ever heard of the song “You’re Wrong” off of NOFX’s EP Never Trust a Hippy?

You’re wrong about virtues of Christianity
And you’re wrong if you agree with Sean Hannity
If you think that pride is about nationality, you’re wrong

You’re wrong when you imprison people turning tricks
And you’re wrong about trickle down economics
If you think that punk rock doesn’t mix with politics, you’re wrong

You’re wrong for hating queers and eating steers
If you kill for the thrill of the hunt
You’re wrong ’bout wearing fur and not hating Ann Coulter
Cause she’s a cunted cunt

You’re wrong if you celebrate Columbus Day
And You’re wrong if you think there will be a Judgement Day
If you’re a charter member of the NRA, you’re wrong

You’re wrong if you support capital punishment
And you’re wrong if you don’t question your government
If you think her reproductive rights are inconsequent, you’re wrong

You’re wrong fighting Jihad, your blind faith in God
Your religions are all flawed,
You’re wrong about drug use, when its not abuse
I hope you never reproduce

You’re getting high on the downlow
A victim of Cointelpro
You’re wrong and will probably never know

I really like this song, I believe in it. Not you Norwood Matt…

The bear was shot by a hunter (singular), not hunters (plural). That hunter paid $50,000 to the state to do it. The bear that kilt my friend did not have a valid hunting license to hunt park rangers.

Neither the bear nor my friend were mutants. A mutant is an organism that has had a change of the DNA sequence within a gene or chromosome resulting in the creation of a new trait not found in the parents. There was nothing in the article to indicate such was the case. That bear was a cross-breed, and not a terribly rare one at that. The article also said that this polar-grizzly cross-breeding does happen with bears in captivity. What was unusual was that the poor little bear was a wild cross-breed. If that hunter hadn’t shot it, we wouldn’t know that. Now we know something we didn’t. The non-mutant DNA sample taken from the very dead bear was what the article said proved this.

I’m new to this whole “evolutionary research” thing. How does having a live bear that may be the future missing link in the development of new terrorist bears (as Guse so rightly points out) but that we do not know about help us in this “evolutionary research” you speak of? The logic escapes me. Now, what that hunter may have done is to kill off, or perhaps delay, the introduction of a new breed of bear. I’ll grant you that. You know what I think about that? Great big whoopty-doo (that was sarcasm).

Let me put this in perspective. The male of the bedbug species is quite the active fellow. He will mate or attempt to mate with almost any insect of about his shape and size, regardless of its sex or species. It is quite likely that there are bedbug crossbreeds of one flavor or another in the wilds of my bed (we believe that cleanliness is over-rated here at Chaos Manor) brought into being at the rate of some dozen or so each night! And then I, thoughtless brute that I am, roll over and crush out these cute little new life forms. Oh, the hoomanity of it all! I am shocked; shocked I tell you that Richard Dawkins is not lurking around my bed, ready to pounce on me to stop this travesty. Anyway, the bedbug cross-breeds that survive the enthusiastic gymnastics that I am wont to perform in my bed are certain to have traits that will astound, simply astound evolutionary researchers everywhere. That does it. I’m applying for an NSF grant forthwith. And forget that hunting license. Every bedbug is sacred.

walking around the barren winter wonderland, using it as its personal toilet no doubt, that these fine hunters have tried time and time again to keep free from the fear mongering, dare I say, terroristic bears. Spreading their bear propaganda through snarls and howls, fratinizing among other races of bears. This was obviously a grand conspiracy to combine the most loveable bear (polar, thanks coke-a-cola) and the most dangerous (grizzly, thanks grizzlebees) to gestate a bear that could work its way into our hearts and strike us down in our weakest moment.

I for one applaud these gentleman on their triumph in the name of humanity against this much overlooked threat of the bear society.

“Dumb-ass Grizzly chased the last good human right out of that tree and killed her. Stoopit human-hunting Grizzly!”

Not!