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As seen on T.V.

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My husband was sick last weekend - as in, up at 4 a.m. hugging the Porcelain Goddess sick (and not because of alcohol). So we were up at an ungodly time of the morning. He was dying a slow death and I was flipping channels because I couldn't get back to sleep. I have to say, I got sucked into a number of infomericals that were absolutely horrendous. Is there anything Billy Mays doesn't hawk?

One of my favorites is the Magic Bullet. It sounds suspiciously sexual, but it's really like a mini blender. I actually got one for Christmas a few years ago and I loved it - until the motor burned out after a few months. The informercial is positively addicting though. I thought I was the only one who noticed the strange old lady wandering around with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole commercial, but no: there's a whole YouTube video dedicated to the lovely Hazel.



When I was in high school, the ever-present infomercial was the RonCo Electric Food Dehydrator. I always wanted one of those, but alas, I never got one. He just makes it seem so easy to make beef jerky, turkey jerky, dried fruit and MORE!

I'm cheating, though, because we didn't actually see either of those commericials on T.V. at 5 a.m. last weekend. A couple we did see:

The Handy Switch. Just plug in the receiver in any outlet and then plug in the lamp to the receiver. You can stick its corresponding switch anywhere... even in your car so you can turn the lights on when you pull in the driveway! My favorite part is when Billy Mays says how great it is for kids to be able to turn the light off from bed - the infomercial cuts to a little girl in bed with a lamp within arm's reach on a nightstand on one side of her bed and the switch within arm's reach on the other side. She goes for the switch.
By the way, the number of products that Billy Mays endorses is insane. Here's a sampling: OxyClean, OrangeGlo, Hercules Hooks, Mighty Putty, Easy Off Bam!, Kaboom! products, Bang! Automotive Dent Remover, Bump Be Gone zit cream, Gopher reaching tool, the Grip Wrench and the Ding King automotive Dent Remover (think the Bang! people were mad?).

Here's Billy Mays falling into a bathtub.


Then there's the Shamwow. It holds 20 times its weight in liquid!! The Web site says you'll never have to use paper towels again - unless you're prone to using them as napkins. But it's not just for spills and car washing, oh no!! You can even use the Shamwow as a towel. Cut it in half and you'll have two towels!! I'm glad they do the math for those of us who aren't so hot at calculations. Shamwow isn't promoted by Billy Mays, so it probably isn't that great.

Feeling sick? It's probably all of those toxins in your body - we all have them. What you need are Takara Detox Foot Patches. You just attach the pads to the bottom of your feet before going to bed and when you wake up in the morning, the pad will be black with all of the horrible toxins it has sucked out of your body. Asbestos? Mercury? No match for Takara Detox Foot Patches.

Yeah. It's a good thing Paul didn't get sick any earlier in the morning, because I would have totally been suckered into buying something if I had been exposed to these much longer. If the food dehydrator commercial had come on, I definitely would have been picking up my phone.

So, on the infomercial topic - what have you tried? What has actually worked and what has been a complete waste of money? Any food dehydrator users??

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I once saw a 30-minute infomercial that left me agape with unbelief, besides being hilarious. It showed people boxing a dummy that was shaped like a robot. It even had a really stupid name, like "Mr. Robot" or something. With completely straight faces men and women in excercise gear testified how boxing "Mr. Robot" helped them lose weight, get in shape, relieve stress, etc. And this went on for 30 minutes of expensive television airtime! I only saw it once, must have been a poor seller (I wonder why?). I wish I could remember the actual name of the product, it's a classic!
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I have a Roomba, which I lusted after for years before buying it. It is the single most wonderful item I have ever bought.

I have a Tweeze which sucks.
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I have the Magic Bullet...It was an xmas gift a couple of years ago. I love it and use it all the time. It does make a lot of things a lot easier, like chopping up my garlic (however, I think they had someone cut the garlic in the tv spot, then put it in the cup), Mixing quick drinks, and other things. It's handy and hasn't faild me yet.
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I love the Ronco Rotisserie cooker. I'm glad the infomercial went off the air because ever time it was one I was this close to buying it. I heard they cook great but are hell to keep clean.
My favorite ones are the ones that start by showing how difficult some normal task is, such as making cookies or cooking pasta, but then show how easy it is with some new product like the cookie dough shooter (looks like a giant syringe or caulking gun) and the pasta pot with the built in colander lid.
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I got sucked into buying an ionic hairdryer when they first came out. When I called to order, they suckered my into buying a second one (for cheaper), which I thought I would give as a gift. After receiving the products, I used one a few times then it started sparking and wouldn't turn off!! So it was broke and I ended up using the other one I bought instead of giving it to my friend! I think I still use it...

I love infomercials and how the people on them exaggerate soooo much! They are so clumsy until they have the said product in hand then they are master chefs or whatever!

Does anyone remember Jack Lalane's power juicer and the spoof on In Living Color with Jim Carrey? Classic!!

The best is the Tater Mitts that supposedly rub off the skins of potatoes. If you watch the commercial... the person shows you one side of the potato with the skin, then rubs it and shows you the other side that doesn't have skin!! CHEATERS!!
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