The Book of SPAM Caption Contest

• JackWH
  October 23rd, 2007 at 4:59 am

  What’s that you’re eating, darling?

• JackWH
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 am

  Gosh! It’s meat in a can - It must be…

  (Surely I get extra marks because it half rhymes? ;-))

• D Scurt
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 am

  Hey Gracie, What’s Maps backwards?

• Sam Kimpton
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:52 am

  “Would you like to have a larger penis in 30 da–”

• frenki
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:53 am

  Better than ham? And you call it…?

• Sam Kimpton
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:54 am

  “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, SPAM SPAAAAAAM, Wonderful Spam!”

• frenki
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:55 am

  Spim? Spom? Spum?

• Sam Kimpton
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:56 am

  Boy, I could sure go for something, eggs, sausage and something. But what?

• Florent
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:04 am

  Save $1000s NOW by re-financing your home!

• Erik
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:05 am

  Oh my, fresh spamcakes!

• sam
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:07 am

  That’s not spam.. that’s my frickin kneecap!

• Jann Michael
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:14 am

  Say SPAM, Gracie.

• Jann Michael
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:19 am

  Say SPAM, Gracie and WIN A FREE iPOD!!!

• Mark
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:21 am

  No holds barred, that Spam is one breakfast meat I love to eat!

• Jann Michael
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:24 am

  ENTER the Funniest caption and WIN FREE THE BOOK of SPAM

• Harry Kmiec
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:01 am

  Gracie, what’s your favorite mealtime comeback line of the day?

• Simon
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:27 am

  Greetings Beloved.,, I know this email may arrive as unknown and suprised,and ope it meets regardless with your personal ethics. I am Mr. Joshua Bengal of Nigeria…

• L.B. Jeffries
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:37 am

  Wait, you’re telling me I can eat it AND it doesn’t get all bloody once a month?

• marchino
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:41 am

  Gosh! You s-pamper me!

• andrew
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:58 am

  I LOVE HOW YOU FORK MY PORK!

• andrew
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:59 am

  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?

• felix
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:01 am

  SPAM?

• felix
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:08 am

  George: Honey, do you want my erection to last UP TO 10 TIME LONGER?!!!

  Gracie: SPAM!

  (its almost like shes a comic superhero and when she punches someone the word SPAM is written in BIG letters)

• felix
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:09 am

  dear, your skin is so smooth, what do you use?

• Heather
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:36 am

  Spam and hotcakes! I LOVE you Gracie!

• Erik
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:37 am

  So Gracie, what else is there to combine Spam with?

• Erik
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:45 am

  I’ll have the Spam egg Spam Spam bacon and…

• Dan
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:50 am

  Gee, Gracie. I’ve reminded you every day of our marriage that I’m Jewish and can’t eat pork. So … what’s for dinner?

• nalden
  October 23rd, 2007 at 9:08 am

  Delicious Spamcakes! and… OH, GOD! What is that mystery meat?!

• Ben
  October 23rd, 2007 at 9:17 am

  Hi Gracie. Tell me, is your tourettes getting any better?

• Vorpal
  October 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 am

  Why, Gracie, that’s not bacn it’s…

• rAfI
  October 23rd, 2007 at 9:44 am

  Spam for breakfast. I´d like a spammer, i need this book

  I´d love it & i love´d coldchiliandhotchilly.com

• Miniature Brainwave
  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:17 am

  I used to be a woman.

• gwdMaine
  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:19 am

  Oh God! I hope that’s not Lambchops!

• nerfherder
  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:21 am

  Say Gracie, what’d you make of that canned meat salesman?

• Mr. T
  October 23rd, 2007 at 1:05 pm

  Say goodnight Spam!

• matt
  October 23rd, 2007 at 1:34 pm

  Wow, Gracie. That’s an enormous plate of food!

• dpatrickrodgers
  October 23rd, 2007 at 1:39 pm

  Dear God, no! Soilent SPAM is people! It’s PEEEEOOOPLLLEEE!

• Marcelo Leite
  October 23rd, 2007 at 1:41 pm

  OMFG !!! Is this…

  (And then Gracie answers (SPAM!))

• Justin
  October 23rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm

  Gracie you don’t actually eat it!

• Henry
  October 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm

  I don’t want no spam! Gimme my steak woman!

• Paul
  October 23rd, 2007 at 2:44 pm

  Holy SPAM! What the HORMEL is THAT!?

• Vorpal
  October 23rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm

  What’s our virtual legacy, Gracie?

• Vorpal
  October 23rd, 2007 at 3:34 pm

  I don’t think microwaving means waving a microphone, Gracie, but let’s dig into that…

• Vorpal
  October 23rd, 2007 at 3:42 pm

  We’d better hurry, Gracie, or we’ll be late for our cardio…

• Charlie
  October 23rd, 2007 at 3:46 pm

  Spamit Janet!

