brian
My brother opened one once and it said “you are a happy woman”. I guess they figured they had a 50/50 chance, but my brother was a bit unsettled by it!
Brian R.
I got the “Rubber bands are facing in the right direction” one once. I kept it in my wallet for a while because I thought it was so funny, but I lost it.
Alex
I got “Get ready for a spanking tonight” once. Turns out a colleague of mine sneaked it into the fortune cookie after taking out the original.
I burst out laughing during a dinner meeting, much to the annoyance of the big boss. Then I showed what I got to the person sitting next to me, and then he burst out laughing. Then I showed it to everyone, and got off the hook. Didn’t get a spanking that night, though.
v.dog
“A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizzard”
If you open a fortune cookie and find a fortune like this, here’s a tip:
Don’t eat the cookie.
And don’t forget to circle your mints. 
Sarah
I’ve gotten the ‘Life is not a struggle. It is a wiggle.” one before. It made the “in bed” suffix pretty funny.
My brother once got one that boasted, “Congratulations: You love Chinese food!” He figured that it’s the only true fortune out there.
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Carolyn T.
ImNoMrNiceGuy
