Caption Monkey 15: Running Man

1. donna
   December 4th, 2007 at 4:10 am

   Mercury he ain't....

2. Rafael
   December 4th, 2007 at 5:03 am

   "Whatever it takes... it's FedEx"

3. Pj
   December 4th, 2007 at 6:01 am

   UPS YES

4. d Lee
   December 4th, 2007 at 6:04 am

   WikiCharades: FedEx Custom Critical Surface and Air Expedite (Domestic service shown; jump higher to denote International service)

5. Mark
   December 4th, 2007 at 7:02 am

   "wherever he's running, he'll be there by 10AM tomorrow"

   or

   "WILSON!"

6. James
   December 4th, 2007 at 7:10 am

   Tommy eagerly ran to the church to show off his new Pope Hat.

7. k
   December 4th, 2007 at 7:36 am

   This is what happens when you drink a case of Redbull on a workday.

8. nick
   December 4th, 2007 at 7:50 am

   he's looking for the arrow in fedex.

9. Milkman
   December 4th, 2007 at 7:59 am

   The Vatican has seriously cut back in the sub-prime fallout.

10. Eric
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:28 am

    "Please note how world-class sprinter Johann McDingus has cleverly oriented the packaging envelope to give himself maximum aerodynamic qualities. It is no accident he is flying down the track."

11. Eric
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:30 am

    OK mods, if that one does not pass muster (as the system just warned me it might not) I will change it to this:

    “Please note how world-class sprinter Johann McNoodle has cleverly oriented the packaging envelope to give himself maximum aerodynamic qualities. It is no accident he is flying down the track.”

12. Andrew32
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:33 am

    Due to rising gas prices, fed ex has had to cut back on their spending limit.

13. Eric
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:33 am

    Mods, if the last one is too risque. please delete and substitute this one:

    “Please note how world-class sprinter Johann McNoodle has cleverly oriented the packaging envelope to give himself maximum aerodynamic qualities. It is no accident he is flying down the track.”

14. Eric
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:34 am

    GAH! Stupid double post, my bad. Please delete.

15. firat
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:41 am

    FedEx re-inventes the Sneakernet!

16. Amanda
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:48 am

    I never knew that FedEx gave head.

17. mags
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:48 am

    what can i do? the chefs job pays lousy money! now i'm deliver FedEx on the side, and all i gotta do is change the logo on the hat!

18. Hat
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:57 am

    LOOK! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's FedEx Boy!

19. Jennifer
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:59 am

    When it absolutely must get there by tomorrow...

20. soops
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:02 am

    "..old legend that says a woman’s bare breasts will calm the seas..."
    Some sailors were abroad, bored, with broads aboard methinks.
    Arrr.

21. soops
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:03 am

    I only went and commented on the wrong bloody post didn't I... that was meant for the lucky charms post...
    Dag Nammit.

22. matt
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:11 am

    (from a graduate level biology text)

    Pentaphylangecoco, file photo (2003). Note the coconut tree protrusion stemming from subject's pinky finger.

23. Ian
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:25 am

    Not having an envelope large enough for the whole statue, the base got misplaced during transit. FedEx assures us that they're doing everything they can to locate it.

24. Dan
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:49 am

    supaman that ho!

25. rhea_sun
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:09 am

    By Air and Land, FedEx Delivers.

26. chris
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:30 am

    Sorry to interupt your program....We have word that an illegal alien who has just gained entry into the United states by Fed Exing himself, was last seen running eastbound on Freedom St. with the Fed Ex envelope still stuck on his head.

27. Sean
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:31 am

    No matter how fast FedEx Boy runs, there's no escaping the fact that he's "light in the loafers".

28. J.F.H.
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:12 am

    "Billy demonstrates the illustrious male mating ritual in hopes that the ovulating city palm will choose him as courter."

29. The Monkey Buddha
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:19 am

    Unfortunately, this is the only way he can get his face into someone's box...

30. billy
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:20 am

    "Due to cut-backs in the Witness Protection Program, Corey was still on the run."

31. Joip
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:30 am

    Something is wrong here... I'm thinking thoughts I don't like. Quick, help me mail my head back to Dr. Ignitus!

32. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:43 am

    We're streaking! We're streaking!

33. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Fedex Envelope: Free
    Iphone in Back Pocket: $500
    Highwater Flood Pants: $40
    Knowing that you could totally pwn the jerks who are chasing you at World of Warcraft?: Priceless

34. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Cory Doctorow: the early years

35. Vorple
    December 4th, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Zak's attempts at creative thinking involved encasing his head in a box-deflecting envelope and running mightily to "think ahead."

36. Andi
    December 4th, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    And now a scene from Cast Away 2: Wilson's Revenge.

37. badiuk
    December 4th, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Cast away Forest Gump.

38. ben
    December 4th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Howie begins to realize that it would take much more than the mailman's magic envelope to sufficiently improve his vertical leap.

39. Dani
    December 4th, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    The Nerd On Time

40. panicronic
    December 4th, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    Taking cues from Bangkok, Fedex starts the first ever "Naughty delivery boy run of shame". The lucky winner (pictured here) will receive a scrotal massage.