• LuAllen
  October 23rd, 2007 at 4:07 pm

  Spam?

• Jay W
  October 23rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm

  Gracie, What did you do to our pet gerbil?!

• celebrayden
  October 23rd, 2007 at 4:56 pm

  Who is the meat, who would share his tin with his brother meats?

  SPAM!

  You’re damn right.

• Josh
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:06 pm

  “This thing I’m pointing at for money is called….”

• stephen j frankenberry
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:08 pm

  “…and you know gracie, if i eat it backwards i’ll never have to ask for directions again!”

• steve
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm

  PrE$CR!P†!0n DrÜ6s.

• Jeffrey
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:25 pm

  You can eat spam in my bed anytime Gracie-I’ll even take out my cigar this time!

• robert
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:27 pm

  ooh are you realy gonna eat that?

• John Stirman
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:30 pm

  I love mechanically separated chicken! It’s Spam-a-licous!

• Brittany Anne
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:44 pm

  You can’t believe what I brought home for our all american meal honey!

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:44 pm

  hey Gracie, bad news. i’ve got the runs something fierce. you know what that calls for!…

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:46 pm

  hey Gracie, bad news. i’ve got the runs something fierce. you know what that calls for!…

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:48 pm

  Segmented Precooked Artificial Meat: it’s what’s for dinner

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm

  lolz, i’ve got one: what do you get when you cross Gary Thuerk with hotmail?

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm

  Spum!
  Spam!
  right, Spam

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:55 pm

  fried, baked, snorted or stewed. i gotta have my…!

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:56 pm

  what does this growth on my thigh look like to you?

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 5:57 pm

  what do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord?

• Adam Farrington
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:16 pm

  Sure babe, as long as it’s certified organic.

• Adam Farrington
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:20 pm

  I can’t believe it’s not butter!

• Adam Farrington
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:24 pm

  Hi Grace Spamllen, can I spample some of your spam?

• Adam Farrington
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:28 pm

  I’ve been having SPAMtacies about SPAMwiches and SPAMbake all day!

• ambassdor
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:33 pm

  disc0unt v14gr4 pills & enl4rge y0r j0hnson p1llz!

• ambassdor
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:37 pm

  I heard last week the Tibetan monetary quit being vegetarians Gracie… any idea why?

• ambassdor
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:41 pm

  Gracie. Are you sure that tin you bought 20 years ago is safe to eat?

• Diana
  October 23rd, 2007 at 6:49 pm

  George: Look that is the most disgusting thing I ever fu… OOOOH Shiny cannn! Must HAVE….

  Gracie: Spam?

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:09 pm

  hey gracie, the toilet’s clogged again. any idea why?

• Thomas
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:12 pm

  hey gracie, i’m going out to my fifties swingers party but i’m all out of hair greese, do you have anything i can use?

• syed
  October 23rd, 2007 at 7:38 pm

  Holly cow! Is that what I think it is?

• Phil
  October 23rd, 2007 at 8:05 pm

  Gracie, what smells like dog waste baking on hot asphalt?

• Matt
  October 23rd, 2007 at 9:50 pm

  What do you call this poster that we are in?

• Fronz
  October 23rd, 2007 at 10:09 pm

  See what happens when you make me cook, hunny? Now get back in the kitchen.

• James Barker
  October 23rd, 2007 at 11:49 pm

  My favorite!
  SPAMcakes!
  With SPAMsyrup!

• Paul O.
  October 24th, 2007 at 12:03 am

  For the love of spam, Gracie, it’s the 50s! Why haven’t you learned to cook yet? And don’t you dare yell “SPAM!” again or so help me…

• Mike Jacobs
  October 24th, 2007 at 12:22 am

  Made from fresh pig anus!

• Rich
  October 24th, 2007 at 9:07 am

  …ulp…urrrp!

• karasumi
  October 24th, 2007 at 3:51 pm

  Who’s the cat that won’t cop out
  When there’s danger all about?

  SPAM!

  Right on

• Jen
  October 24th, 2007 at 9:05 pm

  “Is this what happened to your brother, Gracie?”

• Jen
  October 24th, 2007 at 9:11 pm

  Gracie: “Perfect for the Surprise Party Luncheon!”

• nerfherder
  October 25th, 2007 at 2:04 pm

  You shined my shoes and fed the dog with what??

• nerfherder
  October 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm

  You left the condensed milk from our last sponsor sitting too long and got what??

• dlc
  October 25th, 2007 at 4:26 pm

  George: “HOT!”

  Gracie: “SPAM!”

• Michael Fate
  October 25th, 2007 at 5:41 pm

  40 years from now you know what people are going to hate getting in their email?

