Caption Monkey 2: Alligator Knocking

I CAN HAS HOOMANBURGER?

(LOLGATOR)

Good day folks, this is Alli Gator from the IRS. I’m here about your last tax return.

Bb-baby will you open the door?? Please?

No I haven’t been drinking!
C’mon, it’s me papa gator!!

WILMA!!!

“Avon calling”

Bing-Bong, Candygram.

Knock Knock:
-Who’s there?
-Chicken
-Chicken who?
-Chicken open, I’m going to come in.

Hi, I’m your Mary Kay consultant with a great, new solution for dry skin!

Roslyn was disturbed when her new “mobile luggage” finally arrived in the mail.

Look, I will dance here until you let me in – I got the move!

Dateline: To Catch a Predator: Predator Edition

“Good afternoon. No, wait! Don’t be alarmed. It’s true, I used to be like so many gators, spending my days hanging around in swamps, eating whatever poor creature came my way. But then I discovered the Church of Latter Day Saints, and turned my life around. Can I come in for a moment and talk to you about your relationship with the Lord? I can? Great.

Now, about the Lord? Say hello to him for me, you fat, tasty idiot.”

(My favorite so far is the HOOMANBURGER one.)

“Come on, honey! I’m sorry, really! Don’t be so cold-blooded!”

Im in ur doorway smellin ur teriyaki!

I’m selling girl scout cookies. They’re made with real girl scouts!

“alright boys this is the house”
and with that we never heard from paul hogan aka crocodile dundee again

Ahh!! Lemme back in! I think I saw a dog!

DIVORCES ARE EXPENSIVE IN FLORIDA
Honey, could you get the door?

Paid for by the Colorado Department of Tourism.

Steve Irwin! Come out, come out wherever you are!

wow, that hummingbird is clearly too large, green, scaly, and four-legged to reach that feeder.

Oh yes! I tought him how to open the door! The bong thing he learned on his own!

Illegal alien vs predator

realizing their passive approach isn’t winning them many followers, the jehovah’s witnesses switch to plan B.

Candy-gram!

“Is possible make a shit your house immediately, very urgent, I have problem, please?”

–From “Da Ali G Show: Guide to USA 2″

Heeelllo? I’m lookin fo ma buckit!

Al Gator had heard about urban sprawl encroaching upon wetlands, but he had no idea it went so fast!

Uhhh…Candygram!?

Excuse me, but have you any toilet paper?

A little early for halloween isn’t it?

Cow tools

“Knock Knock” “who’s there?” “Allie” “Allie who?” “Alligator”

As their new neighbors moved in, the resident Floridians sent over the ‘Welcome Gator!’

“Ok… this mail-order leather wallet says ‘Some assembly required’. I wonder what that means?”

“Hello, customer service? I said ‘Gator-Aid’, not ‘Gator-maid!!!’ “

I CAN HAS HOUSE?!!?!?!

(not copied from first post, I was thinking of that while on the front page.)

Oh, man. It’s gonna be so funny when this guy comes out and trips over my tail.

Good day, madam, I’m a Godzilla’s Witness, spreading the good news of His Scaliness. Do you mind if I step in for a bit?

Oh c’mon people…it’s so obvious……
Woman #1: [ moves to chain-locked door ] Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Ramilarghh??

Woman #1: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber..

Woman #1: Plumber? I didn’t ask for a plumber. Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Telegram.

Woman #1: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment.

[ unlocks door, and opens it. The head of the shark appears, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway as she screams. ]

[ SUPER: "Jaws II" ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff and Matt Hooper looking over a three-foot long metal tub covered with a white cloth ]

Matt Hooper: [ looks under cloth and winces ] Oh, my God!

Sheriff: What was it?

Matt Hooper: Land shark. The cleverest species of them all.

Sheriff:

[ dissolve to Woman #2 in her apartment ]

[ Music: "Jaws Theme ]

[ a knock at the door ]

Woman #2: [ appoaches the door ] Yes?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Arlsbergerhh??

Woman #2: Who?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Johnannesburrrr??

Woman #2: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Flowers.

Woman #2: Flowers? From whom?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber, ma’am..

Woman #2: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Candygram.

Woman #2: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You’re the shark, and you know it.

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] I’m only a dolphin, ma’am..

Woman #2: A dolphin? Well.. okay..

[ she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Matt Hooper lifts up cloth napkin covering plate, then winces and looks away ]

Sheriff: What is it?

Matt Hooper: Egg salad again. [ removes sandwich from under napkin, and takes a bite ]

[ dissolve to Woman #3 in her apartment, Woman #2 putting on make-up to go out ]

[ door buzzes ]

Woman #3: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Land Shark.

Woman #3: [ laughing ] Oh, Walter!