41. Thespian24601
    December 4th, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    FedEx Ground? Nope
    FedEx Air? Nope
    Teen excited that he just completed his special edition World of Warcraft Comic Book collection? Of Course.

42. Eibmoz
    December 4th, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    Kevin Federline tries unsucessfully to elude the paparazzi

43. Xayzer
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    "My idea to Fedex myself through the US border needed some more planning" - Thought Enrique while being chased by the border patrol police.

44. Jerad
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    When you absolutely positively have to be there...

45. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    *huff huff* stupid *huff huff* pledge week *wheeze*

46. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    Aaaarrrrrgh! Midgets!!!!

47. Ian Schwartz
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Do you like my new letterhead?

48. Fitz
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    The aftermath of the FedEx driver's strike.

49. Political Comment
    December 4th, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    Fed Ex goes green.

    Or

    Fed Ex: Now with lower carbon emissions.

50. gabtastic
    December 4th, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    "Fed Ex boy, away!"
    (*flies away to save the day.*)

51. ben
    December 4th, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    A hundred weary miles from Burning Man, Gene realized he's been fed ex.

52. Joe Fanning
    December 4th, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    Edward was overjoyed when people finally "got" him.

53. the Alcatraz Kid
    December 4th, 2007 at 7:29 pm

    Tom Hanks?

54. DVD playa
    December 4th, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Fed Ex goes "Green"

55. Mikb
    December 4th, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    " GOD SPEED MR MAIL MAN "

56. Mikb
    December 4th, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    thats right officer, he just came out of nowhere screaming, "the feds are after me!"

57. Jordan Urbani
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:45 pm

    The Fedex Pope is always on time. Always.

58. Lauren
    December 4th, 2007 at 8:53 pm

    LOOK AT THIS HEAD I SNATCHED FROM THE FEDEX TRUCK!Hahahaha!

59. Cori
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    FedEx Kinko's, your one stop shop for shipping, photocopying, printing, binding, and cool hats that provide super-human jumping skills.

60. Steve
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    When you absolutely, positively have to look like an idiot...

61. Katelyn
    December 4th, 2007 at 9:35 pm

    ...but poor Billy couldn't take his friend, Mr. Tree, along with him.

62. Adam Farrington
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    Wolverine is a wussy compared to the fedex-men. What a badass, he's half envelope.

63. Adam Farrington
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Pushing the envelope, or getting pushed out of one?

64. Drea
    December 4th, 2007 at 10:41 pm

    Overnight? I'll get it there in 1 hour!

65. farty
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    here i come to save the dayyyyy!

66. farty
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:39 pm

    i never saw a package that could deliver itself

67. farty
    December 4th, 2007 at 11:41 pm

    the human head i ordered on ebay came with the body still alive and attached

68. Jerse
    December 5th, 2007 at 2:10 am

    To outdo his opponents, FedEx Man decides to javelin a palm tree!

69. Rasmaestro
    December 5th, 2007 at 6:40 am

    The late Kenny "The Ostrich" McLaren during his his 7th attempted escape from the J. Edgar Hoover Mental Ward.
    Ironically, that time he really DID appear quite invisible to the oncoming garbage truck.

70. Ian Schwartz
    December 5th, 2007 at 9:56 am

    Billy Elliot II: The Envelopening

71. Benny
    December 5th, 2007 at 11:42 am

    Fed Ex: you are doing it wrong.

    UPS: Brown won't do this to you.

    "It's around then that Jimmy realized there might be some flaw in his 'flawless plan'"

72. Ian Schwartz
    December 5th, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    "Don't worry Uncle Mom and Aunt Dad! I'm a-comin'!'

73. Chris
    December 5th, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Local's "sea boy" shipment accidentally animated and escapes

74. Chris
    December 5th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    One rainy day, a local’s “sea monkey” shipment was accidentally animated and escapes

75. Alexis
    December 5th, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    "NO, this is not Tom Hanks!"

76. heather
    December 5th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    "Deliveryman, AWAYY!!"

77. Ian Schwartz
    December 5th, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    LARPing: Now even dorkier.

78. Ian Schwartz
    December 5th, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    invizible finish line

79. Jim Nightshade
    December 5th, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Relax,it's Steve.

80. Dirk
    December 5th, 2007 at 7:16 pm

    "Johnny always wondered what it would be like to wear the magic hat that always came with his brother's delicious, multicolored, lead juice."

81. Dirk
    December 5th, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    EDIT:

    “Johnny always wondered what it would be like to wear the magic hat that came with his brother’s delicious, multicolored, lead juice.”

82. Stephan
    December 6th, 2007 at 6:21 pm

    The dish powered up, the levitation field intensified, and Roger clung tightly to the handle of his palm pilot, praying that his first day as FedEx galactic deliveryman wouldn't be his last.

83. Dev Anand
    December 8th, 2007 at 10:52 am

    FedEx expedited service door to door.

84. moxie
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    Gas prices keeping you down? Ship yourself, get there by 10am the next day. New from FEDEX

85. Kayla
    January 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 am

    i would never imagine someone who would do tht .

    i would if he feel becasue he didntk nwo where he was .

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