one of those, but alas, I never got one. He just makes it seem so easy to make beef jerky, turkey jerky, dried fruit and MORE!
I'm cheating, though, because we didn't actually see either of those commericials on T.V. at 5 a.m. last weekend. A couple we did see:
The Handy Switch. Just plug in the receiver in any outlet and then plug in the lamp to the receiver. You can stick its corresponding switch anywhere... even in your car so you can turn the lights on when you pull in the driveway! My favorite part is when Billy Mays says how great it is for kids to be able to turn the light off from bed - the infomercial cuts to a little girl in bed with a lamp within arm's reach on a nightstand on one side of her bed and the switch within arm's reach on the other side. She goes for the switch.
By the way, the number of products that Billy Mays endorses is insane. Here's a sampling: OxyClean, OrangeGlo, Hercules Hooks, Mighty Putty, Easy Off Bam!, Kaboom! products, Bang! Automotive Dent Remover, Bump Be Gone zit cream, Gopher reaching tool, the Grip Wrench and the Ding King automotive Dent Remover (think the Bang! people were mad?).
Here's Billy Mays falling into a bathtub.
Then there's the Shamwow. It holds 20 times its weight in liquid!! The Web site says you'll never have to use paper towels again - unless you're prone to using them as napkins. But it's not just for spills and car washing, oh no!! You can even use the Shamwow as a towel. Cut it in half and you'll have two towels!! I'm glad they do the math for those of us who aren't so hot at calculations. Shamwow isn't promoted by Billy Mays, so it probably isn't that great.
Feeling sick? It's probably all of those toxins in your body - we all have them. What you need are Takara Detox Foot Patches. You just attach the pads to the bottom of your feet before going to bed and when you wake up in the morning, the pad will be black with all of the horrible toxins it has sucked out of your body. Asbestos? Mercury? No match for Takara Detox Foot Patches.
Yeah. It's a good thing Paul didn't get sick any earlier in the morning, because I would have totally been suckered into buying something if I had been exposed to these much longer. If the food dehydrator commercial had come on, I definitely would have been picking up my phone.
So, on the infomercial topic - what have you tried? What has actually worked and what has been a complete waste of money? Any food dehydrator users??
Not to mention stuff like dial up to DSL to broadband. When will it end?
soy sauce
liquid smoke - i think it's in the spice aisle and it's only a couple bucks -but you gotta have that smoky flavor.
and pepper.
soak the meat overnight in a big pan with enough water to cover the meat, about a cup of soy sauce per pound of meat and about 2 TBSP of the liquid smoke. then, just lay the meat in the trays and shake some pepper on it. if you start in the morning - you'll be eatin' jerky for dinner! if you want the teryaki style - sorry, i don't do that.
in conclusion - buy a Food Dehydrator...NOW. i just buy whatever kind they have at Walmart for about $30. it's soooooo worth it.
Magic Bullet is the most requested brand name item on our local freecycle board, by the way. It will make you ten pounds slimmer just thinking about it.... right?
That's the exact OPPOSITE of what trees do!
Having an insomniac as a father in law, I'm the lucky recipient of many infomercial items. Here's an honest run down of stuff I've received (and used):
- RotoZip (a spiral saw): The one thing that the infomercial didn't tell you is how loud the sucker is. It's like a screaming banshee when you turn it on and cut into something. The bits have a tendency to wonder (if you don't cut in the right way - counterclockwise or clockwise, I forgot which). It worked all right, but other tools do the same thing better (like if you want to cut into drywall, then a drywall saw works just fine... without the ear damage that comes with using the spiral saw)
- Little Giant Ladder (folding ladder): Works perfectly fine, except that for a lot less money, you can buy a ladder that does the same thing at Home Depot. Heck, you can buy TWO ladders!
- George Foreman Grill: worked like once or twice, then it stopped working. Which is okay, because crud started to build up around the grill anyhow. I later heard that to shoot the infomercial, they run through dozens of grills.
- The Gopher (a grabber tool): Works pretty good, actually. If I had to buy something on an Infomercial, this would be it. The tool looks kind of silly, but it has come in handy to pick up toys and whatnot off the floor!
Don't want to offend anybody, but honestly -- a juicer? Why would you waste your money on something so useless? It's been proven that it's much better to actually eat fruits than drink them.
Just so you know... Dehyrdated Spam is pretty terrible. But, Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage links in the dehydrator are delicious!
I **HATE** the Dual Action Cleanse infomercials with Klee Irwin. He talks about his 4-year old's bowel movement and actually shows someone's humongous poop dangling from a stick. Those "detox" things are all a bunch of hooey anyway, but this creepy looking guy makes them downright disturbing.
With that said: I've had a lot of the "as seen on TV" stuff that was just pure crap, broke in a week, etc. OTOH, I have four that have lasted and stand out as nominees for greatness:
I have a Magic Bullet, and it works great. It does all the chopping and crushing as seen on the infomercial, but my favorite aspect is how easy everything is to clean. That, and I can do small quantities without having to drag out the Cuisinart.
I also have a George Foreman grill, the red one with the interchangeable plates. It's lasted for three years now, and the only thing I haven't done with it is make waffles. I've done everything MoonCake has, but with the griddle plate I can also make omelettes and bake biscuits. Even better, I got it as a gift so it was free!
What else...I have a Gopher. It's great for snatching things off the floor before the dogs can get them, they're afraid of it.
Last but not least, I have the One Sweep broom. If you have animals that shed, you need one of these. Sweeping by pulling the broom toward you picks up a lot of hair. Also, when it snows, I take this broom outside to push the snow off the cars. There's a little squeegee on the opposite side and it doesn't scratch the paint.