• Adam Farrington
  October 26th, 2007 at 12:01 am

  (singing)
  S’wonderful! S’marvelous! that you should cook for me!

• Adam Farrington
  October 26th, 2007 at 12:07 am

  A manwich is a meal, but a Spamwich is a way of life.

• Adam Farrington
  October 26th, 2007 at 12:16 am

  No gracie Allen, I would not like them in a tunnel, nor through a funnel, not with a mouse or in a house, or in a box, or with a fox, or with some pancakes, or in a damn lake, I do not like spiced canned ham!!!

• nick
  November 4th, 2007 at 8:34 pm

  spam burger hamburger

• ruby
  November 5th, 2007 at 2:53 pm

  We have to write our own ad now because the writers are on strike… what’s the ad for again???

• Snappy
  November 5th, 2007 at 6:58 pm

  Gracie, what’s so great about Adam Farrington’s lines?

• Snappy
  November 5th, 2007 at 7:05 pm

  Gracie, I think Snappy should lure Adam Farrington into the cup of a giant slingshot, and fling him across town while making off with his fancy new book. Gee, what should we use as bait?

• Snappy
  November 5th, 2007 at 7:12 pm

  Gracie, seriously… for the love of God and our marriage, stop saying spam…

• Snappy
  November 5th, 2007 at 7:12 pm

  Gracie, I never loved you.

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 3:30 pm

  Gracie, what does Techno Viking eat to make himself look so buff?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 3:34 pm

  Gracie honey, I can’t find those socks I usually stuff into my shorts to make me look like a better man, what else can I use?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 3:38 pm

  Honey, Artie Shaw and half the band just threw up in our sink forcristsakes! What did you put in those appetizers?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 3:51 pm

  Gracie, what’s so good that the U.S. military serves it three times a day at Guantanamo Bay?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 3:53 pm

  Gee, honey, the dog’s dead, what did you feed it?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 4:03 pm

  Wow, I’ve got some kind of unearthly desire for pork shoulder meat with ham meat added, how can I eat them together without ruining our blender again?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 4:07 pm

  Gracie, I heard Dick Cheney just came out and said that they’ll stop waterboarding? Now why do ya suppose they did that?

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 4:17 pm

  New and improved! Now with some kind of meat!

• Snappy
  November 6th, 2007 at 4:18 pm

  Lottsa people don’t know that rat feces are a good source of vitamin B-12!

• nerfherder
  November 8th, 2007 at 3:04 pm

  Who won???

• Alex
  November 8th, 2007 at 3:28 pm

  Ah, forgot to write a comment: this contest had been called already - winners were notified by email. Because there were 20 of them, I didn’t have the time to post up the winning entries.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:18 pm

  Gracie dear, I want to take a nap, but I can’t find the cat. Where is Mr. Snuggle Wumpkins?

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:24 pm

  Wow, it’s a good thing Medicare Part D pays for all my blood pressure pills and cholesterol binders!

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:30 pm

  Folks, there’s only one thing that can make me forget that I’m Jewish besides a good spliff. Tell ‘em Gracie.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:32 pm

  (Snappy comments for love, not prizes.)

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:35 pm

  And folks wonder why I took a Gentile for a wife…

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:45 pm

  Honey, Bob Hope just called and says he’s out of hair tonic. What can he use in a pinch?

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:49 pm

  Babe, Bing Crosby just called and said Bob Hope stinks like a jar of two-day-old gorilla butt, what can he use to mask the stench?

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:51 pm

  Gracie, I’ve got Malaria, is there a cure?

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:58 pm

  Honey, seriously. You are taking this promotion a little too far. I think you are developing an unhealthy, and when I say ‘unhealthy,’ I’m not trying to be funny… an unhealthy obsession with…

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 9:59 pm

  ‘Served in fine nut houses nationwide.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:00 pm

  At least the money’s good.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:13 pm

  Gracie, five semi trucks filled with ever-lovin’ SPAM just pulled up in front of the house! I’ve got Hormel on the line, and they say you told them that we don’t want money! What did you do?!

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:31 pm

  The next time you see Techno Viking grooving in the middle of the street, protecting all the cool chicks from harshing marauders and naer-do-wells, hand him something that will keep his pointing hand in the air and laying down God’s law. Hand him…

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:47 pm

  SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Consuming SPAM Near Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, and Low Birth Weight.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:54 pm

  Honestly, undeveloped fetal pigs produce the most tender and tastiest meat possible, just don’t think about it.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 10:57 pm

  WARNING: Smoking SPAM is not a safe alternative to cigarettes.

• Snappy
  November 8th, 2007 at 11:06 pm

  Don’t let Commie Joe Stalin take away your dinner! Keep your shelter stocked with Senator McCarthy-approved SPAM. The only meat proven to survive a nuclear attack.

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