Caption Monkey 14: Fat Coot!

i like big birds, and I cannot lie….

I’ll be out in a minuite mom i got one hung!

That’s no moon…

You know, real coots have curves

And here we have the elusive Brunswick Blackbird

Oh Tyrone…You silly fat C**t

come on, big fart!

and here we see the wild COCO PUFF

So Morgan Freeman blackballed me from this penguin flick…Said I couldn’t march.

I”m not fat I’m Big Boned.
or
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

Harold was less than pleased when his spreading, pale patch earned him the nickname ‘Jacko’.

I didn’t say I was a turkey…I said I ate too much turkey!

Hi… I’m Chubba!

And I’m fat….
My Mama’s fat,
My Papa’s fat,
Even my pet flea is fat.

One day, Mama said…
Chubba, can you smile under all that blubba?
I said…why sure Moma!

This is why feeding birds alka seltzers is a bad idea.

xD

no, for real. they explode. O_o

It wasn’t that Francine didn’t want to go bottom-feeding with the rest of the girls. She would have done anything to kick her partially webbed toes in the air while struggling to nip weeds from the slime-covered bottom of St. James’ Park’s lagoon. Her hideously inflated digestive tract was the issue. But little did Francine know that her rather embarassing intestinal gas problem was soon to become a potentially deadly affliction; it was the 3rd annual “Let Your Dogs Run Wild in the Park” day, and a sturdy bull mastiff had just taken a shine to the poor coot’s arousingly swollen hindquarters.

“Sure I was BIG enough, but they didn’t think I was ‘yellow’ enough for the role.”

Tell me honestly, does this make me look fat?

A hush descended on the crowd at Cape Canaveral as the first natural-gas, jet-powered flight was about to commence.

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

FRAN! FRAN THE WATER HEATER BLEW AGAIN!

………….and National Geographic photographer “Bud” Johnson paused for a moment…. fondly remembering his adorable yet chubby wife waiting for him back home 5,000 miles away ….

He can’t walk on water.
That proves it, Jesus was not a fat coot.

Thinking no one would object to another crazy coot in his cabinet, President Bush today introduced his choice to replace his outgoing antiterrorism advisor.

Atkins Schmatkins

When the coot can’t poot… try Exlax.

“Have to get to K-Mart. 400 Oak Street. The sign said ‘Don’t Walk’. Have to get to K-Mart.”

“Right now, a bucket of Midol would be REALLY nice.”

“Hey, I’m not fat! I’m just extremely fluffy.”

“To answer your stupid question: Yes, I am allergic to bee stings.”

Please be gentle.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we here at the San Diego zoo have an important announcement for you, the press, on this sunny afternoon. Our captive breeding program, already a success with the Giant Pandas you know and love, have cross-bread a common coot, native to South America, with Star Jones. They will be hosting a new series on WTV later this year. We will take questions at this time”

Calvin the Coot learns an important lesson: “…and I promise myself that I’ll never again take a dare to eat a live blowfish.”

Cute coot, nice suit!
Awwww – bad snoot, clogged shute?

Kwaneese, gurl, lets me tell you bout dese new shoes I done picked up at tha Wal-Mart. Gurl. You know I hads to go up in there and get me a new dress to wear to Shondricack’s momma’s cousin’s baby shower. Anyway. I had just got up on one of them ride-along carts – you know, cause I gots the elephant diseases – when I turn around there was these just FLY black and white sandals. I just threw them up on my buggy and paid for it with my food stamps. What color you think I need to paint my toenails?

next tiem werz teh swim dapurs

“Yeah, I’m fat. So what? That’s just how I roll.”

dude this is nice i never seen nothing like it … i looks like a duck animal thing .

but then again

it looks like a ball .