Back in the early 90s my brother wanted those extendable toys... you know, the ones that kind of look like light sabers. The set came with a red one and a black one and my mom finally got tired of listening to him talk about them, so she bought them. That was the worst toy ever, because all he did was hit me, and because they were hollow it stung so bad.
The Tiddy Bear.
The name -cannot- be a mistake. I'm convinced it was intentional just so they could find a way to sneak a word sounding like "titty" into a commercial/product.
They're basically reject looking Beanie Babies with a velcro strap put into their backs... so they can be strapped onto a seat belt right over women's... titties... to cushion the straps.
Every hilariously bad infomercial cliche is jam packed into a 1 minute commercial. "Act now! And we'll send you TWO! for the price of ONE!", bad acting showing a man or a woman getting "strangled" by the seat belt until they put a Titty Bear on... Children acting miracously overjoyed that they have one handed to them... you name it.
i would say it's good, not great. i hope you can get spare gaskets somewhere, because they wear out.
i actually prefer to use my braun hand blender, which is quieter, better quality and even easier to clean.
You just set it...
Foreman Grill- was actually good! Cooked fast and easy. My brother just bought the new one with the 5 interchangeable plates, (flat griddle, grill, waffle etc) he uses it every night. Great for Paninis too!
Pasta Machine- We used it a few times, and the pasta was ok and cooked much faster than dry pasta, but the expense of buying all the ingredients stopped us from using it more. The cleanup was a pain in the butt. We gave it away.
Spin and save/stack?? Microwave dishes- still have them. They worked ok, lids still go on. Outlasted the microwave etc. Im sure if they were washed in a dishwasher they wouldnt hold up well. I hated the crevace on the top of the dish though, food always got stuck there. Lids never stayed on well. Just buy a nice set of tupperware. Hell gladware reusables are better.
Swivel Sweeper- piece of plastic crap that never picked up much.
Shark Sweeper- my house has gone through 3 of them already. Works for a while, but the brushes get clogged too easy so you have to keep stopping and unclogging, and eventually the motor runs out within a few months. I tell them to just buy a nice vacum, but my mom is in denial.
Caruso steam curlers- I wanted these so bad when I was a teen. It was bulky and a pain to use, the covers that you clamp the curler on with, never snapped on right. The foam curlers got creased and squashed down permanently after one use. Curls didnt hold at all. Steamer smelled like toxic plastic. Burned my hand on the curler.
Oxyclean- works great. Is put in many regular cleansers now.
Rotozip- hard to control and wandered. Didn't go through harder woods at all.
OveGlove- Works well. Cheaper versions out there now.
Rolling bar thing for crunches- never stayed put while working out. Bars always loosened and unsnapped.
Wheel with handles that you use to push out and pull in for abs.. ab roller?? - hell on wheels. You can push out, cant pull in.. rolls away.. broke.
The Firm- works well, if you keep using the system and DVD.
Tae-bo- good workout, if you keep up with it.
LePresse chopper- Huge gadget that is too tall to fit under cupboards. Many bulky attatchments for the chopper, hard to clean. Easier to chop with a knife.
new super shammy thing- works well, no smell, sucks up tons of liquid and you get a bunch of them in the pack.
New knives that cut through cans etc (2007)- my grandfather just got them for xmas. They are SHARP!! Almost got my finger. I dont care for the curved blades, but after a while you get used to them.
Conair straightening hairdryer- I got this for xmas last year. It doesnt work well. The teeth either grabbed my hair to hard or didnt grab at all even when fixing the tension settings. Didnt straighten my hair much but dried it. I have a handheld blower/brush/straightener by conair that is a barrel shape like a curling Iron you can use to straighten or wave that I bought 9 years ago that works way better. If you want straight and dry, they have new flat irons that dry that work well. I only use this now for a sub-par blowdryer.
Ronco rotisserie- BEST thing we ever bought. My family has the original large one that came out. We use it constantly and it works so well. We might need a new one soon because after many many years of use it squeaks like crazy. It cooks meat perfectly and juicy. and you do just set and forget it lol. Cooks turkey in 1/2 the time, super moist meat and crisp skin. Chickens and Pork roast are the best!
There are many more, but I cant think of them right now. lol
I will let you know how much I love them compared to the knifes my brother in law gaved me. ( Cook knifes from a restaurant ).
I usually never watch those ads and buy their stuff even less often... with my girlfriend it's another story: She bought the Tweeze ( It dosen't work, just like I told her ).
You deserve what you buy.
Ahem.
I once watched the bowflex commercial for 3 hours straight and was convinced we needed one for a month after. A Local radio DJ tells of buying 130$ worth of orange glow while drunk one night.
I love Billy Mays.
I'd kill for a food dehydrator, Jerky whenever I wanted it? And mum would shut up about sulfates in it.
I think I just found a good use for my christmas money. Walmart you say?
And we've got oxyclean. . . Saved my life when I got the ink all over the chair that one time, haha. Takes stairs out nicely as well.
I love infomercials and how the people on them exaggerate soooo much! They are so clumsy until they have the said product in hand then they are master chefs or whatever!
Does anyone remember Jack Lalane's power juicer and the spoof on In Living Color with Jim Carrey? Classic!!
The best is the Tater Mitts that supposedly rub off the skins of potatoes. If you watch the commercial... the person shows you one side of the potato with the skin, then rubs it and shows you the other side that doesn't have skin!! CHEATERS!!
My favorite ones are the ones that start by showing how difficult some normal task is, such as making cookies or cooking pasta, but then show how easy it is with some new product like the cookie dough shooter (looks like a giant syringe or caulking gun) and the pasta pot with the built in colander lid.
I have a Tweeze which sucks.