[ she opens door laughing, but is attacked and dragged into the hall by the Land Shark ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff on phone looking horrified into another rtub covered with cloth ]

Sheriff: [ on phone ] Hello, Walter. I have some good news, and I have some bad news. First, the good news. There’s a party tonight at my house. Now, the bad news: you’ll be coming stag. Goodbye, Walter..

[ dissolve to Woman #4 in apartment, listening to the radio ]

Radio: …considered the cleverest of all sharks. Unlike the great white, which tends to inhabit the waters of harbors and recreational beach areas, the Land Shark may strike at any place, any time. It is capable of disguising its voice, and generally preys on young, single women. Experts at the University of Miami’s Oceanographic Institute suggest that the best way to scare off the shark in the event of an attack is to hit or punch the predator in the Nose. Now for the weather..

Woman #4: [ turns off radio, as the doorbell rings ] Who is it?

Muffled Voice: Sorry to disturb you, ma’am. I’m from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and thought you might be interested in a copy of our journal, “The Watchtower”.

Woman #4: [ grabs a mallet and inches towards the door ] Why, I’d be very interested..

Muffled Voice: Would you mind opening the door, ma’am?

Woman #4: Certainly.

[ she unlocks the door a crack, and reaches out with the mallet to strike the Land Shark's head. Instead of the shark, a Jehovah's Witness stumbles into the apartment and drops onto the floor in front of her. ]

Sorry to disturb you, ma’am. I’m from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and thought you might be interested in a copy of our journal, “The Watchtower”.

When Jehovah’s Witness starts Recruiting alligators

“Hello, I’m selling regurgitated girl scouts, ehrm, girl scout cookies… would you like to buy some?”

C’mon baby, just open the door. I promise not to eat the dog this time!

Shake to the left… Shake to the right…. let me in im ready to rock the house

honey, i just love the new doorstop. we haven’t had any jehovah’s witness’ since we got it.

“Leave me alone!” screamed Hook in horror from behind the door

“Homeland Security. Open the door, sir.”

The terrified Irwins huddled together in their home, as the gators came to finish the job the stingrays had started.

Scuttles the Supergator decided that stopping in time to avoid hitting houses always seemed to be his kryptonite.

Crocodile Mime hopes he makes some money at this place.

“You keep a’knockin’ but you can’t come in!”

I can has bipedal movement?

Say NO to crock!

Their vision is based on movement. I’ll stick to the wall and I won’t move. I’m invisible.

“Rossslynnn, the bird feeders are empty again.”

(Heard from inside the house): “THAT’S IT! I’ve had with those damn Mormons! I’m goin’ out there and given ‘em a piece of my mind!!”

PS: If you’ve ever had Baptists, Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses come proletyzing at your doorstep then you’ll understand my previous comment. I’m not picking on any one particular faith. I chose Mormons because, of the top three, I’ve had more of them come repeatedly knocking on my door.

Housekeeping. You want me eat your kids?

Excuse me? Do you want to buy a wallet?

“Henrietta! It’s that damn dog or it’s me … you can’t have us both!”

This camouflage is terrible.

Boogie dancin’ too-nie-hie-height!

open the door, man,it’s me….dave!

I think #21 should win…

I’m looking for Sonny Crocket.

Maybe, if I push hard enough, I can get this vacation home OUTTA MY SWAMP!

Honey; please let me in, I swear she meant nothing to me!

After years of declining pet population, one alligator takes the first step in getting back his easy prey…
…knocking on Bob Barker’s door, and interviewing to take over The Price is Right!

“all your doorbell belong to us”

Who says two legged alligators aren’t real?

Over in Florida, you have to be careful to who you open the door to on Halloween.

Officials at the Pentagon have raised the TERROR THREAT LEVEL TO: RED due to attacks by the new terrorist group Al-Igator.

Alligators are so dumb, you light the bag on fire, then you ring the doorbell… and that is why, an alligator will never be president!

Oswald was sure his idea for a door-to-door petting zoo would take off, if people would just come out of their houses.

“Oh, my God!!! Please, open the door!!! There’s a rabid squirrel out here!!! HELP!!!!”

Candy-Gram!!!

Forget huffing and puffing, I’m just going to push your house down!

I once caught a fish thiiiiiiiiis big!

“Hey, anthropomorphizers. I ate your freakin lolcats. And I’ll eat you and any other ugly gerbil, hamster squirrel or child you tag with that stupid ‘can have ur an idiot’ crap. Do we have an understanding?”

I promise – I’ll be polite

“You give me chicken, me love you long time…”

Candy Gram

6 days and still no winner?

“Then i’ll huff!, and i’ll puff!, and i’ll BLOW!! your house in!!!!!”

Ouch! Jesus chrisjjst, that lasjjt tequila wassj a bit over the top…

crock a door salesman

“Let me in, theres a dog out here!!”